space frog

i came to earth by accident and i don't know how to get back home to my fellow space frogs, so I'll just stay here and occasionally come out when it rains

[possessedbagel]

we are all different, and yet the same

[possessedbagel]

"wild heart, be brave"

The more I talk to people in this world, the more I realise how big and brave my heart is. I see how people are drunk in lust and greed, I also see the hurt under someone's voice, I see their scars, I see why they don't put their heart out to the world anymore, but I also realise how insane I am to carry mine in my hands, dripping red with love and painting the path red with how much love I have in my heart.

I've been hurt, broken, ruined again and again, my heart has pained under my chest endlessly, yet I don't understand what it is that makes me love again and again, I don't want to hide it, I want it to be loved, by me, by them. I try to give my love to people, even if I get hurt. I try to open up to people even if it leads to nothing decent. Why? Why does my heart love so much, am I brave or just foolish?

[possessedbagel]

the fwog has spoken

[possessedbagel]

I love to make playlists. Music is very important to me in many ways, the topmost being that it is the only thing I have in those sleepless nights, it's the only way I can express what I feel when I'm short of words, music is the only thing that understands me when I don't understand myself.

When I make a playlist, I create the sequence of songs in a way that tells you a story, I handpick each song in a way that the transition to the next song is just smooth and perfect. I want to tell you a story, when I make a playlist, I want people to listen to it before they sleep, I want them to listen to it in silence, I want them to pay attention to the lyrics, the instrumentals, the melodies, the transition, I want them to feel the environment I virtually curated in that playlist, I want them to feel like they're in a movie and they're the main character and my playlist is their background score, I want them to listen to it, this is how important music is to me, this is how important making playlists is for me, I live because of music, I live to share that music with you, and I want you to understand that.

[possessedbagel]

you showed me at last my worth, I'm nothing, an empty vessel, broken. You would rather choose an illusion over me, you would rather live a lie than to tell me the truth, and the worst part is, you do everything for the lie that you never did for the truth. I'm just a part of some sick twisted game that you're pulling the strings of, I don't know what you want from me, I don't know what piece I play in your game, all I know is I love you, all I know is that that will be my truth till my last breath.

[possessedbagel]

heaven's nothing but a barren land, for all gods are sinners too, what greater sin than creating a world full of humans, such torment. What greater punishment than cursing us with consciousness, a mind, a heart, only for it to be our biggest enemy. Which God was sinful enough to cast this wrath of life upon us, burdening us with this humanness, this violent humanity. Should I be grateful that I've been granted life, or that one day it would be taken?

[possessedbagel]

"sing me a song that you like, you can bet I'll know every line" - Finneas Baird O'connel- Blood harmony

I remember the first time you told me your favourite song, to me, it felt like you shared a piece of your heart with me. I remember how excited you were when we talked about it that night. I'll recite the lyrics of that song in my heart till it beats for the last time, for you are my song, your words the lyrics, your heartbeats the background. It breaks my heart that you didn't keep the playlist I made you, I spent many breaths picking the songs that spoke what I couldn't, choosing the perfect set of words for you, it's okay, maybe it's enough that you know I love you, you know, right?

[possessedbagel]

is there hope for people like us? on this damned, poisoned earth, will I be loved? After all the pain and misery, will I be comforted? will I be touched, will I be looked at? in this damned, lonely earth, will I be loved, by you, just you?

[possessedbagel]

and when my time comes, I'll lay alone on my death bed, my heart will beat one last time with your name, untouched still. God is human, in the way that she makes errors too, just as she did when she put me here, in a world where love is forgotten, abused, feared. Where did I come from? how am I supposed to be this world when my heart pains with how much love it has in it, how am I supposed to be one of them, when all they know is an illusion, and all I know is love.

[possessedbagel]

foolish of me to teach you how to love, how could I forget that I don't deserve what I give

[possessedbagel]

my body is a bowl of blood with cracks and bruises, you fix me up with gold plated kisses and make me feel okay

[possessedbagel]

love me and make my heart sin, for in all of heaven I couldn't find you, let me be dragged through the doors of hell, let me beg satan to burn me next to you

[possessedbagel]

I don't think I'll ever get the love I deserve, my heart is just too full of it, bleeding love on everything I touch, painting it red with my name and yet it remains untouched, unseen, unwanted. My heart will die cold and innocent as an infant, for my sickness will be the lack of love.

[possessedbagel]

today im grateful that I got to experience listening to a new album with rain and thunders and a dark room, that for those fifty minutes i felt at peace, focussed and relaxed, and had no background noises in my head.

[possessedbagel]

here's a sunflower for anyone who's not okay today 🌻

i love u all my lil B's 🐝

[possessedbagel]

you know why I feel unmotivated to study? my books aren't some ancient hard cover diamond engraved books with old withered pages, annotations made generations ago with a quill, maybe a dead flower between the pages, filled with forbidden knowledge, casts and runes and spells to harness dark magic and potions made from poisonous herbs and seeds.

am i a witch

[possessedbagel]

I was re-watching Harry Potter and the goblet of fire last night, and you know what, I would like to have a dragon of my own, even just a small one, I liked the Welsh green.

Please give me a small little flame throwing dragon i will feed your owl