I wanna publish zines, and rage against machines

Cori/Eleanor | 22 | taurus |they/them

[sugarmage]

[bellringermal]

[thyrell]

[fendalan]

Way too funny not to share

[ms-demeanor]

[optimisticrunawaygalaxy]

[thekaumidyking]

Trust Gru

[shitilyposting]

"I don't wanna bother you"

Have you considered that this is how your presence feels?

[orpheusilver]

HOW TO HUG LONG DISTANCE

[orpheusilver]

HOW TO EMAIL HUGS

[orpheusilver]

10000 KILOMETER HUG TECHNIQUES

[literallyaflame]

my partner doesn’t use pet names nearly as much as i do, which is very funny because i will crack my gay little knuckles and say some shit like “good morning my sun and moon, my loveliest boy, my baby my sweetheart my darling dearest” and he will reply “hello adrian”

[isaiahomega]

[hustlerose]

[hustlerose]

[hustlerose]

i have been informed by literally every french speaker on earth that “une pipe” is slang for blowjob

[iapislazuli]

when i was at walgreens (at 3 in the morning which explains all of this) the cashier was talking to her coworker about how shed rather be a werewolf than a vampire because vampires are condemned to hell but werewolves arent and then she asked me what i thought and i said vampire because im already condemned to hell and she said in the nicest tone of voice “i dont think anybody is condemned to hell….” paused, stared at me for a few moments, and added on “…not even gay people” 

[iapislazuli]

Happy pride month to the filthiest most brutal read I’ve ever been given in my life

[scratch-meowt]

my hottest take

[keeper-of-the-flames]

Counter point, those machines can make me a peach sprite.

[pusheenthenerdcat]

guys did you know the tech in that nefangled machine revolutionized preemie healthcare

[maimonideznuts]

[pusheenthenerdcat]

yeah the guy who invented them made incredibly precise infusion pumps (as opposed to gravity fed ivs) which not only meant they could give medications to teeny tiny babies safely, it's also used for insulin pumps and portable dialysis machines. the key element is that it's a peristaltic pump so the liquid stays in sterile tubing for safety

(unholy drink cloaca uses it to dispense precise amounts of flavored sugar syrup)

[hedgebotherer]

Then how the haters loved him,

As they shouted out with glee,

"Unholy Drink Cloaca

You'll go down in history!"

[naamahdarling]

You DON'T get this on any other site in quite this format.

[dysfunctionalphotography]

Australian Pelican nesting colony, Perth WA.

[sirfetchd]

how it feels to be obsessed with your own ocs but you cant think of what to say about them

[phantomrose96]

Personally? I would never deny Hiromu Arakawa her right to a short bratty braided blond character in a kickass red coat

[phantomrose96]

Invent a look this iconic and I think you should get to use it in every series.

[phantomrose96]

[chinesewednesday]

[fox-bright]

do not taste plants if you don't know what they are

do not identify a fruit as edible just because it tastes sweet

hope you didn't eat any fucking seeds, bro

[fox-bright]

And today, we have this winner:

I saw the photo in my feed and went ohh, dude, no, we do not handle yellow rocks with our bare hands until we know for sure what they are. And I know that orange...

In comments, they continue:

and that's where I started cussing at the computer monitor. But someone else had got there first:

So just as a reminder, folks. If you don't know what it is, don't put it in your fucking mouth!

[fox-bright]

YOU GODDAMN STUPID MOTHERFUCKER

[lastoneout]

[anistarrose]

if you are a parent, or may become one, or you are otherwise likely to arrive in the situation of caring for a child while they eat, promise me this: if a child doesn't like a certain food or food group, you will ask them WHY. and specifically, you will pay attention to either confirming or ruling out "it makes my mouth itch" or "it makes my stomach hurt," both of which are medically important info that children may not provide unprompted. which i know because this PSA has been brought to you by "i spent my entire childhood and much of my early teens eating peas and lentils while wondering why everyone else liked the Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation so much, like were they a bunch of legume masochists or something, before i finally realized that Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation was in fact a sinister demon appearing only to me, and her true demonic name was: Legume Allergy"

[brainrockets]

Do not let your child suffer from spicy bananas!

[tpwrtrmnky]

the real answer to almost every "does [identity A] belong in [identity B] spaces" question is actually just "these spaces are informal social groups and if you're cool you can hang, don't worry about it"

[tpwrtrmnky]

You can be Homer Simpson at the lesbian bar. It's fine. Don't worry about it.

[lizardlicks]

not without those fire exits I'm not. have fun in your death trap, ladies

[mapleejay]

does anyone else think about how brave all their friends are and get really emotional about it

[mapleejay]

I'm glad everyone is alive rn

[cherryhatter-deactivated2015072]

KICK THE CAN!

Let’s play the biggest game of kick the can on the internet.

To kick the can, reblog it. I wanna see how long this can go on for.

[visibun]

the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13½ years now

[homunculus-argument]

I love browsing cover-up tattoo stuff when every once in a while there's someone asking "how do I cover up this unspeakably idiotic thing" and people are like "please do not cover that up, that's fucking amazing." You just have "shrimps is bugs" written on your leg now. That's your legacy.

[wario-hentai-hobbyist]

Have you seen that one weasel tattoo that someone was asking coverup advice for? One of the best tattoos I've seen.

[wario-hentai-hobbyist]

Found it!

[homunculus-argument]

It's so fucking beautiful I'm in tears. Laughing so hard I'm crying but what difference is that really.