Post Taster

I am tasting your posts. Yum. FUCK ICE FUCK ICE FUCK ICE

[post-taster]

Welcome to the Post Tasting

I'm the post taster. I taste your posts.

I can also be found at @witchy8464, which is my main blog.

At the moment I'm pretty inactive, but will still answer asks.

Shoot me an ask and I'll taste your blog. Please check rules about that posted below.

asks are currently : OPEN

I do not tolerate racism, misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, etc. I am a queer person of color and I don't want to see that shit. If at any point I reblog something offensive, please let me know so I can fix it.

All tastes are entirely morally neutral. Just because I say something has a bad taste it does not mean it is a bad post. No taste means anything specifically good or bad.

Ask Rules

Please give me time to get to your asks. I am frequently very stressed and busy, and it can take me a while to get the energy I need to check your blog.

If your blog is explicitly sexual in nature, such as primarily horny posting, I am not comfortable tasting your blog. I have nothing against you, but it is my personal preference. Some sexual content is fine, but if your blog is more than half sexual, I likely won't taste it.

If you are unsure whether your blog qualifies as explicitly sexual, just shoot me an ask anyway. I won't mind.

If you just want to chat, shoot me an ask. I like engagement. I might not respond immediately(or at all), but I do see and appreciate you.

I am autistic. I am very, very bad at reading cues. I may misconstrue or incorrectly interpret your ask. If I respond weirdly, please be polite when clarifying or correcting me.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you taste these posts?

The canon answer is that I print out each post, dip it in vaseline, set it on fire, then eat it whole. The real answer is that it is vibes based.

Do you have synesthesia?

I don't know. I don't know if this is something you can be diagnosed with, but if so, I am not diagnosed. I do believe I have it though.

How should I refer to you?

You can just call me "post taster". I use they/them pronouns.

What does the taste mean?

It doesn't mean anything. All tastes are morally neutral and mean nothing about the person or post in general. Please don't be mean to each other guys.

How do you know what [thing] tastes like?

(ʘ ͜ʖ ʘ)

Did you die? Why are you taking a month to answer my ask? Why aren't you gimmicking much recently?

Sorry, I'm probably either really busy or I haven't had much energy lately. I WILL eventually get to your ask and I'm probably not dead. Probably. If I ever disappear for like, three years, yeah I probably died. Or I forgot my password. Anyone's guess really.

[boypart-blog]

WHAT!!!!

[transhumanisticpanspermia]

No

They can leap 36 feet

As in leap forward 36 feet

They don’t jump 36 feet into the fucking sky do you know how terrifying that would be the human race wouldn’t have survived because we’d have all had heart attacks while still in Africa

[handsomeamoeba]

[endquestionmark]

#death from above

[uhouse]

this post makes me cry every single damn time

[post-taster]

this post tastes like cheese sauce but its grainy

[raccoonmilf]

When I was in grade school I used to send emails to biologists and zoologists asking them questions to get answers to include in school projects I was working on, and would cry when they did not respond because I thought I was stupid for thinking that some random kid would ever be deserving of a response from someone who does something as smart and cool and important as *checks notes* studies frog fungus.

Now, at 29, I’m lowkey having a panic attack because my academic email is filled with middle schoolers wanting me to answer their questions about pygmy raccoons and I keep putting off answering them because I’m so overwhelmed with all the other raccoon stuff I have to do.

Anyway, greatest apologies to any scientist I ever emailed as a child and also an adult.

[raccoonmilf]

I know your research is really important and I appreciate all you are doing but this is so fucking funny

[post-taster]

this post tastes like sweaty balls. it did not start out tasting this way

[abalidoth]

Fun little math trick I find really helpful: the ratio of a mile to a kilometer is within 1% of the Golden Ratio. That means that if you have a good memory for Fibonacci numbers (1 2 3 5 8 13 21 34 55 89) you can convert pretty accurately by taking consecutive Fibonacci numbers.

For example, 89 kilometers is really close to 55 miles (55.3). Or, say you need to convert 26 miles to kilometers: 26 can be written as 21 plus 5, so taking the next Fibonacci number up gives 34 and 8, meaning it should be around 42 kilometers. Sure enough, it's 41.8 km!

[tamberoo]

i need several moments, math like this scares me

[abalidoth]

Not gonna lie, as much as I want to be helpful and comprehensible, I am very proud of provoking that reaction image.

[no-one-offical]

‎

[post-taster]

this post tastes like old carpet and the little foam shapes they give kids to teach geometry

[deathtofun]

I told a guy his total was 13.21 and he said “wish it were that year, could actually get some good music on the radio”

[regularlesbian]

breaking news from the AP, our boys on the front have just sacked constantinople. take that, heretics. coming up next are the soothing lute dirges of bing crosby

[post-taster]

this post tastes like hair oil(the oil on your scalp not oil that you intentionally put in your hair)

[mothercain-deactivated20231124]

maybe if men touched each other gently more often like women do, they wouldn’t be so grouchy all the time

[roycecoolldge]

Fuck gentle touch, I wanna get my faggot cunt mauled by a dominant alpha Serbian top!!!

[mothercain-deactivated20231124]

whoa

[post-taster]

this post tastes like cold mucus

[grimoiremanifest]

finding somebody who will laugh at your shitty jokes is joy-inducing but finding a motherfucker who can yes-and all the esoteric bullshit you put out is pure cocaine. this must be the shit all those racuous but good-natured scoundrels down at the tavern are on

[post-taster]

this post tastes like tummy ache. thats a specific taste to me that is entirely undescribable

[freshcuntgrass]

Nothing has done quite so much damage to my internal vocabulary as the construction #MyNoun. I don't remember if it was from that "tour of my jar, this is my twig #MyTwig" or if it was from "inappropriate attachment to objects, my tuube #MyTuube" but either way it was one of you fuckers on here. I do it every time there's my noun #MyNoun

[post-taster]

this post tastes like pvc pipe plastic

[qusok]

Little bnuuy!

[post-taster]

this post tastes like peeps

[post-taster]

If you feel so inclined maybe you’ll please taste my blog smiley face

your blog tastes like stainless steel, rust, and wine

[regardlessicarusflew]

so basically my blog is sexy asfk guys

[post-taster]

this reblog tastes like salt and printer ink

[facelessoldgargoyle]

i fucking hate the “this is the good luck post.” Girl stop contributing to a superstitious environment with ur anecdotes there’s a million goddamn notes on it it’s statistically reasonable that a bunch of people remember the good things that happen after they reblog it

[yvfu]

this is the statistically reasonable post, reblogging it will have no effect except for putting this post on your blog

[moral-autism]

guys this post really works! I reblogged it and it really did put the post on my blog! you need to try it!

[post-taster]

this post tastes like plastic lid

[post-taster]

Can you taste my blog please ? I'm very curious :)

your blog tastes like blueberry pie

[post-taster]

If you feel so inclined maybe you’ll please taste my blog smiley face

your blog tastes like stainless steel, rust, and wine

[post-taster]

taste my oc blog please! @nya-rosalie

your oc blog tastes like lukewarm passionfruit black tea and the stems of daisies(specifically the inside of the stem)

[post-taster]

hi can you give my blog a taste? thanks

your blog tastes like cheap lined paper and feathers(both plastic and real)

[post-taster]

Oh mighty post taster may you please taste my blog

many kind reguards

the jammister

your blog tastes like vaguely tomatoey warm pasta water and bread. I thought it would taste like jam given your name but hey, it tastes like what it tastes like

[post-taster]

Oh, hello. How does my blog taste? Lick me.

your blog tastes like cat hair, sweat, and dirt from under nails