Previously iscaredeath

I currently work full time at a bank and I'm 28. I use she/her pronouns and I'm an asexual biromantic. I love kpop, reading, dancing, and writing. I'm learning Korean, Spanish, and Japanese! I love talking to new people so don’t be afraid to message me!!

[mytearsrricochet]

[fuuuckwhoknows]

I love the idea of Shane’s chirps just being observations.

It started when he was a kid and he was trying to help everyone get better at hockey including the opposing teams players, he would say something like “your stick grip is weak” or “you’re slow on your right” (idk i don’t know hockey very well ESPECIALLY little kid hockey) but he says it totally deadpan because little Shanebug doesn’t understand tone yet.

This makes the other teams so mad! They try and fight him constantly! Little bitty baby hockey fights and then Yuna sits him down in middle school after the first fight that he actually gets hurt (black eye and bloody lip) and asks him what he is saying to make everyone fight him?

“Nothing mean I swear mom!!! I’m trying to be nice and help correct their form”

And suddenly Yuna gets it and explains to Shane that not everyone but especially not the opposing team likes to have their flaws pointed out to them even if it’s coming from a good place and how that could be seen as chirping.

So he stops for a while, then his coach for world juniors tells him to try and piss off Rozanov enough that they can draw a penalty. So Shane does what he does best and points out a flaw at each face off. Jokes on him though because Ilya is actively changing those things and getting better every face off because he is taking it for what it is, advice.

Which pisses Shane off, he thinks his chirping tactic won’t work now that he is older. So he points out at his first scrimmage at practice in Montreal that the center who has been there for years (who he is probably replacing) is favoring his left side is staying too far left to compensate (again I don’t know hockey so I am trying to translate things I know about soccer lol)

And the center loses it on him! Immediately yelling about the lack of respect and how a rookie makes it to the MLH and thinks they are hot shit.

So Shane realizes his chirping DOES work just not on rozanov and becomes a menace he studies game tape specifically to find holes in his opponents game and pre prepares chirps and it fucking works because all these men are so far up their own asses that they just get mad instead of using the advice.

Idk I just needed Shane Chirping but in a very Shane way. Like he really just wants to play hockey but chirping is part of hockey so he studies chirping but doesn’t want to do any of the “classic” chirps (your mom! Your wife! Your girlfriend! You’re gay! Type of stuff) so he invents his own chirps out of his amazing mind

[papayafromtv]

every now and then i remember how funny the lego batman Dick Grayson adoption story was. like, Dick was just a fanboy in an orphanage who decided it would be cool if Bruce Wayne was his dad, so when he met Bruce he straight up just asked if Bruce would adopt him, and Bruce wasn't listening to a word this kid was saying because he was distracted, so he just assumed Dick wanted an autograph and signed the adoption documents in Dick's hands, and then he just got in his car and drove off. Alfred had to be the one to go back and get him, just sighing as he opened the car door like 'well, i guess it's legal now, you better get in'. like that's gotta be top ten funniest fucking ways for Bruce to adopt a kid. i think that method should be used more, and i personally think it should be used by Tim.

like- fanboy/stalker child Timothy Drake; knows his parents suck and he decides he wants a new dad. and who would be fucking better than the man he knows for a fact to be Batman?! i want Tim to straight-faced no fear just march up to Bruce during some kind of event with guardianship papers he's already forged his parents signature on, deciding to face-to-face randomly ask this man to be his new dad.

Bruce is not paying attention to anything this kid says, by the way. Bruce is trying to leave the event because Jason's with him and he wants the kid to get an early night before school the next morning. there's press and people asking for pictures swarming the street between him and his car. it's too loud, he's got Jason clinging to his hand and trying to keep up from behind, and there's so many people clamouring for his attention that when this little kid somehow manages to slip up to his side, paper and pen in hand, that he vaguely remembers as one of the kids in his neighbourhood, Bruce just quickly scrawls his signature where the kid points and then tries to shove the paparazzi back again.

Jason's the only one who notices, having tuned out all the other visual and audio mess because he trusted Bruce to handle it. when he sees the glee on Tim's face his hand slips from Bruce, and while the man steps away to demand everybody clear a pathway to his car for him and his kid, he leans over and actually reads what Bruce just signed.

he looks at the paper. he looks at Tim. he looks at the paper.

it's genuinely the funniest fuck up he's ever seen the man do. he visibly has to hold back laughter as he claps Tim on the shoulder and solemnly declares, "welcome to the family, weirdo." before Bruce reaches back to grab him by the sleeve and tug him away again.

Tim goes home to pack his bags and then smugly shows up at Wayne Manor the next day, where Jason lets him in and shows him to one of the empty bedrooms. Alfred spots them and stops for a minute, wondering if this is something he should be involved in. then the kettle goes off and he figures it's not his problem. Bruce does not clock that there is another person unpacking and starting to live in his house until Tim sits next to him at the dinner table and no-shame starts referring to him as dad while Jason gives him the most shit-eating grin imaginable.

[dontcallmeanythingplz]

The deleted scene in Episode 5 when Shane and Rose are having their breakup/sexuality reveal dinner.

Rose "You're gay and it's really okay."

Shane "No it's not."

Rose "It is okay. I know it feels like it's not because of your autism, but it's really okay."

Shane "My what?"

[livythewidow]

Hollanov's first joint presser after The Outing™ when one single brave journalist actually asks about hockey instead of the drama.

They ask who's going to score the most goals this season...

And Ilya chirps THE HELL out of "Hollander."

And Shane rolls his eyes, laughs, and chirps him right tf back.

And they're both giggling and kick each other lightly under the table.

And it's the first time they don't have to pretend to hate each other or resent the chirps.

And this transition/outing has been so hard and so stressful, but also, wow, maybe it will also be...

Good.

[unashamedly-heated]

Thinking how entertaining the first All Stars game after the wedding could be, but knowing the league is probably going to do something to stop Shane and Ilya competing directly in any of the skills competitions

I hope Scott Hunters league of not-asshole players hires a stadium for a day of fun challenges, no pressure, bitta fun, and if people want to come watch? Well then it'd be rude to not let them, ticket sales to the Irena Foundation this year

[mutinsfromthemoon]

thinking about if the pandemic was canon in HR universe that would be the best years of ilya’s life and probably the worst years of shane’s life. ilya having shane everyday for almost 2 years straight and shane not having hockey for all this time? he was definitely losing his mind a little, even though he was with ilya everyday and for sure it was a bliss he loves his russian man all the time, but profissional hockey is a fundamental part of his life. probably when shane was finally accepting the situation, the vaccines arrived

[mutinsfromthemoon]

Ilya is a heavy sleeper, once he’s knocked out, nothing can wake him up. nothing except Shane moving away from him while he’s sleeping. Ilya always wakes to put shane back against him and feeling his husband’s warmth put him to sleep instantly.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

constantly making airy offhand comments to my preferred younger son about how he’s next in line for the throne after his brother but he still hasn’t killed my detested firstborn for me. kids these days have no fucking initiative.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

I keep sending them off on “boar hunts” together and wouldn’t you know? they keep coming back after with big smiles and boar heads and the unmistakable stench of brotherly camaraderie. what sick sad days are these!

[dinocaptain]

two types of advisors

[soleilsplanet]

do you ever just … picture a whole scene, a whole fanfiction in your head, you know how to place every single word of the english dictionary that you need (or your language dictionary), you know how to structure your sentences, you know just what your characters are going to say to each other and then… and then you just open microsoft word.

[the-adults-are-talk1ng]

Its the doc! The blank document steals the ideas from. Your brain!!!! If you want to keep your ideas,, do NOT look at the doc when you open it, look STRAIGHT* AT THE KEYBOARD and write the first words to pop into your head! Once the document isn't empty it, takes away its evil power over you

[rabbitindisguise]

two things:

the mental image of that is hilarious

it might just work

[tinylilhollander]

I just think, upon getting back to their hotel room after their first MLH Awards as a married couple (where they were both nominated but Shane won MVP), Ilya should begin frantically undressing his husband, kissing him like he's been fighting not to all night, only to find that Shane is wearing a plug.

"But how did you...? Have you been wearing this the whole time? The whole ceremony?"

Shane is so fucking pleased with himself. "Surprise."

"So this is what you meant when you said you have big plans if you win. What if I won?"

And Shane tugs down Ilya's briefs so he can finally get to his cock after hours of shifting uncomfortably in his seat just desperate for it.

"Well, good thing you've always liked my plans, huh?"

[shanesloverboy]

Unfortunately Hudson Williams committed several grave sins to the internet:

Masculanized an Asian character

Became a heartthrob as a POC

Gave an award-winning performance for a neurodivergent character

Is dating a woman after playing a gay man

Gets just as much praise as his white costar

Doesn't censor himself to fit in

IS AN ASIAN MAN WHO HAS PEOPLE ALL OVER THE WORLD SO DIABOLICALLY DOWN BAD FOR HIM

[omens-of-what-is-to-cum]

I’m just imaging how, if none of the big tunameltdown/rose/concussion crisis’s that ended up catalysing their relationship happened, Ilya would continue trying to pitch himself to Shane.

like, I think he would just try to do the tunamelt style sneaky affection and accomodation and he would try to do I gradually, and he would neverrrr want to actually say words about it, because why would Shane actually want him as a boyfriend? That’s not a real option.

but, he can tell Shane that “you like prepping for game in calm space yes? My Boston house is calm. You can get fucked in bed and prepare to get fucked on ice there Hollander, da? Is just convenient” And he can obsessively swap out his sheets and hide his ashtray and stock his fridge with healthy food like look! Look I can be a good boyfriend! I have comfy clothes for you and safe food for you and soft lighting and eucalyptus 3-ply tissues just like the ones in your house and

And “oh do you like marking me up Hollander? Ahh well I must leave you a nice clean canvas then” See! Look my neck is unbitten and my back is unclawed and I’m so untouched by anyone but you, I’m only sleeping with you can you see? You don’t have to stop sleeping with anyone, you’re not mine but I’m yours, and I won’t ever ever take anything away from you but look I’m only for you without you even asking I would be so loyal-

and oh “would you like to tell me about your team? And your family, your mother is Japanese, yes? And what about baby Shane Hollander, would he be sad to know you are only second best player? Did you have childhood pets? What is your favourite colour?” See I can listen too, I’m so good to talk to, you’re all I want to talk about, I wish I could record your little stories in crystal quality and play them every night to get to sleep like a lullaby and I want to know you so well I can figure out how to make you happy because I want to be what makes you happy sososo bad and

oh. “Would you like me to call you Shane? Yes I can do this of course. No you can just call me Rozanov if you want-“ you don’t have to want me underneath my body ofcoursenot but thankyou for letting me say your name because it feels sacred on my lips and then I can imagine my own tumbling after it and I know it’s a privilege and I’ll only ever say it like a prayer and-

[omens-of-what-is-to-cum]

more angst!! I will never stop hurting this man <<3333

[boginyagroz]

the first time ilya takes shane to the club after they get married, he shaves beforehand, puts on a tight black tank top and sprays himself with his fuckboy cologne from the hookup era. shane is already horny for him even before they leave the house — crucially, he loves fuckboy ilya, because come on, he’s been fucking this man for years when he looked exactly like this.

at the club, ilya buys out the entire dj set to only play 2010s club anthems all night long. he wants to give shane the ultimate 2010s clubbing experience he never had, but also make up for all those nights ilya had to spend dancing and making out with strangers and not the one person he wanted. but now he gets to do all this with his husband! who is delightfully hard for him by the way, because shane finds sleazy club slut ilya absolutely irresistible. ilya is gripping his hips, grinding against him, licking his neck and whispering the dirtiest filth into his ear, and shane gets dizzying butterflies he imagines all those girls got back then. and he isn’t even retroactively jealous, because now his ring is on ilya’s finger, and oh god, he gets to be taken home by ilya rozanov! he gets to have all his attention now and get railed stupid by him later!! in their shared home!!! shane is living his dream life, and ilya is right there with him.

[norse-naiad]

༄.° late summer wisp ✧˖°. ༄

[jewelcoatfish]

thinking about codependentmaxxing hollanov after shane signed with the centaurs. they do not leave the other’s side everything is a group activity they go everywhere together they look like lost puppies when they don’t have the other around like it severely affects their mood and whenever one of them has to go somewhere alone the other sulks the whole day. people (jokingly) asked them about it and in the most earnest bitchiest way shane replied something along the lines of “everyone has had him for 10 years and i only got seconds and minutes. now they can suck it. he’s mine. i’ve spent so long missing him it physically hurts me to do it again”. and ilya usually makes a joke about how shane is too hot for him to leave alone but secretly he also thinks if he goes five mins without shane’s breath in his proximity he will die of oxygen deprivation.

[droawsy]

portraits of utility poles

[should-be-sleeping]

My autistic child got so excited upon seeing someone else portraying their special interest. What great art.

Behold: every utility pole from our house to their school.

[droawsy]

!!!!!!!

This is so beautiful! Your child is an amazing artist. Thank you so much for sharing. I'm very moved right now.