Below Average Blog

I'm Bri, and I'm really sorry.

[absolutebatmanny]

a NSFW blog but instead of porn it’s just pictures of unsafe work practices 

[fxckbro]

[marauders4evr]

I love the lowkey implication in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (especially in the Gene Wilder movie) that Willy Wonka was minding his own business one day and he just saw this skinny looking kid staring up at his factory, licking his lips, and he was just like, “Shit, that kid needs some chocolate, but he’s clearly too poor to afford any and there’s no way I can run outside right now and reveal my existence to the world, right? Damn. Okay. I can send an Oompa Loompa. No, that’ll scare the kid. What candy does he even like anyway? What if I give him the wrong one? All right, we need to get this kid into the factory so that he can pick his favorite treat. But what happens when he leaves? Shit, shit, shit, okay, we’ll just give him the factory. Give him the whole factory. That’s the only way. But how? Come on, Wonka, be inconspicuous here. I’ve got it. A nationwide contest inviting multiple kids into the factory where I’ll reveal that the winner gets the factory. Crap, no, then there will be four other kids in the factory. Okay, no problem, we’ll just kill them all until he’s the only one left. Yeeeah, that’s a good plan. Okay, everyone, places. We’ve got literally one shot at this.”

[marauders4evr]

You don’t think Willy Wonka had connections with what seems to be the only candy store in the entire town?

And what, we’re supposed to believe that after years of starving with no money, all of a sudden, Charlie conveniently finds some money right in front of said candy store? 

And remember, in the movie (which is honestly one of the few movie adaptations that’s better than the books), the worker picks the chocolate bars that he hands to Charlie. 

Wonka and the workers knew exactly what they were doing.

Chaotic good at its best.

[ohoziers]

this was an interesting read and all but i just read the second last line as “wonka and the wonkers” and now i feel…… strange 

[lilcoldy]

[predictivetextbot]

You ever just think, like, what the fuck is going on?

[targuzzler-deactivated20180224]

the bots have reached peak relatable

[bepeu-deactivated20171202]

sometimes ‘brb’ stands for ‘be ready bitch’ so you have to be careful

[gotitforcheap-deactivated201611]

this is so wild, this guy thought his landlord was going into his house and leaving him post-it notes but he just had an extreme case of carbon monoxide poisoning 

[rosie-girl]

Modern ghost story

[cockyhorror]

Did reddit save this dudes life

[gelfling]

What the fuck

[bubblesthewaterbender]

NO BUT I READ THIS WHOLE THING ONCE.

he got the CO detector out, saw that it was in dangerous levels (there was a problem with an underground parkade in his building, iirc), calmly went “shit”, and went to the hospital. If he didn’t get that advice, he would most likely be dead now.

The best part? He didn’t get a webcam app or anything. He just made a folder, called it Webcam, and called it a night in his carbon monoxide induced delirium.

This is honestly one of my favorite Reddit stories.

[wondrousworld]

So my roommate (girl) bought this vodka?? and me (guy) and my other roommate (guy) poured a glass and have just been staring at it for a good 10 minutes idk what is this glitter fuckery I don’t wanna drink it

[pinknegg]

I (guy) am curious why your genders are relevant

[dialupmodem-deactivated20250702]

i (big baller) am wondering if anyone here smokes weed (narcotic)

[biodegrade]

I’d love to relax but it’s just not realistic

[murdernachos]

[dimabilan]

so i work at a retirement home and one of the residents heard me saying “mood” all the time and she asked what it meant and now she won’t stop saying it

another resident fell over and she was just like “mood”

[dededeman]

[rubiline-deactivated20210204]

ive said this before and ill say it again: notice how meta knights costume has no seams. meta knight killed a person. meta knight fucking killed this penguin and is now residing in their body

[newyorksjojo]

or maybe he just has the seams on the inside like anybody sewing a penguin disguise would do because he takes pride in his work instead of being a lazy glutton like Kirby who just waddles around like a fucking idiot eating everything in sight like that’s why Meta Knight is so embarrassed whenever you beat him and his mask comes off and he looks just like Kirby because an honorable knight of his caliber doesn’t want to be associated with that shitty-ass pink blob that somehow always saves everybody every god damn time just by eating things

[anem0nesiac-deactivated20231104]

meta knight wrote this post

[addelburgh]

[playingthatgamecalledmyemotions]

That's a baby

[unclewalk-deactivated20190218]

bruh when it says “video will play after ad” instead of “skip in 5..” i be ready to fucking fight

[wolfi-sama]

I was doodling smol birbs and ended up with a birb that looks like it’s having an existential crisis

[vivienvalentino]

[hoebutmadefashion]

[thebestoftumbling]

[unknownwardrobee]

[majikmountain]

who is she?

[sho-yoo-blog]

she’s smokin