I wanted to write something soft about Duncan and baby names, so hereâs this.
The sun is just beginning to set under the horizon, various shades of pinks and purples and blues and oranges streaking across the sky. Youâre sitting on the porch swing that came with this small beach house that Duncan had rented, claiming that you both needed a vacation from the toxicity of the city. Here, in Duncanâs arms, you canât say you disagree. Itâs been a perfect week of relaxing and soaking up as much uninterrupted time with your lover as you can get. His skin is beautifully golden now from days spent in the sun, and the smell of the sea is constantly in your nose.
Glancing up at Duncan, you can see that heâs watching a young family out on the beach. The two kids are building a sandcastle, crafting windows and turrets as best as they can with their limited skills. Duncan wistfully sighs and you hide a smile, knowing what heâs going to say. Itâs like a sixth sense; even though he hasnât mentioned certain things, his body language is often a dead giveaway.
âI know weâve talked about it briefly in the past, butâŠkids?â Itâs not some big discussion between the two of you. You both know that youâre simply musing aloud about the many different futures you could possibly have.
You smile. âOne day, yes.â
âYou know, Iâm not getting any younger, here.â
âThatâs not my fault, mister!â
Duncan kisses the top of your head before leaning back so your head is laying on his shoulder. âSometimes, I think about having kids, and I just get so excited at the thought of giving them all of the things that I never had. And Iâm not talking about material items. I mean, love and affection from people who arenât nannies.â
âAnd youâll have that,â you promise.
âI mean, I certainly wouldnât complain.â You stretch, shifting a hand behind you to stroke his cheek. âWho wouldnât want to see you as a dad?â
âYou think Iâd be a good one?â
Heâs silent for a moment, basking in the knowledge that the woman he loves wants to have kids with him. âDo you want boys or girls?â
âI donât have a preference.â
âOh, come on. People say that, but they always do have a preference.â
âAlrightâŠI guess Iâd prefer a girl, only because youâd be the best girl dad.â
A bemused smile plays at his lips. âWhatâs that supposed to mean?â
âI donât know, itâs just the vibes you give off! Doing a little girlâs hair, dressing her in her sparkly outfitsâŠâ the mental image is almost too cute, and you have to stop yourself for fear of jumping on him right there. âWhat about you?â
âIâve always seen myself as having a boy first, although you make having a girl sound really nice.â
âAh, little Duncan Jr.?â
Duncan scoffs at the thought of it. âNever. I like something likeâŠMax, maybe?â
âMmm, maybe not Max. Henry?â
âWe are not naming our son after your favorite book characters,â Duncan says, much to your chagrin. âAlex might be nice.â
You ponder it. Although not your favorite, it sounds right. âI donât hate that.â
Neither of you have noticed it, but Duncanâs hand has drifted to your lower abdomen, where heâs now rubbing circles over the soft skin with his thumb.
âRosie,â he says confidently. Expecting you to laugh, Duncanâs pleased when he hears you coo.Â
âRosie Shepherd sounds so cute!âÂ
Heâs thoroughly beaming now, this common love of a name further solidifying his belief that youâre the woman whoâs going to be the mother of his children. Still, thereâs that doubt in his mind. âIt doesnâtâŠscare you? The thought of having kids?â
âI mean, of course it does. Bringing this little person into the world whoâs entirely dependent on you sounds fucking terrifying. But it also sounds like something that would be so rewarding.â
âYou know, we could get started trying nowâŠâ Duncan says suggestively, moving your hair out of the way to kiss behind your ear.
âMaybe later, Iâm comfy just sitting here with you,â you say to torture him, knowing full well that itâs only a matter of time before you allow him to lead you to the bedroom.Â