I wanted to write something soft about Duncan and baby names, so here’s this.
The sun is just beginning to set under the horizon, various shades of pinks and purples and blues and oranges streaking across the sky. You’re sitting on the porch swing that came with this small beach house that Duncan had rented, claiming that you both needed a vacation from the toxicity of the city. Here, in Duncan’s arms, you can’t say you disagree. It’s been a perfect week of relaxing and soaking up as much uninterrupted time with your lover as you can get. His skin is beautifully golden now from days spent in the sun, and the smell of the sea is constantly in your nose.
Glancing up at Duncan, you can see that he’s watching a young family out on the beach. The two kids are building a sandcastle, crafting windows and turrets as best as they can with their limited skills. Duncan wistfully sighs and you hide a smile, knowing what he’s going to say. It’s like a sixth sense; even though he hasn’t mentioned certain things, his body language is often a dead giveaway.
“I know we’ve talked about it briefly in the past, but…kids?” It’s not some big discussion between the two of you. You both know that you’re simply musing aloud about the many different futures you could possibly have.
You smile. “One day, yes.”
“You know, I’m not getting any younger, here.”
“That’s not my fault, mister!”
Duncan kisses the top of your head before leaning back so your head is laying on his shoulder. “Sometimes, I think about having kids, and I just get so excited at the thought of giving them all of the things that I never had. And I’m not talking about material items. I mean, love and affection from people who aren’t nannies.”
“And you’ll have that,” you promise.
“I mean, I certainly wouldn’t complain.” You stretch, shifting a hand behind you to stroke his cheek. “Who wouldn’t want to see you as a dad?”
“You think I’d be a good one?”
He’s silent for a moment, basking in the knowledge that the woman he loves wants to have kids with him. “Do you want boys or girls?”
“I don’t have a preference.”
“Oh, come on. People say that, but they always do have a preference.”
“Alright…I guess I’d prefer a girl, only because you’d be the best girl dad.”
A bemused smile plays at his lips. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I don’t know, it’s just the vibes you give off! Doing a little girl’s hair, dressing her in her sparkly outfits…” the mental image is almost too cute, and you have to stop yourself for fear of jumping on him right there. “What about you?”
“I’ve always seen myself as having a boy first, although you make having a girl sound really nice.”
Duncan scoffs at the thought of it. “Never. I like something like…Max, maybe?”
“Mmm, maybe not Max. Henry?”
“We are not naming our son after your favorite book characters,” Duncan says, much to your chagrin. “Alex might be nice.”
You ponder it. Although not your favorite, it sounds right. “I don’t hate that.”
Neither of you have noticed it, but Duncan’s hand has drifted to your lower abdomen, where he’s now rubbing circles over the soft skin with his thumb.
“Rosie,” he says confidently. Expecting you to laugh, Duncan’s pleased when he hears you coo.
“Rosie Shepherd sounds so cute!”
He’s thoroughly beaming now, this common love of a name further solidifying his belief that you’re the woman who’s going to be the mother of his children. Still, there’s that doubt in his mind. “It doesn’t…scare you? The thought of having kids?”
“I mean, of course it does. Bringing this little person into the world who’s entirely dependent on you sounds fucking terrifying. But it also sounds like something that would be so rewarding.”
“You know, we could get started trying now…” Duncan says suggestively, moving your hair out of the way to kiss behind your ear.
“Maybe later, I’m comfy just sitting here with you,” you say to torture him, knowing full well that it’s only a matter of time before you allow him to lead you to the bedroom.