"time heals all wounds" WRONG. time is chasing me with a knife
Accurate as I sit here and watch Dr Who.
noise dept.
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Mike Driver
DEAR READER
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shark vs the universe

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Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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@theartofmadeline
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Origami Around
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@populationpensive
"time heals all wounds" WRONG. time is chasing me with a knife
Accurate as I sit here and watch Dr Who.
Sometimes I get trauma admits that aren’t intubated and sometimes they are high as a kite from the dilaudid PCA I give them.
Truly a delightful thing to experience.
Year 7
This is, admittedly a month belated. In March, I officially entered into year 7 of clinical practice as a PA. Looking back at past reflections, it is always interesting to see what sort of headspace I was in.
New things for me: more administrative duties related to several parts of my department & having to choose between the PANRE-LA or the normal PANRE.
I chose the PANRE-LA and started my questions in January.
I really had a hard time with this, mainly because I feelt like even thought the longitudinal assessment is more in line with adult learning theory and better supports continuing education, I still feel like I have to sit for a 5 hour exam.
In all fairness, the boards recertification as a PA is absolute shit unless you work in primary care. I haven't cared for a kid in 5 years. Pediatric exanthems? LOL.
Working in adult critical care since 2021, there isn't a ton of detailed stuff related to my specialty. Hence copping out and just doing the LA. Why add stress to my life when I can just do the longitudinal assessment and be done with.
This year, I have mentoring a new hire PA staight out of school. We have a lot of similar interests and a similar personality. We've gotten coffee outside of work and just hang out. She is a reminder of how far I've come. In the ever famous words of Lorde, "it feels so scary gettin' old."
I definitely have a comfort level with my knowledge and that is the kind of thing that can get a little tricky at times. I don't want to get into a rut where I assume I know things.
I am doing a little more hyperbaric medicine and have a conference in Mexico in May. Going with some work people - should be a good time. :-D
Overall, I feel pretty satisfied where I have come and where I am going. Critical care is still an emotional toll. It has impacted my health negatively and I've needed to prioritize self care. A surgeon buddy of mine and I will go to yoga a few times a month --that's been helpful. Though, I think I am mostly just hoping I am putting in good cosmic karma for my next life where I have a stress free job (or none at all) and just paint and make music. :-D
But, in all seriousness, I don't regret a single thing about pursuing PA school and becoming a PA-C. Best life decision I have ever made besides marrying Mr Poppen and adopting our fur children.
02.19.2023
tw patient death
Keep reading
Unfortunately, this feeling will come again. It’s a strange place to be in - having the technology and resources available to literally throw a hail Mary in the name of simply living but knowing that, in certain situations, those efforts are fruitless.
I can honestly say in my 4 years of medical practice that my colleagues and I have done things so fruitless to avoid the appearance that we “didn’t care” or “didn’t try”. Even if I’ve discussed with family the shear fruitlessness of an intervention. And trust me, even when I gently but firmly educate about the truth of a situation, I’ve been told once or twice that I’m “giving up” on their loved one.
I absolutely HATE the phrase - giving up.
No.
There is a big difference between doing something FOR a patient and doing something TO a patient. The biggest regrets I have in my medical practice are situations in which we put people through something we knew they could not tolerate and they died suffering.
We took oaths to DO. NO. HARM. Yes, preserve life, but only in so far as it will do no harm. Every patient of mine that has been denied a death with dignity lingers with me because I felt I let them down in this way.
So how do we move on?
I think we need to look at each patient that faces this and think about what we did as individuals to preserve that dignity. Whether is was giving pain medication or strongly advocating with their families - we have to hold on to those things to keep sane.
From the Archives: Do No Harm
must've been something in the water...
You know when someone from your past pops up in your head and the thought of them came from absolutely nowhere. You’re sitting there, minding your own business, when all of a sudden this person emerges. You might not have even thought of them for several years.
This happened to me today, when I randomly thought of the therapist that I used to have who helped me significantly when I was in the process of changing from teaching to becoming a physician assistant. This individual was instrumental and helping me realize my potential and calm my excessively negative self talk.
Like any normal human, I googled her and regrettably found out that she passed away two years ago. It’s strange how these people pop up and even stranger still that they could be so easily forgotten. I don’t think I have thought about her for at least eight years probably closer to a decade.
But for whatever reason, I did think of her today. And I’m reminded of how lucky I was to cross paths with her when I did. It made all the difference in my life. 
Hyperbaric Medicine (HBO)
I'm sorry, what is that?
I have a side hustle as a hyperbaric medicine provider and I am here to give you the down and dirty!
Sometimes referred to as HBO (hyperbaric oxygen), hyperbaric or dive medicine is a specialty that utilizes oxygen at high pressure to treat a variety of conditions, primarily things involving wounds. We place a patient in a chamber, deliver 100% oxygen to them, pressurize the chamber, and keep them in there for about 120 minutes. Since oxygen is the number one thing you need to heal a wound, we use a lot of it to try and speed up the process.
From the archives: HBOT
Tom Felton on Broadway's debut
Honestly, this is a form of self care. I didn't realize it until later in life but it is.
my daily affirmation as an author
HA I should start putting this on my AO3 stories.
New Year, New Me?
2025 was.... a year. I, like many people, found myself a tad overwhelmed with the events around the world and here in the US.
2026 seems to be shaping up similarly with its bullshit.
I am still in the ICU, though I am doing more HBOT these days. I have an administrative gig as well which added some new responsibilities. One of those tasks was formalizing our fellowship curriculum as our program seeks accreditation. That teaching degree is coming in handy!
I am fast approaching 7 years as a PA-C. I registered for the PANRE-LA and that was just...mind boggling. It my head it was further off. I suppose it isn't.
I'm in a relatively comfortable place in my career. I know what I don't know and I know what I know. I have great professional relationships and my work is fulfilling.
I will say that I haven't done a great job of dealing with all that I compartmentalize from work. I see a lot of sad, depressing shit. I can compartmentalize that VERY well. Unpacking those boxes later is a little problematic. I am hoping this year I will appreciate the process of unpacking so that it positively impacts my health and life.
"Was this book good or was I deeply 19 when I read it:" an investigative journalism series
“Was this book bad or was I simply lacking enough life experience to appreciate the narrative when I read it” : an award-winning followup
Tom Felton is here to talk Harry Potter and the Cursed Child tonight! 📷 Todd Owyoung
My current obsession
They recorded tinnitus? It's a physical thing?????
Lola De La Mata speaks to Patrick Clarke about how her experience with severe tinnitus and vertigo fed into her new album Oceans On Azimuth
Source
Transcript:
The most mind-blowing moment, not only for De La Mata but the scientists too, came when they managed to actually record the sounds that she heard in her ears – which now appear as ‘Left Ear’ and ‘Right Ear’ which begin sides A and B on the album – and in doing so opened up questions about the nature of tinnitus itself. “The NHS definition is that it’s a phantom sound that your brain is creating, that it isn’t something ‘real’, so you should try to ignore it.” By having De La Mata place her ear into an anechoic chamber, with an ultra-sensitive microphone perched in her ear canal, they were able to provide significant evidence to the contrary. “After the first recording of it, it was ‘There’s no way, this isn’t possible.’” They tried again with her breath held, and again with her tensing her ears, and again with other members of staff, but each time it became apparent that yes, the noises De La Mata hears are seemingly something physical.
HOLY SHIT THAT'S WHAT I HEAR ALL DAY
Mine sounds a little different, but it's really interesting to see people's reactions.
Wow. Just wow. Science is badass.
I think one of the most damaging ideologies towards children is the conviction that having children isn’t a calling but a moral obligation.
Not to be a crazy radical or anything, but children deserve to be deeply wanted by their parents.
Children shouldn’t be a “stage” in life that everyone is obligated to fulfill; childrearing is not for everyone. More importantly, children shouldn’t be state-enforced punishments for “irresponsible” sexual behavior.
Children are people with thoughts and feelings just like the rest of us. They are conscious of the way people treat them. And they can certainly tell when they are unwanted and/or resented.
This. Children are only infants for a year, and only toddlers for couple of years after that. Before you know it, they are inquisitive school kids, challenging teens and independent adults.
They will be in your life long after you are legally responsible for them.
But this hashtag tho says it all:
Kids aren’t just kids. Choosing to be a parent is choosing to be a PEOPLE person.