Just Your Average Spam Account

Pardon the trash

[one-time-i-dreamt]

Mary from the Bible was a witch and she had an affair while engaged to Abraham and she found out she was pregnant with Jesus so, she enchanted a feather and put it inside Abraham’s pillow so that when he slept, an angel would tell him God did the do and Mary wasn’t a cheater, and because Mary was a witch, Jesus also had powers and that’s how he did the miracles. One day Abraham found out the truth about Mary being a witch, so he asked her to make their family rich. When she said that it wasn’t possible for her to do that, he turned her in, but the church didn’t believe him so they stoned him to death.

[one-time-i-dreamt]

People replying to this correcting the information in the post please realize that this was somebody’s dream and doesn’t have to make sense or follow any canon

[reyarey]

I love the concept of referring to details of the bible as canon.

[achromic-red-dreams-doze-angrily]

…thats what the word “canon” refers to?? Like, the academic term is Biblical Canon. That’s how fandom got the word

[one-time-i-dreamt]

That’s why I called it canon! Jesus stans pls read carefully, everyone else also please read carefully!

[the-og-plant]

I’m only calling Christians Jesus stans now. Sorry, I don’t make the rules I only enforce them

[rainydaysrnevergrey-deactivated]

my favorite fanfic has got to be davinci code or the book of mormon. also, that fan edit that created the church of england was pretty neat too

[makingflowerscreek]

Theatre kid; Yeah, I’ve been going to ballet and tap classes since I was a fetus and I got the lead in the last three shows I’ve been in and my aunt is Idina Menzel. Anyway, what shows have you been in?

Me, with my zero ounce of talent but obsession with musical theatre;

[tikkety-tok]

[jads-abum-rat]

[vespertineflora]

[audio transcript]

Woman: He’s fine. He misses you.

Man: Give him my love.

Woman: Will do. 

[woman looks at ridiculous oversized bird]

Woman: SQUAWK

Bird: SQUAWK

THE END

[stability]

Good to know shitposting has been around since the inception of cinema

[cadaver-cutie-deactivated202301]

Oh shitposting existed a long time before that

[prsephonies-deactivated20200815]

[pankhearst]

the muppets, 1x01: “Pig Girls Don’t Cry.”

[graphitetroll]

Why did they make me watch Fozzy Bear experience a micro aggression

[whitepeopletwitter]

[profeminist]

“No more diets, only riots”

- grittyphilly

[saltykingsalty]

ALL HAIL GRITTY

[madladjacob-deactivated20200105]

Meanwhile Tom Holland, an intellectual:

[secondclassvines]

[dankmemeuniversity]

[myothertardisisonthemun]

I sent a letter today - something I haven’t done for years

It’s full of plastic bread clips

It’s for Science

[myothertardisisonthemun]

At the risk of loosing some mystery, I think I should add some context:

There’s this website-I mean, scientific organization called the Holotypic Occlupanid Reasurch Group.

They are a group of abiologists who study and classify Bread clips.

I found a species that has not yet been described:

Yay for citizen science 👍

[numberlover1729]

wtf?

[myothertardisisonthemun]

Update:

[meckamecha]

Apparently HORG is widely appreciated by pediatricians since knowing exactly what kind of Occlupanid a child may have swallowed makes removing it safely much easier

[gallusrostromegalus]

HOLY SHIT HORG IS BACK ON MY DASH!!! Also I’m so glad that they help pediatricians, that’s very nice.

[shitacademicswrite]

I want to know all about this, and also what kingdom of taxonomy Occlupanids are in. Also I just got the meaning of Occlupanid.

occlu–to close  pan–bread Occlupanid = a specimen of “bread-closers” 

EDIT: I am now reading their website, and:

Class Occlupanida (Occlu=to close, pan= bread) are placed under the Kingdom Microsynthera, of the Phylum Plasticae. Occlupanids share phylum Plasticae with “45” record holders, plastic juice caps, and other often ignored small plastic objects.

microsynthera would be small manmade items. this implies a kingdom macrosynthera, of larger manmade items. i want to see a full taxonomic tree. Also, I want to say that the difference between macro and micro is whether it’s bigger or smaller than a breadbox, but based on the above, small soda bottles would be macro, so probably not, sadly.

[shitacademicswrite]

I… may have sent HORG an email.

I am fucking loving this

[mangy-mongrel]

@copperbadge I don’t know why but this seems like it would be up your alley?

[copperbadge]

Oh man I love this. These people are doing important work of inestimable value and I support HORG 100%. 

[chronically--cute]

SO MY FRIEND FOUND A REALLY CREEPY ARTIST’S MANNEQUIN

BUT THEN IT GOT WEIRD

SEND HELP

[bogleech]

is this for real an artists mannequin or is it some kind of Figma figure of an anime villain that is also based on an artists mannequin

[dankmemeuniversity]

[carpediemcarla]

This is AMAZING! 😍

[papa-mint]

[chrome-blade]

HOW???

[victini]

You can control white people by giving them cheese

[0ndo]

cheese is so good tho

[victini]

I got one

[foulserpent]

climate change deniers when it snows or is cold