Pratsam Svamp

Jag pratar mycket. Ser dåligt. Hör selektivt. Dricker omåttligt. Och skrattar mig igenom det

[buzzfeed]

People Are Making Their Phone Backgrounds A Pic Of Kanye Because Of One Guy’s Tweet

Well, this is perfect.

P.S. here you go:

[krinkshaming-deactivated2017021]

[willcub-deactivated20180521]

I have a feeling this will become iconic in due time.  

[moonblossom]

I’ve watched this for like a dozen loops and I still crack up every time

[enfranchisement]

beat your depression

beat it with a fucking broom beat it into the fucking ground die die die

[pratsamsvamp-blog]

Had a beer with one of my closest friends from uni... And realized that the crush I had the first year before he became "a friend" is still there. I mean, he is one of the strongest listeners, he has the most beautiful hands, he is mellow but still has his one mind and is not afraid of expressing it. He is secure in himself and so a true feminism. He is even damn good looking with one of those bodies that the genes just love... And he is the one who asks you to text when you're home so ge knows that you're safe. Why oh why is he single?! Or even better; how oh how do I get him?! I've known him as a close friend for 5 years... like good luck getting out of the friendzone miss...

[pratsamsvamp-blog]

[budgetcrunch]

1. Your skin may never be perfect, and that’s okay. 2. Life is too short not to have the underwear, the coffee, and the haircut you want. 3. Everyone (including your family, your coworkers, and your best friend) will talk about you behind your back, and you’ll talk about them too. It doesn’t mean you don’t love each other. 4. It’s okay to spend money on things that make you happy. 5. Sometimes without fault or reason, relationships deteriorate. It will happen when you’re six, it will happen when you’re sixty. That’s life.

Five things I am trying very hard to accept (via aumoe)

[unseenphil]

The time I convinced accidentally convinced a Church Youth Group I was some sort of were-owl.

So way back in high school, I was roped into attending a church youth group trip for Spring break. We were all set up in a series of cabins in a national park that also served as a  Manatee preserve with a hot spring. Such exciting events took place as ‘multiple nature walks’, ‘prayer meetings’  ‘swimming near the hot spring because if you get too far away from the spring, the water’s not as clear and there are gators’ and ‘Unseenphil packed more books than clothes and fucks off somewhere to read because holy shit, I can only take so much being around people who keep wanting to hold hands and pray together’.

As it happens, there was an owl nesting near our cabin, and apparently, my ‘goes off somewhere to read and be alone’ schedule matched up nearly perfectly with its ‘get offended by the presence of humans near its nest and divebomb a motherfucker’ schedule.

So basically every time I was nowhere to be found, the Owl attacked.

This happened about 6 times in the course of a 3 day, 4 night trip.

By the end of the trip, at least two people were convinced I was the owl, and 3-4 others didn’t really believe it but went along with it because it was funny.

(This was probably not helped by the title of one of the books I was reading being “The Compleat Enchanter” and this being a church group with  kids who thought there were such things as were-owls.)

…I didn’t find out about all this until about two weeks after the trip when I was asked if I could only turn into the Owl while in Florida, and finally got the story from someone, at which point I just said “Whoo would even believe that?” because of -course- that’s what you say when you find out people think you can turn into an owl.

I can only imagine how this would have turned out if this had been post Harry Potter.

So yeah. If you want to freak out teenaged Presbyterians, arrange for a coincidental owl.

[pratsamsvamp-blog]

Helgen? Alfapet (vann), PizzaJohnskosnören på, Outlander säsong 2, Kaffe med särbon, Malmös godaste gyros och klubba efter maten. Och (utanför bild men störst) SVERIGE TILL OS I RIO!!!

[beecups-deactivated20171013]

Why isn’t using sign language more common in society? like??? Not even just communicating within deaf communities but for everybody to use with anybody?

I feel like this should be standard learning material for those working in loud workplaces or with machinery, or maybe idk for talking underwater or when someone else can’t hear you at a concert. Or what about when somebody is having a panic attack and can’t talk, or just isn’t all that comfortable with voicing their feelings?

Why isn’t nonverbal communication more integrated into our society? Cause it should be.

[lithicc]

Fun History Fact: The overwhelming majority of cowboys in the U.S. were Indigenous, Black, and/or Mexican persons. The omnipresent white cowboy is a Hollywood studio concoction meant to uphold the mythology of white masculinity.

[howmanymoredays-deactivated2013]

Thank you.

[myvaginaisanuclearreactor-deact]

I will always re-blog this

[skywritingg]

I think it was high school when i overheard some white girl put on her best semi-disgusted and confused voice and go “why do so many Mexicans dress up like cowboys?” and I had to be the person to tell her.

[mexica-boricua-deactivated20180]

Why do you think the whites say buckero? Cause they couldn’t say vaquero.

[fortitia]

For Anyone Who’s Been Told It’s “Just A Phase”

“When they tell you your love is just a phase, tell them you don’t like the word just.” Written & Performed by Kevin Kantor & Sienna Burnett Follow all your ...

[acutelesbian]

A lot of people ask me what my biggest fear is, or what scares me most. And I know they expect an answer like heights, or closed spaces, or people dressed like animals, but how do I tell them that when I was 17 I took a class called Relationships For Life and I learned that most people fall out of love for the same reasons they fell in it. That their lover’s once endearing stubbornness has now become refusal to compromise and their one track mind is now immaturity and their bad habits that you once adored is now money down the drain. Their spontaneity becomes reckless and irresponsible and their feet up on your dash is no longer sexy, just another distraction in your busy life. Nothing saddens and scares me like the thought that I can become ugly to someone who once thought all the stars were in my eyes.

[fat-thin-skinny]

this fucks me up every single time

[acutelesbian]

I never expected this to be my most popular poem out of the hundreds I’ve written. I was extremely bitter and sad when I wrote this and I left out the most beautiful part of that class.

After my teacher introduced us to this theory, she asked us, “is love a feeling? Or is it a choice?” We were all a bunch of teenagers. Naturally we said it was a feeling. She said that if we clung to that belief, we’d never have a lasting relationship of any sort.

She made us interview a dozen adults who were or had been married and we asked them about their marriages and why it lasted or why it failed. At the end, I asked every single person if love was an emotion or a choice.

Everybody said that it was a choice. It was a conscious commitment. It was something you choose to make work every day with a person who has chosen the same thing. They all said that at one point in their marriage, the “feeling of love” had vanished or faded and they weren’t happy. They said feelings are always changing and you cannot build something that will last on such a shaky foundation.

The married ones said that when things were bad, they chose to open the communication, chose to identify what broke and how to fix it, and chose to recreate something worth falling in love with.

The divorced ones said they chose to walk away.

Ever since that class, since that project, I never looked at relationships the same way. I understood why arranged marriages were successful. I discovered the difference in feelings and commitments. I’ve never gone for the person who makes my heart flutter or my head spin. I’ve chosen the people who were committed to choosing me, dedicated to finding something to adore even on the ugliest days.

I no longer fear the day someone who swore I was their universe can no longer see the stars in my eyes as long as they still choose to look until they find them again.

[conceitedtrash]

This is so fucking important and I think it’s something I needed right now

[ghostsandgoblins]

Video: Ryan Reynolds Interviews Hugh Jackman

[pratsamsvamp-blog]

<3 <3 <3

[james-winston]

The Titanoboa, is a 48ft long snake dating from around 60-58million years ago. It had a rib cage 2ft wide, allowing it to eat whole crocodiles, and surrounding the ribcage were muscles so powerful that it could crush a rhino. Titanoboa was so big it couldn’t even spend long amounts of time on land, because the force of gravity acting on it would cause it to suffocate under its own weight.

[laurdlannister-kingslayer]

I’m so glad they aren’t around

[vitressence-deactivated20150307]

omg me too. I’m scared enough of 26 ft long anacondas. I’m so happy Megalodons, those giant sharks, aren’t alive either

[laurdlannister-kingslayer]

Praise natural selection

[poppypicklesticks-blog]

I remember watching Walking with Beasts or something similar, or some British tv show about evolution

The subject was something like a 12 foot long water scorpion

I was so startled by its sudden appearance and narration that I yelped: “12 fucking feet?!?!  I’m fucking glad it’s extinct!” 

[silvermoon424]

Dude, prehistory was home to some fucking TERRIFYING creatures. For some reason, everything back then was enormous and scary. Extinction doesn’t always have to be a bad thing!

And Poppy, what you saw was an arthropod known as Pterygotus (it was actually featured in Walking With Monsters). Not only was it as big (or maybe even bigger) than your average human, it had a stinger the size of a lightbulb. REALLY glad that bugger isn’t around anymore.

Also, Megalodon deserves to be mention again, because just hearing its name makes me want to never be submerged in water ever again.

[sashayed]

GOD, I HATE THIS POST. HOW DO WE EVEN KNOW THAT SHIT ISN’T STILL AROUND? LURKING? EVOLVING? WE DON’T. WE DON’T KNOW SHIT ABOUT SHIT DOWN THERE. THE OCEAN IS A PRIMEVAL HELLSCAPE NIGHTMARE AND WE ALL JUST DIP OUR STUPID FRAGILE UNPROTECTED FETUS BODIES AROUND THE EDGES OF IT LIKE THAT’S NORMAL. FUCK THE OCEAN.

[honey-andrevolution]

this is so relevant to my interests 

[siphersaysstuff]

It wasn’t just the predators. North Carolina was once home to giant ground sloths…

THAT IS A GODDAMNED LEAF-EATING SLOTH.

We’ve got a skeleton of one of these fuckers at the museum downtown, and man, just being NEAR it is unsettling.

[anneriawings]

DON’T FORGET PREHISTORIC WHALES, SOME OF THOSE FUCKERS WERE TERRIFYING

AMBULOCETUS WAS AMPHIBIOUS AND PRETTY BADASS

BASILOSAURUS WAS THIS GIANT REPTILIAN CETACEAN THAT PROBABLY SWAM LIKE A DUMB EEL BECAUSE OF ITS TINY FLUKES BUT THIS FUCKER WAS 60 FEET LONG AND AT THE TOP OF THE MARINE FOOD CHAIN

AND THEN THERE’S MY FAVORITE, ZYGOPHYSETER, WHICH WAS THIS HUGE EARLY SPERM WHALE THAT ATE SHARKS AND OTHER WHALES

IT WAS NOTHING BUT TEETH

[gallizfrey]

The reason why the animals in the prehistoric times were so big was because there was much more oxygen in the atmosphere if I recall correctly. Because there was so much oxygen and so few carbon gasses, life on earth was able to grow to terrifying lengths and heights, don’t forget how giant the bugs were.

[shabbytigers]

I have never seen so much prime nope in a single post

[ororomunroedontpullout]

Also important to note that megalodon is theorized to still be alive,possibly living in the darkest depths of the ocean. They haven’t found signs of its extinction

[seananmcguire]

I want all the babies.

[neoliberalismkills]

reblog if women with swords

[theodd1sout-deactivated20210101]

“I can also shock you”

“No, you can’t”

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[pratsamsvamp-blog]

Alla mina vänskapsrelationer.... typ

[pratsamsvamp-blog]

Jag vill inte moralpropagera. Men ändå finns det så många olika anledningar till att minska sin konsumtion av animaliska produkter. Så jag samlar allt här. Enjoy Kycklingfarm Bönor 40% klimatsmarta...

För att ibland måste vi konkret visa på varför grönsaken är bättre, snällare och klokare än köttbiten