ᢉ𐭩 fem!reader, crazy gf!reader guilt trips bf!sukuna into getting back together again (crack)
you filed your nails as you lounged on the couch. you asked without looking up, “kuna, what should we do tonight? i was thinking maybe we could meet up with gojo, geto, and my shoko- but before that maybe we can go to the mall so you can buy me that new lipgloss i wanted- but before that i also want to-“
“i have something to say,” sukuna ran a hand down his tattooed face. he rushed over to sit next to you on the couch, almost sweating as his eyes darted around. he looked at your nail file then you, “put the nail file down, look at me. we need to talk about this.” his eyebrows furrowed in concentration.
“ooookay?” you placed your nail file on the coffee table before you looked at your nails, then a smile spread across your face at the results before you eyed him.
“i uh, needed to talk about this with you,” his breath shook, “we need to break up.” he braced himself for impact, and he clutched the plush couch.
you picked up the nail file again, “i love that! i’m totally fine with that, don’t even worry, sukuna.”
his eyebrows raised in shock. this must be a trick, he thought. there’s no way she’s actually fine with this. his heart broke a little when you didn’t use your special nickname for him.
“are you- are you tricking me, woman? how are you not angry?”
“angry?” you guffawed, “do you even know me? when’s the last time i got angry?” before he could respond with ‘a couple of hours ago,’ you continued, “people grow apart and relationships don’t last! it’s like, totally fine!”
he shifted uncomfortably as he remembered all the times you were upset at him over stupid things, and how he’d have to sleep on the couch or beg for your forgiveness— even though the arguments were almost always your fault.
he stood up, “okay. bye,” he rushed out, then grabbed the doorknob and sighed when you began to say something.
“can i just,” you paused when he looked at you with softer eyes, “can i ask why?” he eyes at you like you’d grown a second head. you continued, “i’m trying to work on myself, sukuna. i’m trying to grow and everything, so i’d appreciate some feedback!” you gave him a smile, but something was a bit off, he just doesn’t know what.
“uh,” he scratched the back of his neck, “you’re- i think you’re a bit of a controlling person-“
“aw, thank you for that sukuna! i loooove that feedback, but do you know what your problem is?”
he turns back to you, heart beat fast in his chest as he grumbled, “what?”
“you’re manipulative, you’re controlling, and you’re a huge asshole to like, everyone!” you said with a smile on your face as you placed the nail file down.
“i, uh,” he paused, then took a cautionary step back back when you look at him with squinted eyes, “are you angry?”
“i’m not, i’m totally not angry!” there was a brief pause, “i’m just happy you said your piece, then i got to say mine because you normally didn’t let me do that in our relationship, you know? you didn’t listen to me much.” as you began to look away, sukuna’s chest felt heavy. he instinctively rushed to your side and placed an arm around you, you continued, “you’re a controlling, manipulative person, literally everyone says it, even gojo.”
“i don’t feel like i am-“
“oh, that’s so funny because you’re so so so wrong!”
“okay, you sound pretty angry-“
“i’m not angry!” and sukuna saw the malicious smile you would show when you were up to no good, “i love this! i love that you came here, to my special place, you’re in my room and you’re breaking up with me here, where i live! it’s almost like i’ll think of this moment every time i’m here,” your laughter faded into sobs as you teared up, mascara ran down your face like a violent river.
“woman, you won’t come to my apartment, so i had to come here-“
your wails became louder, “oh, here’s the king of assholes, again!”
“no, babe, i’m not the king of the assholes-“
“why are you manipulating me? you say you break up with me then you cuddle me and call me babe, then you deny that you’re the king of assholes which you clearly are, just look at what you’re doing right now!”
“i’m not- you don’t want to come to my apartment because you said it smells like a man lives there, and i do-“
“oh, so i’m a bitch then? what the hell’s wrong with you, why would you even think that?” you sobbed.
“why are you yelling at me? i’m trying to talk to you about my feelings now because you never let me do that when we were dating-“
“that is not true-“ his jaw dropped in shock at your lies.
“so in a fucking liar now? is that what you think i am now? what, am i a liar or a bitch?” tears streamed down your face in large globs.
“no, babe, i would never call you either of those,” his eyebrows furrowed in worry as his heart beat hard in his chest with this newfound stress.
“no, it’s too late! you basically already called me those because you broke up with me,” you cried, “but apparently i’m just not good enough for you.”
“didn’t i tell you to stop talking down to yourself-“
“i’m so confused, are you breaking up with me or not? you’re giving me mixed signals!” you jerked your head away and wiped your eyes.
“fuck,” he groaned, “i’m not breaking up with you!”
“ohh, okay cool! so, kuna, are we going to shoko’s or maybe gojo’s so we can see him and geto? ugh, i also want to have a get together with just the girls and i- ooh, or maybe just the two of us can stay here for tonight and watch some movies?” you did air quotes, then giggled as you proudly strutted to your bathroom and closed the door on him after you grinned back at him and gave him a little wave.
sukuna could hear you still talking to him through the barrier of the thin walls, and he was in such confusion, although he couldn’t say he didn’t expect this. he sat on your soft bed, sunken into the mattress as he ran a hand through his hair, “what the hell just happened,” he groaned.
god, you were going to give him white hairs before he even turned thirty.
ib that one key and peele skit of andre and meegan breaking up
trying to write more in past tense, pls tell me if there’s any mistakes lol
send in requests pls i have two more weeks left of school then i’ll be writing all summer i think