Howdy hey folks! So I've been doing some writing lately and I'd Love to hear some opinions on this big piece I just wrote. Its basically about whether or not romantic and Devotional Love for another person is conducive to the constructive growth of one's Spirituality. I dunno how people are gonna take this lol sooo it could be great or it could be shitty. Feel free to not pull any punches folks, this is what the writing process is all about! Thanks and God Bless
RAM AND RAT; Sexual Love vs Austerity
One night at a cottage Rat and I were up drinking and philosophizing on LSD into the wee hours. We were seated at the mouth of a long strand of boating docks. Rat decided to stay seated safely in his chair on the land – “where he could safely drink more” – while I bounced around on the docks. I Love the docks, just like Indians of old. They’re a great place to get off. Rat warned me twice about falling in and sure enough I fell in twice, and each time getting out was such a cold struggle that I almost had to retire to bed for fear of hypothermia. But I always shook it off, did a few flourishes, warmed my biological equipment back up and was soon climbing the docks again like they were monkey bars. Rat shook his head, insisting that I was crazy.
“Come on Ram,” Rat announced, “this is the perfect opportunity to talk about the great Spiritual foundation we could be building, to talk about the future – and you’re over there doing handstands on the docks like a child, and wasting all our energy!”
“I can do both,” I retorted. “Besides, who says I’m wasting it? This body energy is made to be used, man. I don’t want the vehicle getting rusty. Living by my Heart like this makes me feel positive and loving. Besides, what good is a grand Spiritual future if there is no Love in the present? I say if there is no Spiritual Love or Heart-expression in the present now then there will be no Love in the present later; and if we can’t learn to be fully present now, then we never will. Love is important, you know. It’s good for you. The grand human organism needs a strong foundation of Love and empathy between heads (Fire; Summer; Spirit) as much as it needs the strong material foundation and community (water; Winter; material-reality) which you’re aimed-at in order to be most effective.”
“I know you’re right…” Rat replied despondently. “But Love is just so dangerous to one’s personal Spirituality.”
I made an expression of dumbfoundedness. “How so?” I asked.
“Well, you know,” Rat began, “you’re not supposed to have any attachments in this life because they drag you from the sublime goal.”
“Well… Communion, I suppose.”
I smirked a steely Scorpio smirk. “Communion with what?” The LSD was suddenly not-so-transparent.
“…With other, I suppose. The other within. The Spiritual mountain peak. Sacrifice, sacredness, austerity, Kriya-Karma Yoga, Taiji. Am I off on a limb here?”
“No no I read ya,” I replied. “But what makes you think a Lover who truly completes you in heart-and-soul would get in the way of that?”
“Well if you ask me,” Rat replied, “everyone should get their Divine communion from their source within. If everyone just focused on their own inner Dharma and devotion then all would flow as it should – from the inside out. The wellspring of all life is sipped from within; no worldly phenomena will quench that Spiritual thirst which the soul is heir to.”
“Just because it’s outside of you doesn’t necessarily make it worldly you know,” I announced. “It’s true that the wellspring is within; is it not therefore also true that the Divine wellspring within you is the same in everyone, and that the pure ambrosia which pours from you is the same?”
“Spirit to someone else is still Spirit to me, even if it didn’t come from within me,” I said. “You’re not seeing the greater zen koan of humanity here, man, you’re only looking at the zen koan of the individual. The individual must sacrifice self for the greater benefit of all, it is true. Is it not therefore also true that a couple of Lovers could sacrifice their mutually generated internal energies in the same karma-Yogic vein of the individual, thereby making for an even more bounteous Spiritual Harvest by their completeness and togetherness than either individual could have achieved by themselves in this lifetime?”
“It may be true Ram, but I know I can’t discipline other people; I can hardly discipline myself. I have enough trouble with my own sacred practice, with keeping the reigns on my own past-life karmas; I don’t want to worry about dragging someone else forward, trying vainly to keep the two of us afloat, when I could more easily achieve more universal buoyancy on my own by being a mendicant. I think the passions of Love are a cop-out from the highest level of Divine sublimation of the self into God.”
“Well aren’t you proud,” I said, giggling in mid hand-stand.
“Well, I do try for humbleness,” he said, lowering his head, and God Love him, he was right. “Besides,” he said, “Love’s passions are just another trap. I want out of the maze,” he said. I shook my head.
“One man’s maze is another man’s playground,” I muttered into the wind. The two of us pondered upon the acid-picture we’d just hung between us for a few moments, and then it was Rat’s turn to shake his head.
“That just seems so indulgent to me though,” Rat spoke worriedly. “Isn’t the ice what makes the fire warm, after all? Isn’t discipline and austerity the very pressure which forges Spiritual diamonds?”
“Well, sure; but what do think heats up the furnace?” Silence. “Love man,” I answered for him, “it’s Love.” He sighed. “Look man, Love is the ultimate Zen-koan,” I announced. “I’m not so unwise you know; I know what to keep and what to shed, I know my heart from my skin. I know to never let the attachments of passionate Love in my personal sphere get in the way of the grand Human Dharma.”
Rat shook his head again, bending into his typical pessimism. “Whatever man, go ahead. Do you thing. Fall into the passionate trap of Love. Surrender your other-worldly energies to worldly appetites. You go right ahead and dip your toe into the sultry waters of Love; you’ll know just who to blame when your dynamic Spirit falls in and drowns.”
I rolled my eyes. Poor Rat, I pondered silently to myself. I intuitively sensed that he didn’t want to lose my dynamic Spirit to the travails of Love, which has happened to so many of his Spiritual activist friends over the years. Rat wants the ultimate Spiritual furnace, the perfect playground, a reflection of heaven on earth: a trans-human community filled with Loving, peaceful, positive-minded people. A perfect Spiritual temple. He wants to see the Grand Human Dharma in action before he gets too old to take advantage of it. He wants to do acid-yoga in a community that won’t make him paranoid about performing his religious ceremonial rites.
Rat still loves to be Loved, and to be warmed by the coals of human Spirit. He’s not afraid of Love; he’s just afraid of the merge, that’s all. He’s afraid he’ll lose hold of the self he’s been working so hard to keep in tune in his lifetime by surrendering his devotion to a partner. I think I understood Rat’s side of the message, but I don’t think he understood where I was coming from. My point was simply that one can be “of this world” and Love, and still not be “of this world.”
The truth of the matter is that I love to fall in. I Love the entanglement and danger of seaweed; I Love the struggle of getting out, the feeling of freedom. It affords me the deep inner-strength and wisdom of knowing, knowing that I could always climb out – which allows me to walk along the docks. Rat fears the docks of Love; he’s too sentimental. He feels that once he falls in, his Spirit will never be seen again. He’d rather wait for a pond worth drowning in, for some imaginary woman who will fit perfectly into his dharmic schedule like a glove, or else for Krishna herself to come and absolve him for his austerities. He may have to wait a long, long time – maybe a few lifetimes, who knows.