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I can't find a heluvaboss fic on AO3. It had Andrealphus trap Stolas in his Eldritch form and Blitzo and co. try to get him to turn back, it had a Snow Queen by Hans Chirstian Anderson vibe. Does anyone know what one I'm talking about?

#stolitz #ao3 #stolas

Pen drawing of Arthur, Jon, and The King in Yellow from Malevolent

#arthur lester #malevolent #the king in yellow #jondoe

I read so much fanfiction, like an embarrassing amount of fanfiction. And so much of it is actually very good?? Great even? Like ao3 is filled with thousands of talented writers and they just post stuff for free because they are passionate about it? You all are amazing

#tma #good omens #fanfic #fanfiction

Jkr saying trans people somehow invalidate her gender is the same logic when homophobes say that gay marriage invalidates their marriage.

#fuck jk rowling #fuck jkr tho #harry potter #jk rowling

Five from the Umbrella Academy is what we wanted Artemis Fowl in the movie to be like except less athletic

#number five #the umbrella academy #artemis fowl

Why is it that in so many fics Anathema is so manipulative?? She'll try to set up Crowley and Aziraphale through deception and push boundaries and she never gets called on it??? I don't think this is true to her character and it doesn't matter if they belong together its a shitty thing to do

#anathema #good omens #crowley #aziraphale #fanfic

If Aziraphale were played by a woman the best choice would be Sandi Toskvig

I am right, you know that I am right, and I will not be accepting any criticism good day.

#good omens #aziraphale #sandi toksvig

glacierlakes

25-40 yr old white guys with big beards are either pro-military right wing douchebags or microbrew hipster douchebags and the only difference is what kind of glasses theyre wearing

glacierlakes

bubbleflexe-deactivated20190719

They’re supposed to eat their lunch w/o getting caught lol

tommyboy2007-deactivated2020051

Why can’t American shows be this great

springwithcherrytrees

Girl with the glasses is a real one

sandandglass

lilobears

safitheartist

For context: This guy is a ex cop who is there to expose the fact that police heavily manipulate these statistics to cover up the truth. He aint a bad person who is lying, he is a good person who is pointing out that the police is lying.

lovethisblogstill

Online dating anxiety

I am on some online dating sites, and I am terrified if going on dates. I've been on some and they went fine but now I just feel overwhelmed at the thought of replying and meeting someone. Annnnnny advice? Should I take a break for a while, push through it? I have trouble willing myself to read messages its so bad right now. Queer girl, if it matters

#dating #okcupid #queerdating #lesbiananxiety #pleasehelpImseriouslylonely #datinganxiety #online dating

Look, I know the 'Did you put your name into the Goblet of Fire?!?!?' moment is insane in the movies, but if that were how Dumbledore reated everytime he thought a student had done something, then it would make sense why Dumbledore was the only one Voldemort ever feared.

"TOM DID YOU OPEN THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS?!?" while shaking an alarmed teenage Voldemort in front of the staff

#gobletoffire #dumbledore #harry potter #michael gambon #didyouputyournameinthegobletoffire #tom riddle #goblet of fire #goblet of fiyah

trashcannie

if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live in the midwest, this is it.

jasperzilla

You missed some of the best ones

dragonastra

the best part about it is that the art installation isn’t actually called the Bean. It’s called Cloud Gate, and artist Anish Kapoor (yes, THAT Anish Kapoor) hates that we call it the Bean.

But i mean, look at it. It’s a bean.

vashthestampedee

How could you forget this one though

akamine-chan

I HAD NO FUCKING IDEA THAT THE BEAN WAS CREATED BY ANISH KAPOOR.

solongstarbird

someone help me why is anish kapoor important what did he do?

gay-jesus-probably

Alright sit down for some Art World Drama bcause this is what I live for.

So, sometime last year (?) science invented Vantablack, which is the darkest possible shade of black. Art world got incredibly excited. But as it needs to be very carefully made in a lab, it’s hard to get a hold of, and is extremely expensive. Enter Anish Kapoor, aka FuckFace McGee. Anish Kapoor buys the rights to Vantablack. He is the only human being on the planet that can legally use it, and he’s kind of a prick about it.

Art world is not thrilled with that.

Enter Stuart Semple.

Stuart Semple is an artist, and also makes pigments to sell in his free time. Stuart Semple is astoundingly pissed about this Vantablack nonsense, and Anish Kapoor’s dickery. Stuart Semple makes a new pigment, the brightest shade of pink ever, called Pinkest Pink, and puts it for sale on the internet. To be bought by everybody except Anish Kapoor. Literally, to purchase, you need to confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, do not associate with him, and will not sell or give the pigment to Anish Kapoor or his associates. Art world has a good laugh, everyone buys Pinkest Pink because it’s awesome, and damn it we deserve something.

Anish Kapoor however is a penis, and will not take this lying down, because HOW DARE he not have literally everything.

Anish Kapoor gets his London associates to buy him a thing of Pinkest Pink, and being such a classy human being, posts a picture to instagram of him with his middle finger covered in Pinkest Pink, captioned with “Up yours. #pink”

Everyone flips shit, because. Y’know. Fuck that guy. Especially Stuart Semple. For context here, Anish Kapoor is one of the richest artists on the planet, and has repeatedly been referred to as everything wrong with the art world, and the epitome of the art worlds elitism problem. He’s a giant douchebag. Meanwhile Stuart Semple makes pigments just to get them out there. He turns 0 profit from his now enourmously popular pigments.

Stuart Semple launches an investigation as to who the fuck leaked Pinkest Pink, and plans to strike back. He does so by releasing two new products. First is Diamond Dust, which is a glitter made from glass, so that a painting is still visible after it’s applied, but glitters like a mofo. It’s the most reflective glitter out there, and is available to everyone who isn’t Anish Kapoor. And it being made of glass, if you stick your finger in there, it’s going to hurt quite a bit, so that was Stuart Semple’s way of saying “shove your middle finger in this, asshole, see what happens”. Except without saying that, because he can get an insult across while still being fucking classy.

He also releases Black 2.0, created with the help of over a thousand artists worldwide.

Black 2.0 is the answer to Vantablack. Black 2.0 is a slightly less black black, but looks functionally the same to the human eye. It’s completely safe, smells like cherries, and costs four pounds. Vantablack is highly toxic, potentially explosive, needs to be applied in a special laboratory and sealed properly, can’t be moved across borders, can reach 300 degrees celsius if you’re not extremely careful, and costs thousands of dollars. Anish Kapoor is the only human being who can use Vantablack. He is the only human being who cannot use Black 2.0.

So I think we can guess who got the better deal.

And thus the feud ends, Kapoor defeated.

…But not quite.

Kapoor, in this entire afair, has made exactly two comments to the public. The first being his charming message about aquiring Pinkest Pink, the second being claiming to Buzzfeed that he and his small army of lawyers will be suing Semple, an extremely poor artist who cannot afford a lawyer.

No lawsuit has been made yet, fyi.

The point is, Kapoor is a prick, and doesn’t like talking to the lower classes. So one day in July 2017, he decides he needs another floor on his London studio apartment, and starts making arrangements to have it built. His neighbors are fucking pissed, because this will ruin the light of their apartments. They call to Semple to save them, or at the very least piss Kapoor off some more.

Semple answers to the call, and releases two new paints, Phaze and Shift, as always, banned to Kapoor. They change colours, Phaze with temperature, and Shift is just iridescent. Shift needs to be painted over Black 2.0 to work, and Phaze just works on its own.

So that’s been the art world for the last two years.

Basically, get fucked Anish Kapoor your bean sucks and so does your vantablack.

todayiwrotenothing

Stuart Semple is organising a bean-kissing event for Anish Kapoor’s birthday.

secretsfromwholecloth

Reblogging for “By attending this event you confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, you are in no way affiliated with Anish Kapoor, you are not attending on behalf of Anish Kapoor or an associate of Anish Kapoor. To the best of your knowledge, information, and belief this event will not be attended by Anish Kapoor.”