Ivy

I suffer from Pocd she/her,minor Inbox and messages always open. [Maps please do not interact]

[pocdivy]

I’m losing my mind. Oh dear god. I cannot do this anymore, I can’t I can’t I can’t

[pocdivy]

That a part of his body wasn't near a lower part of the bed , i had a thought to just do and moved

I'm also moving a bit towards kids the moment the thought hits me , like "take a step closer to him" and stuff , I feel really horrible

I’ve done similar things, I would get thoughts that I wasn’t sure of and I would sometimes actually do the same thing, I would move closer to check for whatever it was that I was worried about or I would walk by that person a bunch of times. Then I would feel awful thinking that in some way, I acted on my thoughts. Which isn’t true. It’s OCD mixing things around, confusing us, jumbling up our thoughts and feelings. Things that have no actual meaning or things that no one would even notice get turned into something awful. You are not a bad person for having bad thoughts. You will be okay

[pocdivy]

I'm sorry if this is graphic , I'm a minor too but my mom made me sleep with my brother and i put pillows between but than i a thought near his lower parts , i had a thiught that there was a part his body wasn't in but also had a thought of just doing it and i moved , i feel gross but I'm not sure if it's genuine since i thought gross

I can see that you’re distressed and uncomfortable.

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I don’t understand a lot, do you think you could clarify maybe?

But what I will say is that, thoughts are thoughts, they don’t mean anything, you’re fixating on it but that will only make things worse. Someone without pocd wouldn’t have even given it a second thought.

[pocdivy]

I saw my little brother's torso and i think I'm attracted to itv , i felt bad and gross even as I'm writing this but when i try to reason I'm uncertain

Having doubt and guilt are what makes OCD, OCD. You also should recognize how this could be part of the obsession, intrusive thought, checking for attraction, uncertainty. I’ve had very similar experiences, you’re not alone anon. You will be okay

[pocdivy]

Wow I can relate so fucking much

I’m sorry you’re experiencing this as well. It’s honestly awful. But remember that you will be okay.

[pocdivy]

I get you , my school is co ed and it sucks , doesn't help i have a younger sibling

Im so sorry for not answering.

I’m sorry hun, that sounds awful and I know this probably isn’t what you want to hear, but it’s honestly good that you’re being exposed to it. It may feel horrible but it’ll help in the long run and it will help you see how irrational the fear is.

[pocdivy]

i think i have pocd and i just feel so alone... i told my therapist but even she doesn’t understand and i can’t tell anyone else and i just feel so disgusting and hopeless

I’m sorry for not answering for such a long time. When I first thought I had POCD I was horrified and felt awful. I read somewhere that people who think they have OCD, almost always have it (about 98% was the persons opinion). I hope you find (or found) the support you deserve. You are not horrible.

[pocdivy]

I feel the exact same way like at the start I know I hated them but now I’m just numb and feel I don’t care about anyone or anything everytime I’m angry I’m scared I’m gonna hurt that person it’s so confusing but ur not alone

This has been in my inbox for a long time, I’m very sorry for not answering. I’ve been dealing with a lot.

This is what OCD wants you to think, it wants you to be afraid of yourself and make you think that you’re bad a person when in reality, you are the complete opposite.

[pocdivy]

For months I’ve been getting these thoughts and they made me anxious but I knew I didn’t enjoy them. Last night they sparked into an obsession and it feels like I am enjoying the thoughts. I don’t know what to do because I am convinced that I am what I fear. It’s something that is morally wrong to me, I always thought it was weird or inappropriate, always disgusted me or made me anxious. But I am all of a sudden enjoying them!!!??? It’s so frustrating!! I hate this!! Does anyone at all relate or have any advice because I am desperate and just about to accept this as real :/ I feel so numb.

[pocdivy]

I read this on quora and I relate to it a lot. here is the link.

[pocdivy]

Can I get a uhhhh hug because the intrusive thoughts are really bad and not letting me rest

[bipolarbratz-blog]

to my fellow people with intrusive thoughts,

today my therapist taught me that writing down the thoughts a ton of times helps.

it sounds boring (and it is)

however, after a few times the thought just seems meaningless

hope this helps!

[pocdivy]

6.11.18

Hello everyone, I haven’t been very active and it’s because I’ve been dealing with a lot lately. Obsessions keep changing a bunch but the pocd is still a constant, meaning I have multiple at once which has never happened before but it’s very frustrating. I had an obsession come true which was also very scary but once I got the hang of it, I’m better with that now. I keep getting a lot of sexual obsessions all on things that I have been against and have always hated. I’m trying to deal with them and it’s very frustrating and tiring.

One thing I’ve been trying really hard to do is accept uncertainty, I tell myself “maybe it is true, oh well, it’s not that big of a deal” and it usually works, although sometimes it doesn’t and the anxiety spikes. that’s when I have to try to control the checking and other compulsions. I do recommend trying to accept uncertainty in sexual obsessions, because you can never be sure of anything, especially with OCD. OCD will not let you be certain of anything and you have to keep that in mind.

[pocdivy]

💌

I’m sorry for not being very active, I just started school again and I’ve had a rough time lately. I basically got my first boyfriend and I am head over heels for him but at one the pocd was so bad at one point that I broke it off with him because I felt he didn’t deserve to be with someone like me. We got back together after explaining some of my OCD to him, he’s very supportive. I haven’t told him about pocd since I’m not quite ready to.

i hope you’re all doing well. I love you all, you will be okay :)

[pocdivy]

There are so many spelling errors I’m so sorry lol

[pocdivy]

💌

I’m sorry for not being very active, I just started school again and I’ve had a rough time lately. I basically got my first boyfriend and I am head over heels for him but at one the pocd was so bad at one point that I broke it off with him because I felt he didn’t deserve to be with someone like me. We got back together after explaining some of my OCD to him, he’s very supportive. I haven’t told him about pocd since I’m not quite ready to.

i hope you’re all doing well. I love you all, you will be okay :)

[pocdivy]

ur post saying that you cannot enjoy ur worst fear brought me to tears. not only that, but it broke me out of my intrusive thought cycle and my panic attack. thank you SO MUCH.

I’m really glad it helped you sweetheart! Asks like this mean so much to me and it brightens my day knowing that I can help. I hope you’re feeling and doing better! You will be okay!

[pocdivy]

I used to really like cute stuff , now i feel like a pervert , i remember once i even dedicated my blog theme to a cute kid character and an intrusive thought about her popped up which grossed me out , that was in 2016 and I'm thinking maybe those were signs

Personally, I think it’s fine to be a fan of child characters and even actors. I can tell that you didn’t have any bad intentions when doing that and it’s not like you were sexualizing it or being in appropriate. I actually did something very similar in the past and when pocd kicked in it made me feel awful. you’re fine my dear, take a breather. I love you, you will be okay.