someone: so what do you think is the solution to homelessness?
me, socialist:

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cherry valley forever
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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@pollymarduk
someone: so what do you think is the solution to homelessness?
me, socialist:
“im getting old” starter pack
“this is way too sweet”
“they’re remaking that movie already????”
“my back hurts”
“wait, people get mad about that now?”
“I can’t eat that, its gone fuck my stomach up”
“hold on let me check my calendar first”
**turns on the radio** [groans]
How dare you EXPOSE me at 5:18 am on this good Monday
The accuracy of this post tho.
i honestly dont know what i would do if healthcare was free here. i feel like i’d go to the hospital and they’d put me in the government funded sickness scanner and they’d be like “holy fuck dude, you got like, syndromes and shit. how are you even walking around right now” and i’d be like “i dunno, i didn’t wanna bother anybody about it”
i hate how reward systems never work for me like i can’t just say “if i finish this assignment i can have a cookie” bc my brain is like “…..or u could just have one right now” and i can’t argue with that logic
Self-imposed deadlines don’t work either because I know the guy who set them and he’s full of shit
Just like cats or dogs, spiders also have claws attached to the paws, but in their case, legs also work as ears and nose picking up subtle changes in the air to hear and recognize smells. (Source)
Jeff Goldblum ©Dylan Coulter // ShortList
Donald Glover | photos by Austin Hargrave
He’s looking even better and better with age. Like hey handsome! <3
gabriel lost then won twice
this is so cute
Girls are amazing
Girls are amazing
Girls are amazing
Girls are amazing
Girls are amazing
Girls are amazing
Girls are amazing
Girls are amazing
Girls are amazing
And this absolutely includes trans girls pass it on
sense of humor: celebrities tweeting nonsensical phrases and/or straight up keysmashes
lets not forget this gem
cant believe we’re leaving out this
and more importantly this
interesting how you forgot
and
ok but
and
hmmm and perhaps
and these ones too
I’m not sure how you managed to forget this gem:
excuse me but:
where would we be withour kermit
oh my gdO CAN YOU DRAW GODZILLA MOMMA CARRYING LIKE A HUNDRED LIZARD BABIES ON HER BACK FOR TAKE YOUR CHILD (lizard) TO WORK DAY
oh SHOOT well i cant swing 100 but how bout
If I don’t always reblog this assume I am dead
This is awesome!
This will never not be the most adorable thing ever!
her eat bug