yes yes, I love this concept of eliot's created boundaries that keep him and his desires contained. if he wants a sandwich he has to make it himself--both literally and figuratively. He may want the parker sandwich, but he is not allowed to have it because he respects Hardison. He may want the Hardison sandwich, and may want their bro hugs to last longer, but he respects Parker enough to not take something out from under her. And literally-- he would never take food from either of them, he has crafted his life so that he enjoys cooking for himself and doesn't rely on anyone else to do it for him. He's getting comfortable more and more with giving his food to them voluntarily, to nourish them. that's a new sensation, to, to feed people on purpose.
So yeah, you're right, there are two transgressions there when he thinks about taking their food, literally or figuratively. Those two transgressions must really freak him out. One is a big deal, but two? yowzers.
But in a marriage, what's mine is 50% yours, and the joy is in sharing. the joy is in having blanket permission to share, and in taking something from your partner in a low stakes situation. stealing fries. stealing socks. knowing they'll take something of yours, too, and this is a way to take care of each other. Hardison is ON PURPOSE poking Eliot to see how far he can push Eliot into this new communal sharing relationship. how mad would he really be? And Eliot bitches about it, sure, but he doesn't ever go too deep into it-- he's never that mad. He's flustered and indignant that Hardison isn't going to tacitly accept the rules Eliot laid down for himself, which is an inviolable part of bro friendships. Eliot already accepts that Parker takes what she wants, he's used to it. it's just Hardison he has to adjust to.
AND, AMAZINGLY, he starts participating in the stealing each other's stuff right from the get go, by lifting Hardison's soda at the top of the episode. So now Hardison has created a situation where Eliot engages in food flirtation (a critical component of flirtation), is getting used to "what's mine is theirs" (and then in Portland he gets used to "what's theirs is mine"), and also gets to take the three of them out for dinner on a date afterwards to continue to care.
Also, side note, food is so OT3 coded I could scream! in the French connection Parker's trying a spring roll and says, "the salsa Verde is a nice marriage with the spring rolls, but while totally yummy I just feel like--I should be feeling more." And Eliot, the chef, says, "why didn't I think of that," and adds bone marrow on the salsa Verde, so now it's a trio of flavors. The spring roll is parker, (five seconds before she says that she's trying to give Hardiso directions while under scrutiny so she says, "the spring rolls sneak up on you, the flavors come from...a secret passage in the back of my...palate." And hardison knows she's talking about an air duct.) The next added ingredient is salsa Verde, and the two are married-- Salsa Verde is Hardison, but she's still not feeling all she can feel, there's something missing. And then Eliot provides umami flavor with the bone marrow-- he gives them the soft, subtle strength inside his very bones to bring the dish together.
And then the next dish she eats from Eliot's kitchen (where hardison is in charge of supplies) is everything she could want, she eats it with enthusiasm and delight.