After 13 years of this, it's still funny to me that detailing a full mental breakdown on tumblr is standard fare, but posting a nice selfie is a fraught decision.
this is the correct way around and every other social media site is wrong

PR's Tumblrdome
tumblr dot com
Misplaced Lens Cap

#extradirty

Origami Around
occasionally subtle
NASA
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Stranger Things
Today's Document

bliss lane
untitled

pixel skylines
Fai_Ryy

izzy's playlists!
One Nice Bug Per Day

gracie abrams
Not today Justin
we're not kids anymore.
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@pokemonjunge
After 13 years of this, it's still funny to me that detailing a full mental breakdown on tumblr is standard fare, but posting a nice selfie is a fraught decision.
this is the correct way around and every other social media site is wrong
how it all feels lately
the wii disc and the gamecube disc on the wii menu are dating btw
and they're both girls
Tja
Found here 🦋
Depending on context:
* well then.
* ain't nothing you can do about it.
* well how about that then.
* you brought that upon yourself dude.
* it is what it is.
* that was completely to be expected.
* told you so.
Je nach Kontext:
* tja.
* tja.
* tja.
* tja.
* tja.
* tja.
* tja.
I told a guy his total was 13.21 and he said “wish it were that year, could actually get some good music on the radio”
breaking news from the AP, our boys on the front have just sacked constantinople. take that, heretics. coming up next are the soothing lute dirges of bing crosby
*screams of a witch burning at the stake*
THOU ART CURRENTLY LISTENING TO
*Gregorian chanting*
13.21
*leper bell ringing*
HIGH MEDIAEVAL FM
*recording of John Lackland sobbing as he signs the Magna Carta*
WHENCE COMETH NAUGHT BUT LITURGIES
LITURGIES
AND MORE LITURGIES
*Templar knights praying out loud*
THIS ISN’T THY GRANDMOTHERES STATION
*Imagine Dragons - Radioactive starts playing*
just remembered i have a degree in sound engineering and can voice act
OH MY GOD THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER
every miku is canon…..
snakes really make you appreciate how gross mammals really are. squamates are very dry and clean
a bird is a kind of reptile that has learned to be yucky.
A whale is a kind of mammals that is trying not to be yucky
Take heed, my brethren!
“In truth, toilet paper is the parchment on which our butts write the memoirs of the things we’ve eaten.”
-Rainer Maria Rilke
it's good that I will never be a dog breeder, bc I would make the elephant dog. long borzoi snout, chunky pitbull body, ears of a papillon
why aren't we doing this?
you 🫵 you can join the breeding project.
I told my little nephew that I'd wave at his airplane when it flew over my house today, and he very calmly and politely explained that it wouldn't be possible to see me due to the limitations of human vision. I said he just had to squint real hard, and he took a deep breath and went into the toddler version of "see, what you're not understanding–"
it is actually haunting me that I forgot to wave. if he looked out the airplane window, he wouldn’t have seen me…..
Tonight on My Husband Doesn’t Know How to Baby Talk
“Ma’am, are you aware that these, right here are your hands? They belong to you. And you get to decide what happens with them. So when you use these hands to pull your binky out of your mouth that is not necessarily a dad problem. I’ll fix it obviously i just want you to acknowledge it’s not my fault”
Husband: ma’am it has been reported lately that you do in fact have tiny little toes and a little button nose, do you care to comment?
Penny Rose: Babbles in Baby
Husband: RIVETING!
Penny Rose: Does that High Pitched Baby Yell ™️
Husband: Let it out friend! Feel your feelings!
Me: Hehehe silly husband doesn’t know how to do baby talk
All of tumblr collectively at my husband:
Penny Rose: does a sad baby scream
Husband: you don’t even have to understand taxes yet! I can explain them but you’ve got several years before that’s relevant!
Penny Rose: wide eyes, staring at her father, almost intrigued
Husband: I lied to you Penny your mother does our taxes. Do you want to know about arbitration? I know all about arbitration.
THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND
yes he just walks around the house and talks to her like this
Penny Rose: Cooing as twinkle twinkle little star plays
Husband: Now Penny there is a lot of misinformation out there in the world and I hate to tell you this but the moon is in fact not made of cheese. That is a conspiracy theory pushed by Big Dairy.
????
Husband: Holds Penny Rose up to her reflection in the microwave
Husband: you see Penny Rose! This was the M. Night Shyamalan twist! You were mirror baby all along!
FYI this is how you get a Deals Warlock if you were wondering
I have follow up questions:
1) Did you participate in baby talk to make up for your husband's deficit, or did you also opt to speak to the Deals Warlock like a very tiny adult from babyhood?
1a) If you participated in baby talk with Penny, did she ever do any code switching with you while she was learning to talk (I mean, babyish talk back to you but fully formed adult like you share with us to Lawyer Dad)?
I didn't baby talk with her very much either! I think I squealed at her more than my husband did.
Something funny that has happened is that while she formally calls me Mama when she's answering me in passing she does call me "My Darling Love" and I don't know for sure but I think it's because I call her and her father "my loves" and her father calls me and her "darlings" and she's created a mash up 😂
So I'll say "okay penny it's time for bed" and I'll just hear "okay my darling love!" 😂
Everyone is always so so kind on this post but I do want to warn you all that this did in fact lead to an insanely verbal child, and if you choose that life you have to commit to that life.
Penny Rose is now 5 years old and she
1. Starts talking the moment she opens her eyes to the moment she passes out at night
2. Asks, and I am not exaggerating I counted, an average of 892 questions a day
3. Does not accept "I don't know" as an answer to said questions, will usually have a follow up question as to why you don't know OR a suggestion on how we can find out together
I pay for limitless data and have 709 Google tabs open on my phone at all times
at first i serioused.., and then i lol’d
mature content warnings on text posts of nothing but letters on a screen. . . remember when you were allowed to post like an adult and not be shamed or silenced for it
there is no acceptable explanation for this post being given a mature content warning outside of saying that you are an adult baby on the cyber nanny website!
They hate me for being a horny pervert but I have warriors defending my honour across the globe
anai akuei