poetry

or whatever.

[poetry-orwtv]

Doubt

This opportunity

So much to gain

But more to lose

We say "let's try"

But what if it all goes to hell

Would've been worth it?

I don't want to lose what we have

But I don't want to miss what could be

I'm so confused

And really scared

I fear you expect more from me than I can give

And you will miss what you can't have

I wish I was normal

Maybe I just never learned

But by now I don't want to

It's just not for me

I tried

I failed

But that's alright

I will not hide my fear

I'll tell you

And we'll see

[poetry-orwtv]

Pieces - draft 2

You broke me into pieces

The price is mine to pay

We should be together

But I guess it's just a game

You and me forever

"Forget it" you would say.

[poetry-orwtv]

2016

That fatal night

Was all it took

For me to fall

And lose it all

[poetry-orwtv]

Lovely is your touch

But it confuses me much

It’s like a spiral

Downwards steady

My mind is spinning

My heart is heavy

[poetry-orwtv]

There still are things I’ll have to say

But it doesn’t have to end that way

It might be rough

And I’m so sorry

To burden you with all my worry

My uncertainty must be quite tough

But I’m sure we’ll find a way

To work through all that makes it hard

To try and never be apart

[poetry-orwtv]

My heart is heavy

When I realize

That even in the quiet night

When no one’s there to see us walk

No one’s here to hear our talk

Still I am frightened, paralysed

To hold your hand - paradise

Though I am scared that one might see

Who still thinks it’s blasphemy

Who sees not love

Merely sin

Who is not happy

Plainly grim

‘Cause all the pain we’ve seen before

Becomes a threat more and more

Since now we’re targets

Widely seen

Don’t want to hide

And will not do

But yet I’m scared

Not just for me

More for you

[poetry-orwtv]

Bye bye baby

Bye bye baby

I will miss you

But we’ll see again

And it will be so great

Like nothing ever happened

But everything evolved

And we’re in a better place than we’ve been before.

Bye bye baby

Until we see again.

[poetry-orwtv]

Insomnia

When night falls

I will not sleep

When sun rises

I will not wake

I’m alone in the dark

Waiting for a sign

For a sign that you still love me.

[poetry-orwtv]

I lost the grab on my life

Everything’s slipping away

And all I can do is watch

As I am losing everything

Everything I love and need

I try to hold on

It just quickens

I try to let go

It just lingers

And it hurts so bad

It burns my whole heart

As I watch it leave

As I say good bye

But it just stays

As I try to move on

But it keeps me here and rips me apart.

draft 2

[poetry-orwtv]

I lost the grab on my life

Everything’s slipping away

And all I can do is watch

As i am losing everything

Everything I love and need

I try to hold on

It just quickens

I try to let go

It just lingers

And it hurts so bad

It burns a hole in my heart

As I watch it leave

As I say good bye but it just stays

As I try to move on

But it keeps me here and rips me apart.

[poetry-orwtv]

Smile

There’s a smile I see

Is this smile for me?

Here’s a smile for you

You get one too.

You brought it back

Everyone else would just forget

But you won’t leave

If I’m still in grief

You brought it back

The smile to my face.

[poetry-orwtv]

Same love

I just want to love

But I’m afraid

It’s all the same love

But they only know hate

I’m wrong to love her

He’s wrong to love him

“Them” is not even a real thing

And when I’m happy

They make me sad

When I feel save

They make me scared

I can’t kiss her

‘cause god forbids

Can’t hold her hand

‘cause that’s a sin

But I know in the end

It’s all the same love

Inspired by the song "same love" by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis.

[poetry-orwtv]

Confession

I miss you

But I want to leave you

I love you

But I don't want to see you

You left me

But you came back

Suddenly it’s all the same

And we’re back again

Stuck in this game

And I’m so confused

'cause I don’t know what to do

Should I stay and risk

Or should I go and hurt

You say you’re sorry

But I heard that before

You say you’ll change

But I don’t believe you anymore

I love you so much

And it brings me great pain

I don’t know what to do

I don’t know myself without you

Should I stay and wait

Or should I go and regret

You are so sweet

And it makes me cry I don’t want to leave

But maybe it’s time to say good bye

[poetry-orwtv]

Stranger

I took a glimpse at you

And you smiled back

We shared a moment

Maybe two

I’m looking for you

everywhere

But can’t find you

anywhere

You’re long gone.

[poetry-orwtv]

You broke me into pieces

The price is mine to pay

We should be together

But I guess it’s just a game

You and I together

“Forget it” you would say.

[poetry-orwtv]

I needed you

To convey my feelings I have to say

I would’ve chosen an other way.

I searched for love

And fucked it up.

I looked for help

But then gave up.

I needed you

You weren’t there

I longed for love

But got despair.