i only use mobile @fxckbro - Tumblr Blog

Sugar…..spice…..and everything nice. These were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect little girl. But Professor Utonium accidentally added an EXTRA INGREDIENT to the concoction…. CHEMICAL X.

stephanemiroux

For those who want to catch up.

pileofknives

The Unified Theory of Viral Song Describing Extremely Specific Social Phenomena

huffylemon

RIP yahoo answers

funnelcloudd

8 Gyrating Gelatins That Will Blast Nana’s Asscheeks Clean Off

thejohncarver

helloitsbees

modern art

grungegoths

waaait why do so many people hate/cancelled prince philip? did he say/do anything problematic recently?

Hes a nasty little thottie and he just died from making it clap on instagram

p0stmarxed

He was panphobic

aurpiment

#he shipped snarry

otherwindow

I hate explaining jokes but this fucking scene from Kung Pow makes me lose my shit every time:

The children screaming “We’re children!” like they’re Pokemon

Cans of Pringles in the background

Shopkeeper’s voice breaking the microphone levels

“Babe-y”!

The shitty cgi hand with the phone

He doesn’t even dial the phone

ratchetmessreturns

ur mcm wakes up , it is 3 o clock pm. he rolls over on his twin sized mattress which is on the floor n grabs his weed pipe he got at the indian store. he proceeds to try n hit a bowl w absolutely nothing innit except hopes n dreams. after inhaling some hot air he proceeds to cough for exactly 16 seconds straight. finally collecting himself he sits up and winces in pain as the dried semen from last nights onlyfans session cracks and pulls the small hairs on his tummy. he grabs his samsung milky way x2 from 2013 off his cigarette ash stained nightstand n opens fb. "quarantine or not the grind dont stop , ima chase a bag till they put me in the dirt omm 💯💯" he posts , completely satisfied w his first fb flex of the day. he goes n peeks in his moms room , thrilled that she is in fact still at work. he walks over to her dresser and rummages thru it collecting $10 in loose change , an ativan , and 3 pall mall ultra light menthol 100's. he lights one immediately. "todays gonna be a good day" he thinks to himself. it was in fact not a good day. he walked a mile away to the nearest convenient store to meet up w his weed man and while sitting outside on the curb a homeless man came up and asked him for a cigarette. he was feeling generous due to his earlier collection of the $10 in change so he reached in his pocket and pulled out the cigarette case which contained the aforementioned pall malls and the $10 bill he had exchanged his change for. upon seeing the $10 bill tucked into the plastic on the cigarette box the homeless man proceeded to snatch the entire pack out of ur mcm's hands and take off in a full , u-could-never-ever-catch-him crackhead sprint. ur mcm started to chase him but after seeing the absolute fukn acceleration that man had produced he stopped in his tracks , defeated. moments later the weed man pulled up only to see ur mcm holding back tears. ur mcm walked up to his driver side window w tears in his eyes and proceeded to tell him what had just happened in hopes he might get a sympathy gram. he did not. the weed man laughed in his face , slapped him for wasting his time , then called him a bitch and told him not to ever contact him again. an attractive young woman , having seen these events transpire from inside the store , walked out and laughed in ur mcm's face while walking to her nissan altima. ur mcm walked back home w his head down and once within range of his home wifi he opens fb again. "real bosses take a L and bounce back 🚫🎩 #BusinessMind #Entrepeneur" he types. he takes a deep breath and clicks post before putting his phone back into his pocket. the microwave dings as he takes his offbrand ham n cheese hot pocket out. it is still frozen in the middle.

iguanamouth

pov: you are a guest at my wedding

iguanamouth

would you cover the mona lisas smile

thewickedavatar

i found a subreddit dedicated to people eating oranges in the shower

little-vvitch

i thought this was going to be something sexual but it’s so much weirder than that

white-cishet-snail

Now I kinda want to try this

first-order-simulacra

im eating oranges in the shower when they get wet i just eat another

bathroomcube

hey remember how awhile back i mentioned that tiktok has a whole trend where people mix cleaning supplies well i redownloaded tiktok so im finally able to show you what i mean

diet-soap

I put my bare hands in this sink and get a chemical burn so bad it oozes and bubbles nonstop for days

bathroomcube

i have GREAT news for you

riseofthedruids

potion of cough up blood

hottiewitabloggie

people are so fucking stupid oh my god

tami-taylors-hair

Cleaning TikTok: We’ve mixed the perfect cleaning solution!

Everyone Else: You’ve created mustard gas is what you’ve done. Your lungs look like you’ve just returned from the Western Front.

thebiscuiteternal

(Quiet Horrified Screeching)

NO

discount-daddy

tiktokarchive

sour-charity

ecology-of-the-inhuman

isa-ghost

If a woman has

STARCH MASKS

O N H E R B O D Y

does that mean

she has been pGReNant bef o r e?

alsolucimorningstar812

DANGEROPS

Pranget sex?

Will it hurt baby top of his head????

isa-ghost

Can uu get,,,

𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓰𝓪𝓷𝓽𝓮

alsolucimorningstar812

38+2 weeks

PREGANANANT

charlioak

can uu go down a

20 foot waterslide

while uu are

PEGNAT?

lesbian-bookworm

For anyone who doesn’t know what this is referencing

five-flats

this video legit never fails to make me laugh and i’ve seen it god knows how many times

roach-works

every time me and my partner drive pass this one bus stop ad for a clinic that says PREGNANT? on it real big we absolutely have to say pregante? pregananant? to each other until the next stop light