[homoluigi]

Lol

[childofgears]

you’re just gonna leave this in the tags?

[spdermen]

Six years ago he introduced me to the world of skateboarding by sharing my video wearing a fairy costume. Today, he filmed me at the Olympics. This is all so amazing, I’m living a dream! ❤️🥰 Thank you @tonyhawk to being so kidding and always motivating me.

Rayssa Leal, the youngest athlete to represent Brazil in the history of the Olympic Games at age 13, with Tony Hawk via instagram

[tangerinedream]

i just want a girl to look at me and hope i’m gay

[oifelixcmerebrou]

[dispatchesfromtheclasswar]

[funnytwittertweets]

[soulvomit]

This is what executive dysfunction feels like.

[oneheadtoanother]

[incorrectchoniberonicaswangs]

I need the gay beronica subtext please, it’s for science. The science of entertainment.

[datasoong47]

[amaraqwolf]

Good news: if you’re currently laying around and not producing anything, you are a credit to your species.

[curlicuecal]

I’m an ant biologist and I’d like to point out that ants also spend a significant percentage of the time doing nothing.

Turns out sometimes the most evolutionary useful thing you can do is chill and not wear yourself to shreds, whether mammal or insect. It helps you deal with emergencies and adapt to change. Plus, you can act as living food storage!

That last part is probably more an ant thing than a human thing, but hey, live your dreams.

[jumpingjacktrash]

it’s also a bear thing, which absolutely explains me

[gallusrostromegalus]

Doing absolutely fuck-all is how antarctic sea sponges live to be over 10,000 years old, so live your best, longest, laziest life.

[kaity--did]

Y’all being pregnant while moving into a new house is BUCKWILD

My husband is an intelligent man, but he has gotten in his head that if I lift one box I will PERISH

[kaity--did]

Here is the problem in a nutshell

Would I love to let my husband do everything? Of course?

But this absolute GIANT of a man after TEN YEARS together still has no spatial awareness and NO AWARENESS that his a A FOOT AND A HALF taller than me. If he is left to put thing away, he will do so diligently but he PUTS EVERYTHING ON THE TOP SHELF and my TINY TREX ARMS CAN NOT MAKE THAT TRIP

[kaity--did]

I threw out my back and he’s now convinced that it’s his fault for letting me carry paper plates in the house my self and that he’s going to be a terrible father

This man has a LAW DEGREE and is a PRACTICING ATTORNEY

[kaity--did]

“You have two skeletons inside you right now that is double the amount I have. You are my sweet special Eldritch Horror” - My Husband

Thanks I think?

[kaity--did]

“It’s insane that we just made a person! I’ve never even met a baby before what do I say?!”

Not worried about diapers here folks, just first impressions

[kaity--did]

“I’m going be be a dad which is just buckwild. I have your pregnancy checklist but here is my fatherhood check list

1. I need a riding lawn mower

2. I need a white tank top

3. I need a beer, particularly an amber colored one

4. I need a book of puns

5. I need a baby back pack to carry said baby

6. I want my own diaper bag, and I want it to be STYLISH

Kait are you writing this down this is important?”

[kaity--did]

Me: a lot of people on the internet are calling you a himbo, would you like to respond?

Husband: I am often very dumb, and I do drink the respect women juice like fine wine, however I am not very strong, and I just don’t know if I can accept this title if I do not meet all the qualifications

Me: I don’t know, you lifted all those boxes on your own

Husband: this was simply DAD ENERGY

🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[kaity--did]

I can not with this fool

[catgirlnailpolish]

literally marry him

[kaity--did]

I have great news my friend

[404computerhamstersnotfound]

marry him again

[kaity--did]

I’ve read him some of these replies and he got very upset and yelled (which if you know my husband is barely over a whisper) “I CANT MARRY YOU ANY HARDER I KNOW IVE GOOGLED IT MANY TIMES”

Y’all I’m obsessed with this idiot

[kaity--did]

We had the baby! She was 13 weeks early! My husband got to hold her for the first time yesterday (due to her being in the NICU) and he took one look at her and said

“Oh yeah yup. I’m never going to be able to tell you no to anything ever in my whole entire life. We’re gonna have so many dogs. Oh I’m in so much trouble”

Also it’s his birthday

So he’s doing great ❤️

[teacupfulofstarshine]

iconic and beautiful, the epitome of fatherhood

[sebastian-likes]

[makeupandchill]

i don’t get it omg

[hedgehodgemonster]

[jumpingjacktrash]

who the fuck is party cannon they’re the true rebels here

[noticemk]

look at this fucking album cover

[owlmylove]

no one tells you how much of life takes practice. not just writing, painting, running, singing, etc, but practicing how to make friends. how to make the right ones. getting practiced at how to be a good friend, a good sibling, a good person. practice identifying when people haven’t earned that. learning to recognize your right to rage and, eventually, how to offer mercy. so much of life is muscle memory, and i’ve begun to realize there are so many more parts of ourselves to flex and stretch and strengthen than those we’re taught in anatomy lessons

[heylibrarianlady]

I often look like this

art by narcokleptic

[crewdlydrawn-deactivated2022072]

.

.

.

*transphobes / enby-haters please kindly make your own posts if you’re mad about it. Thanks.

[alarmingpenguin]

A story in three parts

[paintfroge]

[am1na]

Fatherhood the state of being a father.

[kingofthehillcaps]