Previously iscaredeath

I currently work full time at a bank and I'm 28. I use she/her pronouns and I'm an asexual biromantic. I love kpop, reading, dancing, and writing. I'm learning Korean, Spanish, and Japanese! I love talking to new people so don’t be afraid to message me!!

[bysouthernsea]

Against popular belief, I don't think they spend their honeymoon fucking like rabbits.

I think they spend it out in the sun together.

They join random strangers for beach volleyball. They stop for gelato at a little café, where Ilya somehow ends up chatting with an elderly Italian couple, and before they know it they're playing cards together for the rest of the afternoon.

They try kiteboarding and windsurfing, and Ilya finally discovers there's something Shane is actually bad at: water sports. (Obviously, he makes the joke and Shane just rolls his eyes, and goes bright red)

They go sightseeing. They refuse to book some ridiculously luxurious resort because they know they'd just end up staying there all day. Instead, they wander, they explore little towns, hike up hills to watch the sunset, duck into museums and tiny shops, make jokes, talk to strangers, and somehow end up having dinner with people they met that same afternoon.

They can do that now and they spend the whole honeymoon giggling about it.

[honeyybrii]

i don't know what's better, 18 year old ilya shamelessly flirting and calling his crush 'pretty' or 18 year old shane, who always hated being called pretty, pissed off that he likes how the word sounds from his rivals mouth

[adorableyak]

Cliff Marlow trying to convince everyone Ilya is the bottom: "Guys, I've shared a shower with him. We've all thought it. You can't ignore it, it's like a Georgia peach, it made three guys dump their girlfriends. We're all just glad that a perfect thing is being properly appreciated."

[goslingplier-rambles]

Simon & Adrian: gentle giant governess and traumatized introvert who can just be silent in the same room with each other and feel safe

Grace & Rocky: two insane besties who nearly died for each other ragebaiting each other and wingmanning in the same breath

[calibricorpse]

"If I was in the Heated Rivalry universe I would ship Shayden"

"If I was in the Heated Rivalry universe I would be an Ottawa Centaurs fan"

If I was in the Heated Rivalry universe, I wouldn't know shit about what was going on. I would've vaguely heard of the hockey husbands and Scott and Kip's infamous kiss but like I probably wouldn't care at all, until I heard about all the drama concerning Shane Hollander and the Metros, which would lead me to become the world's biggest Metros' hater.

[dumbass-writer]

Recently got a retainer bc I sleep grind and it’s exacerbating my existing jaw pain but it’s made me think of Shane having to get a retainer bc you KNOW that man is so tense all the time he clenched jawed his way through multiple Stanley cups but he has to get a retainer and the first time Ilya sees him pop it in to go to sleep and he’s in his glasses I genuinely think he cums in his pants while simultaneously having cuteness aggression and needing to bite Shane bc the little lisp it gives him is annoyingly adorable

[angel-mistakes]

I feel like Hayden should witness Hollanov but not think they're together but instead, thinks he's uncovered the biggest secret about Ilya Rozanov: that he has a crush on his hockey rival. He can see the way too fond smiles that Rozanov throws Shane's way when he thinks no one's looking, most of all Shane. He can see the affection in his eyes that doesn't make sense otherwise. He also sees the hunger there, the way that Rozanov looks like he wants to devour Shane. Something akin to a lion looking at gazelle. Hayden thinks he should tell Shane. He deserves to know Rozanov has the hots for him, especially when Shane announces he's started to talk to Rozanov a bit off the ice. That they even text now.

[danceundersparklinglights]

i’m going to be really honest with you guys i think the tendency to read the absolute worst possible intentions into every action you don’t agree with is getting too automatic and it’s eating you from the inside out

[lizardsfromspace]

Wordle is running out of words. Only 2,000 five letter words remain. When that supply is exhausted the Creation shall begin. One day the word will be ZHURM, and all shall get it, and all shall understand it to mean "an ache from suddenly remembering a long-ago friend, who meant something to you once, but whose face you can no longer conjure". The next day the word shall be JOROL, and all will get it, and all will know it means "the melancholy confusion of passing by somewhere where you once could have died". The next day it will be GREFT, and all will understand it to be a small brown bird with white streaks found only in South America, and suddenly, it will appear, in the shrubs of the Atacama desert, in the streets of São Paulo, and all will know that it once was not there, but now, will always be

[mybloodstream-caffeine]

Shane's face while Ilya is schmoozing at an awards show all dressed up in his tux, hair slicked back, wedding ring glinting in the lowlight of the room: 🙂

Shane's head on a loop: 🎶my man my man my man my baby my baby dicking me down spoiling me driving me crazy my man my man my man my baby my baby dicking me down spoiling me driving me crazy🎶

[lesbianalumni]

when voice memos become a thing, Ilya goes INSANE over them. he sends every single message as an audio clip, even if it's just 2 seconds of "Shaaaane I love you." (there are plenty of clips of him cumming, too, which are saved to Shane's phone and replayed in dire situations.)

Shane learns pretty quickly not to play any audio from Ilya in public, both because he doesn't want to blow up Ilya's spot and reveal how secretly sappy his boyfriend is, and because there's no telling when Ilya will launch into sex talk in the middle of an otherwise mundane message.

years into this, he's driving Hayden to the airport after hosting him for a long weekend. a message from Ilya comes in, starting with "hey baby, coach just called..." according to the iPhone speech-to-text description. it's short, anyway, and Shane doesn't want to read while driving on the highway — he has no choice to press play.

"Hey baby, Coach just called and said practice is pushed back an hour tonight, I told him that's fine for us. Also, I was just showering and I have a hickey on my dick —"

Shane turns bright red and almost swerves into oncoming traffic trying to turn the phone off.

"Did not know this was possible. You gave me dick hickey," Ilya's voice continues despite Shane's best efforts.

"Not a single word," Shane warns, side eyeing his friend right as Hayden begins to laugh.

[t00thpasteface]

me before i get my paycheck: i'm so excited to spend this on essentials and save the rest wisely

me as soon as that direct deposit hits: you know i've always wanted to learn the theremin

[bad3idea3]

So from a USA/Canada perspective Ilya Rozanov is the sexy bad boy who corrupted the Golden Boy, Shane Hollander. But I gotta say, I think from a Russia POV, Shane is the sexy bad boy with his western ways who seduced the great Russian Ilya Rozanov away from them. Every new Russian player in MHL will shit talk Shane for being a bad influence and ruining Russia's Olympic hockey potential and every North American player will just be so confused.

[jewelcoatfish]

people at david’s place of work having a game called: is he talking about shane hollander or ilya rozanov? because david brags about them by referring to both of them as “my son”, and he’s not entirely aware he’s causing confusion either, so now his place of work knows a lot and at the same time very little about shane and ilya lmao

[parrish-the-thot]

Once hollanov gets outed people on the internet are gobsmacked- not necessarily by them being queer- but by party boy club rat Ilya Rozanov being into bed by 8pm Shane Hollander

Lots of jokes and speculation about the relationship like Ilya having to give up his cool life for bland Canadian guy who never heard of anything but missionary or even perhaps Shane having to become a super freak to keep roz around

Shane is kinda annoyed by it but it’s a better reaction than he was expecting.

Ilya tho….ilya is outraged by the people saying Shane being boring is bad and cracking jokes about it and In a drunken outrage posts something like ‘my sexy husband wears the sleepy time tea bear pajamas to bed and it’s so hot it makes my dick explode’ and other horny posts which immediately goes viral until Harris logs in and takes them down but screen shots have already been taken

Shane does an ad campaign and sponsorship with a cozy pajama company a few months later

[helvyeah1]

Connor Storrie & Hudson Williams you’ve captivated me with your beautiful faces and hilarious interviews

[mutinsfromthemoon]

ilya is awake in the middle of the night and he’s just lying there in the bed, a hand behind his head, the other resting in his stomach and staring at the ceiling when he hears shane asking almost whispering still sleepy and very softly “ilya why you’re so far from me?” and ilya almost burst with the amount of love and cuteness aggression he’s feeling and right away goes snuggles with his husband “oh my baby, i’m sorry” he cooed “i’m here now. let’s go back to sleep” as he pull shane into his arms and burying his face into shane’s hair and smiling while he listen shane letting out tiny pleasure sounds and not long after that with his husband very soft and warm in his arms he finally drifts to sleep