Rambles and Tangents @pool-1492 - Tumblr Blog

Posts

willowcrowned

just learned that coke as in coca-cola as in the famous carbonated soda is canon in star wars and frankly I am upset

willowcrowned

@jetiisse pointed out that the existence of Coca Cola in Star Wars implies the existence of real, actual, honest-to-god space cocaine, which means that not only does spice (fake space cocaine) exist, but it is in direct competition with coke (real space cocaine)

willowcrowned

of all the countless products to make canon for the advertising deals, they had to choose the one that implied the existence of actual cocaine in Star Wars

i-draws-dinosaurs

I feel like everyone need to be aware that there is also diet coke:

and sprite:

and they’re in there cause they serve the drinks at galaxy’s edge so they made them a part of star wars.

which I think is the funniest thing to happen to star wars canon since they decided darth vader’s lightsaber can change lengths because of special effects inconsistencies in the original movies.

altospaceangel

“Disneyland insisting that Star Wars land is canon accidentally made cocaine canon” is perhaps the funniest sentence in existence

knightoflodis

These bottles slap so hard though. I would love to have like a functioning one to use as a water bottle

jooshthepunished-deactivated202

I have good news and bad news

Amazon.com: Coca Cola Star Wars Galaxy's Edge Limited Edition DisneyLand Single Bottle : Toys & Games

sliversoakley2-deactivated20210

phantom-rin

THE FUCKING ENDING

cherrycreamfairy

Turn on the sound please it's so much better lmao

programmerhumour

Dont know if this has been posted here.

draconic-cuddles

God, I shouldn’t have brought up game consoles being cheaper as an example of how ludicrously overpriced iPhones are, because holy shit, it’s causing people to miss the point I was actually trying to make so fucking hard.

Did I fucking ask for “um well actually game companies are scummy too” arguments in my inbox?

pool-1492

I don't think they realise how many dick moves your business would would have to make for Sony to seem consumer friendly by comparison.

vvitchella

Everyone, meet my jar of jars. His name is Jar Jar.

lethalbutterfly

When you shake it, jar jar clinks.

urmyghostbitch-deactivated20200

IVE ONLY SEEN THIS IN SCREENSHOTS

memesandlaughs

Memes And Laughs

byjove

Me: *Removes my cat from my lap to do something else.*

My cat: Father is...evil? Father is unyielding? Father is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.

cryoverkiltmilk

The spiritual successor to Miette

manicgoblinnightmarewoman

Might I also add

shydestinybread

May i add the piece from artist Verbal Vomit

unyanizedcatboys

Glad to see we’re all in agreement that cats talk like disparaged victorian children

explorerrowan

I am so incredibly glad we finally moved on from "i can has". Cats are clearly smart enough for advanced sentence structure and dumb enough to draw entirely incorrect conclusions about what they're talking about.

dualclock

My cat, banging the cabnet door over and over and over: bang bang bang

Me: you will not earn what you desire by banging the cabinet door.

My cat: This is a test of wills, is it not? We shall see if your ability to put up with my incessant banging outlasts my eternal lust for snackie treats. Years of conditioning have hardened me for this purpose. bang bang bang

Me: ksst!

My cat, throwing herself to the ground like she's been shot: Oh! Oh I have been assailed in my own home! Have mercy, have pity! Surely in the cruel darkness of your heart there is some mote of goodness that might stay your hand! Do not strike me, I pray you!

Me: ok

My cat, after waiting about 3 minutes: bang bang bang

Can haz snackytreat

(source)

I’M OUT

love the implication here that just by saying a scientific formula you cause something to happen like an arcane incantation

pool-1492

The funny part for me is that's exactly how magic works in the Lovecraft mythos

spacedewey

I guess this is how I’m processing what we’re all going through right now. I had the stray thought, “What is Spider-Man doing during all this?” and this happened. On the one hand, it’s kinda sloppy and inconsistent, but on the other hand, I had the idea Sunday night and I’m posting this Wednesday night. 5 color pages in 4 nights is pretty good work. Anyway. Hope everyone’s safe out there.

elidyce

This is brilliant and I love it.

pool-1492

I would like a story where the old Sinister Six became anti-heroes temporarily to help with disaster relief and confuse the hell out of Spider-Man and his allies until they give up and just say "well this is life now" until quarantine ends.

whitepeopletwitter

nunyabizni

I thought it was just 4 of them

theindependentconservative

Citations plz so we know who to vote tf out.

dragongyrlwren

I’m sorry what now?

Also, I know insider trading is a no no, but I cannot remember what exactly it means to commit such an act.

pool-1492

It basically means they were using information not accesible to the public to influence their stock trades. There are other specifics that involve specific legal definitions but I can't recall them at the moment.

betterbemeta

i just remembered the terrible stupid fact that in warhammer 40k, there may be no cows in the grim dark future… but there are deer. they have to be deer. the awful Space Wolves have a planet with deer on it, so they can eat raw venison. the most populous large land mammal on current earth is extinct. but wild deer, aren’t. they somehow survived the apocalypse-like conditions of the age of strife on Earth, or else the Emperor (or someone else) had a sample of deer DNA and cloned some back into existence… only to put them on a terrible distant planet so some artificially uncivilized people can romp around in the woods killing each other when really they just exist so some space marines can select the biggest bullies out of the no-plumbing barbarian space orgy

(and I am going to assume they are mundane earth-type deer, and not some alien creature that are merely called “deer”…)

the deer are there just to put comically infinite amounts of venison on the table for the Space Wolves chapter of Space Marines. Now, venison can be delicious when prepared well, but it’s not fatty and it’s not always flavorful on its own because of that. it’s kind of gamey and has a kind of flat livery taste, even when perfectly cooked. It sometimes needs lots of fats and seasoning to make it truly delicious. not only do I doubt the Space Wolves season their food, they sometimes just eat the meat raw, and I doubt when they eat prepared food they use any butter or anything to cook the stuff nicely… which would require milk, and thus possibly cows or goats.

deer survived all odds to exist in Warhammer 40k for the sole purpose to be badly eaten by space marines in the future. I hate this knowledge. Why did I learn this knowledge? I regret this knowledge.

pool-1492

If I remember right the basic backstory of Fenris was that a bunch of dumbasses teraformed it and manipulated the climate and ecosystem to turn it into a fantasy world for rich humans who were a bit too into Norse mythology. So when the Age of Strife happened the people living there were essentially left to their own devices and lore, hence Leman Russ being the Wolf King and the Space Wolf Librarians communing with Fenrisian nature spirits. They literally had nothing else left for them from Terra.

mizar113

h8andsalt

Should include how to get a line up high and some basic knots. I can’t find an illustration for how to place line but-

just-shower-thoughts

Building a treehouse is the biggest insult to a tree. “I killed your friend, here hold him.”

unclebeanbag

“Friend”

Its more of I killed a potential enemy. Hold his dismembered corpse in victory.

ulysseus

Plants don’t wage war

unclebeanbag

Ever heard of blackberries?

Yes, plants do wage war

kasaron

Mint and strawberries, too. They need to be quarantined or they will kill basically everything else.

systlin

I planted mint in the ground 2 years ago.

It’s currently fighting a bitter battle to the death against the raspberries attempting to invade from the east while trying to annex the patio.

Could go either way at this point TBH. Unless, of course, I take a shovel and the blowtorch out there and battle both back to within their original boundaries.

And anyone wondering if a blowtorch is overkill for weeding back mint has never actually planted mint.

moirakatson

This post did not go where I expected it to.

deathbeforednf

Our garden plot at my childhood home slowly got overrun by wild blackberries after we stopped managing it while my sister and I were in nursing school. And by overrun I mean it was like a 4 foot tall thicket of wild blackberries. It hadn’t been touched by humans in at least 4 years. I started the ultimately futile task of trying to clear this plot with a machete and discovered to my amazement a patch of mint several feet across underneath the canopy of blackberry, still fighting the good fight all those years later.

Ultimately it took two jars of homemade napalm and some creative fire placement to clear that patch but I damn sure saved that patch of mint. It earned the right to be there.

norseminuteman

Yall mother fuckers don’t even talk unless you’ve had to wage war on kudzu (it’s an ivy strain directly from Hell) that shit doesn’t just wage war with other plants, it wages war with all living things on planet earth. It’s some gnarly ass Blood for the Blood God, Chlorophyll for the Chlorophyll Throne demon weed.

breadgunner-deactivated20181003

Can second the comments of Kudzu.

I forget where I read it but there’s this one tree that creates an extremely flammable substance that’s in both the bark and leaves. Dead trees become torches and crushed up leaves become dust-incendiary, all while the plant’s seeds are Giant Redwood levels of resilient to open flame. IE it has a goddamn scorched earth policy. It’s even more badass than plants that use toxins to starve other plants.

booksandwildthings

I’d like to third the comments on Kudzu. These are the battlefields:

See those weird pillars? Those were trees. See that strange lump in the middle? That was a house. Everything green you see in this photo is kudzu.

nevercure

Kudzu is an apocalyptic nightmare

They smother every other living plant to death

Those trees under there are dead, they can’t get sunlight. Kudzu takes over and steals everything from these trees, and becomes them. It’s creepy as hell. These plants are basically straight out of a horror novelist’s wet dream tbh.

The bodies of everything the kudzu has slain.

What used to be a house

Someone attempting to drive a four wheeler through it, to give you scale

It’s an ornamental plant kept in check in china, but was introduced to north america where it immediately went rampant and began to spread incredibly fast like a disease, destroying everything in its wake

The ONLY thing that has stopped this curse from engulfing the united states is goats. Apparently goats love this stuff like no tomorrow. Everywhere we find it now, we just bring a horde of goats to cut it down. Everything is fine…. for now.

nevercure

Kudzu is on time magazine’s top 10 invasive species to look out for.

This little buddy doing his part

nevercure

Not to keep spamming this post but

“the growth of kudzu as it became a “structural parasite” of the South,[7] enveloping entire structures when untreated[11] and often referred to as “the vine that ate the South”.[13]”

“It has been spreading rapidly in the southern U.S., “easily outpacing the use of herbicide spraying and mowing, as well increasing the costs of these controls by $6 million annually”.[2]“

yall it’s been estimated this plant consumes 600 kilometers of the united states every year

it’s been suggested that we just start eating it to make it go away

kiwilemonteanonsense

Adding to the spam: yes, kudzu IS edible. In fact, all parts of it but the vine are edible. The leaves are supposedly great in salads or baked into quiche. The flowers supposedly are great in jam. The roots… Well, if you know how to cook other root vegetables, you know what to do with kudzu root. Feed this stuff to your livestock and cook it.

Eat it before it eats your house.

taylortut

y’all know that john mulaney quote “the things crazy people say mean nothing to them but everything to me?”

every time i hear that quote, i think about how i got this light-up pen

taylortut

i got this pen four years ago when i was working as a barista at starbucks. I was on the registers and taking the order of this woman, who ordered a nonfat latte, because she was “watching her weight”

so this guy behind her, whom no one was talking to, for some fucking reason says “wathing your weight? but what about the wait for your watch?“ (which is a completely unhinged response. like just complete Mad Hatter nonsense)

anyway this lady gets really uncomfortable and of the five people (me, him, her, the other checker, and the customer at the other register) who were now sucked into the uncomfortable silence, i decided that i should alleviate the tension by saying “you can’t wait for a watch; you don’t have the time”

and then he said “oh, quick girl!”, gave me that pen, got out of line, and left without ordering anything

patron-saint-of-smart-asses-dea

You pleased a mad fae trickster

urbanfantasyinspiration

You probably saved everyone in that coffe shop from a terrible yet whimsical death

heatandapathy

Quick question, op. Did he happen to have white hair, a purple suit and a walking stick or some sort?

shitpostinguniverse

absolutely-mendokusai-deactivat

How do you carry this to the checkout? How do you fit this in your car? You’ll need a U-Haul to get it home.

pool-1492

You're either gonna need a pickup bed or a roof rack and a LOT of paracord to strap it down. Thread it through the handles in the box while you're strapping it down, and probably make a couple more with a pocket knife or something. Also tape up the actual openings of the box to be extra safe since cardboard is still cardboard. The store will probably lend you some if you need it but if you're buying one of these you probably have a roll of duct tape handy in a tool box or something. That should do you fine on most regular roads till you get home for a party that the gods themselves would remember. Have fun.

Sincerely,

Florida Man