Confessions Of A Recovering Wretch @pollymarduk - Tumblr Blog

corrucyst

someone: so what do you think is the solution to homelessness?

me, socialist:

kingjaffejoffer

“im getting old” starter pack

“this is way too sweet”

“they’re remaking that movie already????”

“my back hurts”

“wait, people get mad about that now?”

“I can’t eat that, its gone fuck my stomach up”

“hold on let me check my calendar first”

**turns on the radio** [groans]

thuggums

How dare you EXPOSE me at 5:18 am on this good Monday

zerofucksclub

jeffreydeanneganstrash-deactiva

The accuracy of this post tho.

captainsnoop-deactivated2020041

i honestly dont know what i would do if healthcare was free here. i feel like i’d go to the hospital and they’d put me in the government funded sickness scanner and they’d be like “holy fuck dude, you got like, syndromes and shit. how are you even walking around right now” and i’d be like “i dunno, i didn’t wanna bother anybody about it”

gfwayu

i hate how reward systems never work for me like i can’t just say “if i finish this assignment i can have a cookie” bc my brain is like “…..or u could just have one right now” and i can’t argue with that logic

truestoriesaboutme

Self-imposed deadlines don’t work either because I know the guy who set them and he’s full of shit

sixpenceee

Just like cats or dogs, spiders also have claws attached to the paws, but in their case, legs also work as ears and nose picking up subtle changes in the air to hear and recognize smells. (Source)