starker shitposting

a place for crack  my main is @preciouspeterbparker

[bloodgutsandstarbucks]

…

[im-a-goner-foryou]

…Has this been done yet

[tony-is-my-daddy]

Peter: *climbs into Tony's lap* Hey daddy... wanna hear something dirty?

Tony: *smrinks* Sure.

Peter: The kitchen.

Tony: ...What?

Peter: YOU DIDN'T DO THE DISHES AGAIN ANTHONY!!!

[c6h12o6-work]

[snowstark]

Lab Partners.

↳ mcu incorrect quotes (3/?)

[an--errant]

Peter: you’re the most jealous man i know!

Tony: …

Tony: you know other men?

[starlightbeam]

TONY:go fuck yourself!

PETER:fuck me yourself, you coward!

Tony,already taking his clothes off: you asked for this!

NATASHA: this is the weirdest foreplay i’ve ever seen

Steve, covering his eyes: NOT IN THE LIVING ROOM!!!

[starlightbeam]

Tony:Babe can you help me this zip?

Peter:Sure

Tony:

Tony:Zip it up, Peter

Peter:Oops

[whenstarkerwillbecanon-deactiva]

Tony: *sigh*

Peter: What?

Tony: Didn't you say that you were going to stop getting injured on patrols?

Peter: Yeah, and I also said that I was going to stop giving you blow jobs for a month, but that was a lie too.

[pillowprincesspeter-deactivated]

Peter in his head: God, Tony looks so good in that suit. I wonder how big his dick is? Is that weird? Nah I'm just thinking about it, unless.

All the Avengers:

Tony:

Fury:

Peter: oh that wasnt in my head?

[pillowprincesspeter-deactivated]

Tony: *slightest inconvenience* Im going to kill myself.

Peter: *A 19 year old gen z* same.

Tony: No take that the fuck back

[senor-cummies]

Tony, staring at Peter dreamily: *sigh* I wonder what great thoughts are going on his beautiful mind.

Peter, in his mind whilst disassociating: *mini him in the spider suit twerking* fErGaLiCoUs DeFiNiTiOn MaKe ThE bOyZ gO lOcO

[c6h12o6-work]

[shippinggirl2424]

Every day I wake up and think of this masterpiece

[starkeristheendgame]

Peter: I keep refusing to spar with Mr. Stark.

Peter: What if he chokes me and I cum?

[bloodgutsandstarbucks]

…

[chokememrstark]

Peter: I'm a huge fan of whatever the fuck this is!

Tony: ... that's my dick, Peter.

Peter: Very cool.

[chokememrstark]

Tony: Peter, you need to eat healthier. That's too much junk food.

Peter: Thanks, but I'm good.

Tony: The last person to not listen to my advice died.

Peter: My god, really??

Tony: Yes, they died in a plane crash.

Peter: That... sounds unrelated.

Tony: It doesn't. I'm the one who crashed it. Don't disobey me and eat your vegetables!

[bloodgutsandstarbucks]

[cool-i-m-dead-inside]

Peter: I want to sleep for the rest of my life

Tony: That’s called a coma

Peter: Sounds fun

Tony: Kid no-