Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: 30 Years of T.U.R.T.L.E. Power!! (March 30th, 1990)
While the first live action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie was released across the nation on March 30th 1990, it wasn’t until the afternoon of Sunday April 1st when my Grandpa (I love you!) and I found ourselves circling the parking lot trying to find a spot to make it in time for our matinee showing. The fourth grade was coming to a close, Summer break was looming on the horizon and I was just a few short months away from hitting double digits by turning 10. My friends, this was an era. When we both finally got out of the car and approached the theater, I can clearly remember the line snaking all the way around the block and extending to The Good Guys building on the other side of the lot. The excitement was palpable as hundreds of grade schoolers paced nervously in place like tiny little expectant parents.
My God, this was actually happening.
Between the years of around 1989 and 1991 (give or take a year for some), myself and many kids my age were sustaining ourselves on a strict pop culture diet consisting of anything we could put in front of us that had a Ninja Turtle on it. Action figures, comic books, themed birthday parties, an animated series, cream pies, cereal, Halloween costumes and of course the arcade and Nintendo games. Our options were not in short supply while we took this stuff any way we could get it and it all seemed to be leading up to this moment: A big budget live action movie. The Ninja Turtles were about to become real.
Making our way closer and closer to the ticket booth, we became within earshot of the kids exiting their showings who were officially 93 minutes cooler than those of us still in line and now living in the future. The expressions on their faces and the incoherent ramblings said it all: “Dang.” As they stumbled out one by one, eyes wide open and mumbling to themselves, I remember desperately trying to make out the words pouring out of one guy repeatedly over and over again until it finally hit me: “Is that dude saying that Casey Jones is in this frickin’ thing!?”
So with hopes of greatness sky high, did the movie approach or at the very least achieve a shadow of or even possibly manage to meet those expectations? Well I mean, for me it walked right up to the ceiling and tore the roof off! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is one of those movies not unlike Batman the year before where while I can definitely remember the hype building and checking my pulse each day waiting for it, I just can’t not not remember the final product being in my life y’know? Sure, this is likely to do with the 200+ times I’ve seen it since then but that just speaks volumes right there: It was immediately timeless. There’s a remarkable balance between the grittiness of the original comics and the lighthearted vibe of the cartoon and toy line at play and those contrasting tones are mixed just about perfectly. It at once takes a very far fetched and (let’s face it) ridiculous concept and throws it into the “real” world without ever not taking the content completely seriously which subsequently means that the audience aren’t treated like children (I’m pretty sure a Ninja Turtle saying the word “DAMN!” several times in the movie was my first step into manhood*). This of course led to a lot of complaints from parents at the time that they felt the movie was “too dark” and of course “too violent” which resulted in an unfortunate attempt at course correction beginning immediately with the first sequel the following year.
But hey guys, at least we got this one before anyone “knew better” right? And we always will. It’s with us forever. Time to plug in that NES arcade game for a few rounds before giving the disc yet another spin. Oh and of course...
Animal Crossing: New Horizons Hits Nintendo Switch in T-Minus ONE WEEK!!
Just look at Tom Nook. Keeping his cool amidst our current worldwide cultural panic. Public schools are closing, bars & wineries are locking up, companies are mandating that their employees work from home and Animal Crossing: New Horizons finally launches in just a few short days. Staring deep into that raccoon’s expressionless gaze, I ask you this:
Gate II: Sure, Let’s Return to the Nightmare. Why Not? (March 1st, 1990)
Not to freak you out or anything, but did you realize that in less than a month the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie will turn 30 years old? Upon discovering this, I immediately did a deep dive and created a list of every other movie that I love which came out in 1990 and it turns out that whoa, that was one prolific year! Once I completed the sheet, I added a column for the release date and yep, you might know where I’m going with this. This year I am going to watch movies like it’s 1990 all year round.
Beginning tonight with Gate II!
First, I’m sure eagle eyed viewers (hey, you <3) will notice that this movie released on the 1st of the month and not the 6th. But I only just thought of this series today so ease up ok?
Gate II is of course the follow up to The Gate (not sure why they dropped the The) which starred an adorable, young Stephen Dorff. In that first movie, he and his heavy metal loving neighbor Terry accidentally open up a gateway to Hell by playing one of his records backwards and then burying a dog in the backyard, which also inadvertently doubles as the sacrifice necessary to conjuring up the portal. Y’know, standard kid’s fare (that movie was rated PG!). It’s an all timer for me and one that I have very fond memories of. There’s a lot of strong imagery in there that’s stuck with me ever since they were burned into my brain during those formative years.
Like this!
Pretty cool, huh?
Now I could have sworn this shot was reused for the TV spots for Gate II, but higher sources tell me “nope” which leads me to something I should address: While I love The Gate I’m not really all that big on II, but man my excitement of seeing a commercial for the sequel was pretty off the charts back then. Which is kind of where my fondness for Gate II truly lies; it was all about the anticipation.
Gate II plays like more of a spinoff from the first film in that it follows Terry, leaving Dorff and his family completely out of the picture. It isn’t nearly as well made or compelling but it does feature some pretty neat practical effects and that sort of thing can really get a lot of mileage outta this viewer. If you’ve never seen either of these 2 movies, I’d strongly recommend giving the first a watch for sure and you can kinda take or leave this one.
Happy 3rd Birthday, Nintendo Switch!! *Ahem* Spit That Out of Your Mouth Please.
Can you believe it’s already been three years since Nintendo launched the Switch? Boy, time sure does fly when you’re drowning in a backlog of unplayed games huh? I can remember the night clearly, standing in line amongst dozens of other dorks, freezing my mushrooms off in the San Francisco wind. The excitement was palpable as we watched that clock count down until midnight and I couldn’t wait to throw a nice chunk of change at a Switch console, copy of Breath of the Wild, pro controller and Zelda, Guardian, Link, Link Rider and Bokoblin amiibo (not to mention somewhere in the neighborhood of 4-7 Fieldwork IPA’s and probably a late night slice). To celebrate Nintendo’s hybrid console entering its middle age (in typical Nintendo system years that is), I thought it would be fun to take a look at precisely which titles I’ve spent the most time playing during these past 156 weeks.
Like any complicated relationship, mine with Godfather’s pizza has always been an unresolved one with hard, strong, traumatic roots planted firmly in my childhood. As mentioned in a post long, long ago in a year far, far away the desire to revisit this franchise was one plagued by geographical location and my lack of owning a car. Y’see, there hasn’t been a Godfather’s pizza shop (that I knew of) anywhere near the Bay Area/Northern California since around 1993, which did nothing but forge the damn joint into legendary status in my memory.
I searched and searched for years. And by that, I mean I’d enter my zip code into their website’s store locator once in a while with all of my fingers and toes crossed down to a white knuckle. During that time I was certain that the closest spot was down in San Diego. Believe me when I tell you, there were plenty of evenings I’d wake up in a nightmare sweat-fueled desire, juggling cost logistics as to how to best make a holiday trip down south really essentially stand in as a swing by to this very specific pizza place.
Without getting too heavy about it, there was a family loss about a year and a half ago which led me back to my hometown for about a week. My sister has an apartment up in Sacramento and I was commuting back and forth to visit an ill relative that was around 45 minutes away from her place. To be brief, the night that I had to say goodbye to this person was a rough one. Leaving that night I drove around old neighborhoods, all from my youth, stopping to sit and absorb the atmosphere and quiet of a warm Summer valley star filled evening.
Before hitting the road, I don’t know where it came from but I googled “Godfather’s Pizza” and wouldn’t you know it, one came up within easy driving distance from my sister’s! I was floored. But yet, this was a real believe it when you see it kinda situation y’know? On that night, burning down the freeway listening to music with nostalgia and sentimentality boiling through my veins, that trip couldn’t have been more exciting. Some sort of silver lining if even just a slight one.
The photo above is from pulling into the parking lot. There it was. Some sort of hypnotic oasis that will define that night forever. Walking in, the smell hit me like a fast pitch to the chest. I greeted the guy behind the counter and then wandered around a bit, like someone who had just had a lobotomy taking their first step into Disneyland. I placed the order for a large sausage and ham pie with extra sauce (because, yeah) and noticed they had some merchandise and asked if I could take a look at their T-shirts. There was no way I was gonna leave without something to prove that this was actually happening. One of the friendly employees took time to help me find a cool baseball T that was my size and I grabbed the pizza on my way out, blessing them all like the Pope.
Once I got back and ate that first bite after 23 years I knew:
You may never be able to go home again, but you sure can get a slice of it.
I was never...uh yeah well, hmm I guess 5 1/2 years away could technically be considered gone but you know what they say: “You have to go away to come back.” But wait, that’s what I just said to to not call this *whew* ok great start!
So what’s happened in the world of Nintendo and Horror Movies and Batman and Godfather’s Pizza since the last time yours truly made a post? Way too much to go into in one entry for sure so I’ll just go ahead and bullet point a few of the biggies:
While the Wii U was home to plenty of great exclusive 1st party software, a confusing marketing message (”WTF!? Is this new damn Wii controller really $300!?” cried the parents at the register) resulted in a hard sales crash and burn for the company. But that’s ok because Nintendo is now sitting pretty with the Switch which is also home to plenty of great exclusive 1st party software (a good chunk of those being Wii U ports!).
An all Horror film streaming service called Shudder was introduced to the world and yep, instantly bought by Amazon. It’s a pretty well curated platform with the obvious selling point being that every full season of both Tales From the Darkside and Monsters are available. Not having the greatest internet connection means that I’m not much of a streamer. But that’s ok because you know I’ve got those hard copy DVD sets at the ready.
Some moron decided it would be a good idea to cast that asshole from Fashionable Male as Bruce Wayne/Batman in the first ever live action crossover film with Superman. But that’s ok because the character is being rebooted again only with Daredevil in the role this time. Wait a minute...that guy played Daredevil too! Pardon me, my nose always begins to bleed a little thinking about this stuff.
Godfather’s Pizza. What can I say other than it finally happened. But that’s gonna have to be its own post soon here I think because I have some dang words to throw at that entire experience.
If you’re curious about what else I’ve been up to since then, well there are a few write ups in the last several years that went up on the old Nintendorks site (read my thoughts on Castlevania: Bloodstained: Curse of the Moon and Nintendo Labo why don’tcha!) And I also got bit hard by the amiibo bug and wound up taking...shall we say, elaborate pictures with them for an Instagram account called Nintendo f/64 (example above). So please enjoy that content.
And as for the elephant in the room, isn’t it adorable?
I mean, yes my old site Shigeru’s List that became Posts & Goblins is no more. Which means a lot of the links on this page are broken. But y’know what? A lot of them aren’t and we’re here to move forward with all new stuff to yap about anyway!
(BLU-RAY REVIEW) Phantom of the Paradise: “Get This DVD Out Of Here.”
Brian De Palma’s 1974 criminally overlooked comedic masterpiece Phantom of the Paradise is certainly unique in the Director’s catalogue, and that’s really saying something considering his pedigree. We’re speaking about the man behind such varied works as Carrie, Scarface, The Untouchables, Mission: Impossible, Blow Out and that piece of shit Mission to Mars movie. Mixing elements of Faust, Dorian Gray, Psycho, Frankenstein, Phantom of the Opera and featuring a soundtrack written and produced by Jim Henson Creature Shop’s Paul Williams, Paradise is truly something to behold. From 50′s greaser tunes to the Beach Boys and onto 70′s glam, this film is a dark and unrelenting parody of the music industry. And it is BEYOND. AWESOME. In fact, I’ve gone on record for various websites in the past stating that it’s probably my favorite flick of all time and you know what? I think I may have to agree with myself on that one. So it’s sort of amazing given this movie’s exceptionally small fanbase that we’re being treated to such a lovely little collector’s edition Blu-Ray courtesy of Shout! or Scream! or Whatever! Factory.
Shigeru’s List is Dead. Long Live POSTS N’ GOBLINS!!!!
Good Evening boys and ghouls! Welcome to my shiny new site, Posts N’ Goblins! What’s so special about this joint you ask? Well for those dear readers who were cool enough to frequent my previous page Shigeru’s List for the past five years (R.I.P.), you’ll remember that your old buddy Ray enjoys yapping about far more than just Nintendo related topics. In fact, every October that site would turn into spook central as I focused on reviewing some of my favorite Horror movies and television episodes. It’s with this in mind that Posts N’ Goblins was formed. Here will provide a home for ramblings about all of my nerdy interests including said creepy stuff, comics, and of course video games though with Nintendo no longer being the dominating theme. Don’t worry about any of your favorite articles from Slist being inverted into some crazy vortex ala’ the house at the end of Poltergeist though. Every post has been merged and you should be able to find content from the past very easily if you need to.
I have BIG plans for this place and I can’t tell you how excited I am so hopefully you are too! There’s a very special Blu-Ray release just around the corner I intend to review and with the Halloween season beginning to creep in, I’ve got a massive (not to mention slightly insane) project about to begin!
You know what? To Hell with an official review of Mario Kart 8. I’d been writing that thing on and off since the game’s release date and I just can’t look at it anymore. Long story short: I LOVE this fucker, and outside of tending to very basic survival behavior it is all I do anymore. All cups have been three starred, all ghostly time trial records shattered and plenty of ass-whipping has been given and received online. So to inject a little life into Shigeru’s List here (which I have big plans for soon), I’ve decided to share with you some of my favorite personal highlight reels from the past couple of months.
PLAYING WITH POWER (Nintendo Toy Impressions): Let’s Have a Look at Those Mario Kart 8 Happy Meal Prizes!
Well this doesn’t happen very often so you’d better believe that made it high time to embarrass myself in public by taking a bunch of awkward pictures! There are NINTENDO TOYS in Happy Meals right now. As in THIS VERY MOMENT. Like, you could actually leave your house and go buy them TODAY. This wonderful occurrence equals yours truly waking up long before his comfort hour to snag the complete lot as quickly as possible. The following post is a blow by blow visual re-enactment of said “collecting” and is jam-packed with half assed attempts at jokes courtesy of our very own brand of Nintendork humor.
Which means to say, it isn't very funny at all. Click here to read more!
Former Criterion Head Honcho Blames Lack of NFS:MW Wii U Success on EA, Nintendo, God, Kittens, etc.
“F*#% EVERYONE.” says Mr. Poopy Pants"
AYE, this one hurts. According to the headline I just wrote, somebody’s talkin’ some trash! *Does that neck swerve thing* This time the anger stems from one Alex Ward, who in addition to hopping aboard my shit-list, also co-founded Criterion games (aka the studio that made Burnout 2: Point of Impact for GameCube). Mr. Ward let loose quite a string on something called Twitter yesterday, discussing the course of action for his new software development company. Their plans include the intention to produce content for any hardware that will allow them to self publish. Well, not including Nintendo’s struggling home console of course. Apparently there’s quite a bit of bad blood swimming around in regards to both EA and Nintendo’s lack of marketing assistance for their work on the Need For Speed: Most Wanted port last year. A game that was a massive commercial failure, even for a Wii U game. The following images were captured for this article using the internet:
BEHOLD! The Fifth Year of Shigeru’s List is Upon Us!
And I promise I’ll start posting again as soon as possible! Real life has been super hectic since the holidays and I haven’t had much time left over to play any video games let alone sit down and try/fail to come up with snarky jokes about them. That poor Link Between Worlds cartridge has been sitting in my 3DS untouched for weeks now! AYE, I’m so out of the loop. Nintendo is still cool right? In the meantime thank you for all of the support this past near half decade.
