Promise Me This Is Forever 🥀

[prickmyfingeronaspinningwheel]

poetry masterlist;

perspective

If I

don’t get me wrong

importance, or lack of

[thefakerachelray]

Things to bring back in books:

Chapter titles

Actually having a synopsis on the back instead of reviews no one will read

[prickmyfingeronaspinningwheel]

Importance, or Lack Of

Fuck life. Fuck everything. Importance is gone, faded away like a serene shadow running from its internal problems.

My feet hurt from carrying this pressure upon my sinking shoulders, life is hard. It won’t get better, it’s already reached the best, now is time for the worst.

That seems impossible, but nothing ever is.

Cruel memories eat away at my mind, devouring any shred of happiness that I have ever felt. Emotions cannot be contained, the body must combust from depression sometime, why not now?

Down I look, at the scars that slither upon my arms, reminders that I did not succeed in my attempts of going to another world. Everything hurts.

Pain is the breath of life, you come into the universe screaming for air, but when you leave it there is a silent breath, a sigh of relief if you will. I am impatient for that ounce of oxygen to leave my lungs, so I no longer have to suffer nor see other people struggle with similar products of mental health.

Sigh.

[prickmyfingeronaspinningwheel]

[prickmyfingeronaspinningwheel]

Some have no ending

[prickmyfingeronaspinningwheel]

Can’t do that if everyone in ur life has done that at some point

[prickmyfingeronaspinningwheel]

And this is why I trust nobody

[prickmyfingeronaspinningwheel]

[prickmyfingeronaspinningwheel]

[prickmyfingeronaspinningwheel]

[thatgirlonstage]

Please don’t let fandom ruin something you love. Walk away and unfollow the fans and enjoy the thing by yourself, or find a limited circle of people who ignore the discourse, or get your irl friends into the thing and collectively ignore the Internet community, or blacklist from here to the moon if you need to and only ever scroll through your rarepair ship’s tag on AO3. But don’t let fandom distort a show or a movie or a book or a comic you used to love so badly that you can’t enjoy the original anymore. Please. It isn’t worth it.

[genterie]

[millthompson]

[prickmyfingeronaspinningwheel]

Don’t Get Me Wrong

I need help, a way out of this mortal misery. It’s so painful and I don’t want to hurt anymore. There is no escape, it’s all just an endless cycle of disappointment, isolation, hatred. Everyone has a vendetta against me and I just can’t cope with it. How am I supposed to love myself when it’s literally impossible for anybody else to? At this point I might as well be a walking corpse, because I darn well feel like it. Life is just a crushing mountain of depression and anxiety, once I build myself back up after my fall, it happens. Again and again, and it is never going to stop. To me, happiness is just a currency, it easily runs out, and not everybody has it, or at least not much. People take it from me, make me survive on the suffering instead. I’ve never felt so worthless. So expendable. I’m cheap, and everyone can see that, they toss me into the shallows, forcing me to drown repetitively, and whenever I try to swim, I can’t. I can’t pretend to do something that I can’t. I can’t be someone else, as much as I would like that, sure it’s possible to change my hair or my clothes, but my fate will forever be ceiled in cement. And that road is to be a lonely one. One where it is only my footsteps crunching upon the gravel, walking towards the blinding sun that will torture me with its rays until I disappear into a mass of dust that sails in the same direction as the wind. That sounds peaceful, and don’t get me wrong, I really want it to be, but I know that is a hell of a lot for me to ask for. That doesn’t line up with my luck in the slightest, mostly due down to there being none. I get that life is difficult for the vast majority of us, but it shouldn’t feel like this. Time is precious; temporary, yet I still remain wanting it to come to its end. Don’t get me wrong, the world is beautiful, nothing beats sitting by a river in the dead of night or walking on the beach, but they’re only luxuries. Like human life, they are not eternal. It all reaches its life span, whether it be earlier or later than my own demise.

[prickmyfingeronaspinningwheel]

If I

If I were a bird, I could fly

If I were a fish, I could swim

If I were a person, then I could feel something

But I am nothing

Not even a forbidden darkness as I stand solely in the corner, waiting for someone to notice me

My existence is thin, hanging on by a thread as I wonder why I am treated this way

If God made me, if I am his creation, then why am I less than a fly on the wall?

Was I nothing more than to fill a gap?

Because if so, then it still feels pretty empty, like a grave that has yet to be fulfilled by a body

The walls stare at me. They are the only thing that do

Their expanses are plain and boring, just like me

I would beat on them to cause a scene, to divert some attention my way, but that is just not logical

If I were to do that, then I would be called out on my behaviour

I would be not an if but a what.

A whore for attention rather than a victim wanting their suffering to end

Because that was what I am, nothing more nor less unfortunately

If I were happier then I would walk in with a smile in my face

Perhaps then people wouldn’t forget

But then I would, because I would have no worries

If I were happy then I would not be sad

And if I wasn’t sad then I wouldn’t be me

If I, if I, if I

That’s what they say, and that’s what I should be saying

[prickmyfingeronaspinningwheel]

Forever was a nice idea

[robertmitchum]

SINGIN’ IN THE RAIN dir. Stanley Donen + Gene Kelly 

[robertmitchum]

BONUS: 

reblog for good luck!!