Look. Darry hitting Ponyboy is obviously, unequivocally wrong, and we shouldn’t make excuses for it or justify it.
But outbursts of aggression or violence can be a symptom of trauma and PTSD. And we really need to stop completely leaving that out of the debates of “is Darry a good or bad guardian/person?”
Something many in the fandom forget, despite it being a central aspect of Darry’s character, despite it being a central aspect of Pony’s character arc, despite Pony reminding us explicitly and repeatedly in his narration - is that Darry’s behaviour when we see him in canon is out of character.
Ponyboy could not be more clear about this. “Me and Darry got along before mom and dad died.” “Nobody in our family ever hit me before. Nobody.” The palpable shock of all three brothers, including Darry himself, after Darry hit Pony.
One of the main reasons why Pony finds Darry’s behaviour so distressing is because it’s new. It’s different. It’s unexpected. It came seemingly out of nowhere. He’s not used to it and it’s caught him horribly off guard. It’s yet another cataclysmic change that Pony’s had to deal with as an unexpected byproduct of his parents’ deaths. He hasn’t had a lifetime to inoculate himself against Darry yelling at him or hitting him, like Johnny or Dally or Steve with their parents. If Darry was an abusive person, Pony would be used to these behaviors. He might say something like, “Darry was always like this but now mom and dad aren’t here to protect me.” But no. Darry yelling at Pony all the time is out of character. Darry hitting Pony is out of character. Again, it doesn’t excuse the behavior, but it does raise alarm bells and give us some very important clues.
You have some acting violently in a way that is recent, sudden, and out of character. That’s the profile of someone who is suffering from trauma.
All three brothers suffered their parents’ deaths, but it’s safe to assume Darry was the one who had to identify their mangled bodies. Darry was the one who had to prepare those bodies for burial. Do you think Darry doesn’t see that image when he closes his eyes? Do you think he let Soda and Pony see that? If Pony had seen his parents’ dead bodies, he would have mentioned it. The whole point of the story is that even after his parents’ death, Pony doesn’t see the full extent of death and violence and dead bodies with his own eyes. Because Darry took care of it for him.
Darry is not only acting out of character during canon, but he’s most likely also acting on impulses that he can’t fully control and hasn’t been given the tools to do so. Mental health and trauma therapy were not really a thing in the 1960s, and even if the Curtis’ lived in the modern era, they still wouldn’t have the money and resources to access that help. Maybe a modern Darry Curtis could self diagnose through Google searches, if he ever found time, but that’s about it.
Not to mention the societal and material circumstances at play. You can’t insist that the story is about class and socioeconomics - which it is - but make Darry the sole exception, and act like his wrongdoings alone exist in a vacuum.
The whole point of Darry hitting Pony is that it’s the culmination of events, a breaking point, that is a direct result of their class and their poverty. Darry would never have hit Pony if he wasn’t at the end of his rope, not just due to their parents’ death, but all the socioeconomic conditions resulting from it.
Darry hit his breaking point when Pony came home late, not because he was mad that Pony broke his tyrannical rule, but because Pony breaking curfew could have disastrous, life altering consequences. He was worried sick not knowing where Pony was, but he couldn’t do anything about that, because if he called the police, Pony and Soda would be taken away and tossed in the system. Because Darry’s custody is constantly under threat, because they’re low class and poor. And he’s already running on fumes from the financial ruin and precarious custody that he’s had to deal with every minute of every day since their parents died. If soc kids lost their parents it would still be a tragedy and a trauma, but money and custody and college and future would not be a concern. They’d just access their trust funds and be adopted by any number of other wealthy relatives or family friends.
If anything, I think it’s damn impressive that Darry improves his behaviour toward Ponyboy as much as he does, considering he has no more resources or support system by the end than he does at the beginning. His efforts to be more gentle and patient and communicative are sheer willpower. In essence, he’s trying to override his triggers while still living in survival mode, and he manages to make progress. That’s hard enough for people who know those terms and have that vocabulary, let alone someone who very much does not.
So is Darry’s treatment of Pony wrong? Of course. Is he inherently a bad person? The narrative is very clear that he is not, that his negative behavior is an anomaly. Is there a hell of a lot of context to Darry’s mistakes that should be taken into account? Yes. Is said context literally the whole point of the story? Also yes. Would you do any better in his position - his exact position, including his age and living in his time period? Sorry, no. If you are an adult in 2025 who can’t bother to understand Darry, there is no way you would have done a better job of understanding Ponyboy or caring for Ponyboy if you were Darry in 1965. If you write off Darry as just an abuser, just an inherently bad person, I guarantee that if you lived in the 1960s, you’re the one who would think Ponyboy was just an ungrateful brat who needs a good smack to whip him into shape.
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