so we're a polyfrag polyplex. we currently have two hemisystems; one contains three sidesystems, the other just one, but that sidesystem has two sparsystems (that we often call sidesystems in casual conversation because nobody knows what a sparsystem even is. oh, the joys of complex system structure).
or at least, it HAD two sparsystems. we'll call them WW and CW for warm weather and cold weather respectively. you'll see why in a moment.
WW was the original sparsystem. its host, M, has been around since we were a junior in high school (iirc), and--in its own words--was sort of a stopgap to help us get through high school (it was incredibly stressful and traumatizing in its own way, we were dealing with an abusive partner at the same time, etc etc). however... it stuck around well after high school ended, because (A) at the time, we didn't realize that "getting us through high school" was its main purpose, and (B) it was desperate to keep the host role*.
*some context: until M, we'd never had a host last longer than a year. M managed to last just about three and a half years, if my memory serves. it was mainly desperate to prove that it wasn't destined that every host could only last a year.
now, we have schizophrenia and SAD. these two combine to create the worst possible experience. M in particular is very affected by our SAD. normally it just sticks it out the entire way through, but it's always a mess when it does. it's a paranoia holder as well, which makes things worse; for the longest time, it thought we were "cursed" so that every December, something life-changingly awful would happen. it wasn't until December of 2024 that it was proven wrong, and it wasn't until it was proven wrong that it started letting go of that belief.
enter: October of 2025. i, S, form. and i have a weirdly high amount of knowledge about the system right off the bat. and i have Opinions And Feelings. so i approach M and i'm like "hey, i know you really really want to be host still, but you have severe SAD and we're going into the worst months for it. i can take over until March (meteorological spring), and we can basically both be hosts and just switch off for the seasons."
it agrees. and from there, CW (which fronts during the cold weather--understand the names now?) forms and splits off from WW. i am host, and i get a good thing going. i learn loads of things about myself, i get my own friends, my own food and drink, my own interests and games, blah blah blah.
it is February. last night, i realized that i'm supposed to hand off control to WW in less than a month. most of the things i had been planning on getting done (most notably, getting a job) had not been done due to extenuating circumstances (most notably, our grandma having a heart attack and subsequently developing stage 5 dementia). and because there are still things i want and need to do that cannot be done in just a single months time, i feel incredibly unready! M has never been particularly stable (again, high school stopgap), and it doesn't have a drive to do much of anything now that we're out of high school (ahem. see previous parentheses). so, best case scenario, WW takes over and we do functionally nothing for six months until i can come back once next September rolls around. and who knows what the fuck will be happening then!
so, i drag WW up to prominence so i can talk to M. and M sees some things that have changed, and it immediately starts crying, and it starts telling me that it wants to retire as host.
"i'm just not cut out for it. i can't really do anything. fuck, i still feel like i'm a 15 year old struggling through high school, and we've been out of high school for nearly two years now! and now that i've had a break, i'm less stressed, and i feel less like i need to be host. i mean, i'd still like to 'be host' for our birthday since i'm the one who planned it in the first place and i was really excited about it, but that's about it."
and then i start getting stressed and crying. because even though i do want to continue being host, and even though i am dreading the idea of us Doing Nothing, in my head, we were still supposed to be doing this together. i was just hoping for an extra month or three to get shit done, and i could drag M up so it could experience our birthday.
eventually, we come to the conclusion that WW and CW will merge. specifically, WW will merge into CW, with CW being the "base" sparsystem, since we have our own whole headspace based on our shared special interest. M will act as co-host and can take over for a few days if i need a break (i mean, just recently, i had a whole spiral and crash due to burn out from masking our personality disorders constantly just to appease people we didn't actually like) or if it needs to be there for something (eg, it will probably be there for when the aforementioned grandmother sheds her mortal form since it has way more connection to her than i do, with it being a sort of incarnation of previous hosts while i'm just Some Guy), but i will be the main host.
anyways, now that we're all in the same headspace (and CW's population quintupled literally overnight because WW had 40 headmates and we had, like, 12), M finally met my boyfriend aka our gatekeeper/caretaker (BF), and BF is absolutely taken with M. M is confused because BF is a fictive from our special interest (and evolved out of the NPC of him we had in our headspace) who formed after a particular update that mostly focused on BF. that update came out on Halloween. aka, i was host, and M was not, so M has no (clear) memories or understanding of anything that happened in the update, and basically just remembers BF as an in-game NPC with like, 5 lines of dialogue, lol.
