A Mess: Like My Life

Courtney, 26, Australia  some kinda whole ass mess

[eisenkrahe]

[flipocrite]

not she berry or he berry but no berry

and that is berry good

[hppjmxrgosg]

"going out to get milk" is a common turn of phrase used to describe a man abandoning his family.

the "milkman" is a common figure in stories depicting a woman's infidelity and adulterous affair.

this implies that the ability to provide milk would both decrease the likelihood of a man abandoning his wife and children, as it would eliminate the need for leaving to get milk AND would secure that man's marriage, as his wife would have no need to seek milk from an extraneous source.

therefore, all men should produce milk, through various means such as:

- being a cow

- being an almond

- being a woman

- being a coconut

- being in the omegaverse

- being an oat

(list is exemplary and not finite)

in this essay, i will redefine the nuclear family and explain the seductive and inflammatory nature of the 1993 "Got Milk?" commercials.

[beardedmrbean]

He's in charge and he can do that, the next one can change that decision, that's the rules as I understand them.

[beardedmrbean]

Sad Waluigi noises

[beardedmrbean]

[quiet-doll]

recently saw ppl discuss whether they put their medicines in a kitchen cabinet or a bathroom cabinet and i was shocked by the fact that many ppl said kitchen cabinet. so now i need you to reblog this and say where you keep yours

[queenofthyme]

all over the house crew stand up

[burgerdotcom]

reblogs were off

[apolladay]

What category is your last name?

Son of some guy ("Johnson", "O'Brien", etc)

Job ("Smith", "Miller", etc)

Place/town ("Hill", "del Valle", etc)

Nickname/attribute ("Short", "Goodman", etc)

Hyphenated/multiple of the above

Other (describe in the tags!)

Unsure/results

Voting ended onJul 6

[myheartflutters]

It’s an enamel pin of a cat biting another cat’s butt. No further explanation needed. (IT'S AVAILABLE HERE)

[ashed13]

@theunknowngrowshere

... I found it. Love they made it into a pin–

[otherworldlyflameorb]

Yay ill order it

[gallusrostromegalus]

A cat is a machine that turns proteins into violence.

[starathsbunker]

#Helios was declawed by his former owners so he doesn't just slap things he dislikes like most cats#he really only feels confident in hissing at them#Especially because a lot of the thing he doesn't like are bugs and those are sharp sometimes :(#Selene has figured this out and now when she hears him hiss she sprints over the kill the fuck out of the bug#Helios has learned she will do this so he'll hiss at stuff louder and louder until she hears him#A nervous old man and his emotional support homicidal maniac tags by @gallusrostromegalus

I couldn't reblog without the tags because the context is hilarious

[gallusrostromegalus]

A Nervous Old Man (right) and his Emotional Support Violence Machine (Left)

Yes, he is more than twice her size. Yes, he is five times her age. Yes, he cries like a big baby until she kills Unacceptable Scary Things (earwigs) for him.

[cm8x-insanity]

I couldn't get these two and their dynamic out of my head, @gallusrostromegalus I doodled them (guessed on their collars)

[gallusrostromegalus]

OH MY GOD MY CATS HAVE FANART

[draconym]

[draconym]

great work everyone hit the bathhouse

[itsalwaysdark]

you have to be careful reading too many things that are good/smart/well-written bc then you encounter something that isnt and you get confused like ? why didnt they just make this good ? were they stupid

[skodasforge]

“It’s photoshopped” honestly in the age of AI that has a homey sort of nostalgia to it. Remember when people used to put effort into faking things?

[kaosuqi]

photoshop fakers are like the villain with moral standards now

[moghedien]

I feel like I need to share this because idk if Europeans are familiar with the presence of Aldi in the US, but at least especially in my area they’ve been growing a lot recently. Like Aldi bought out some local failing grocery chains where I live (Louisiana) and have opened Aldis in all these somewhat rural communities and small towns, which for the record I’m fine with

But as a result of this they are advertising a lot more in my area and also in many cases, the people in these areas have never been confronted with Aldi or any European grocery store. So the ads that Aldi is pushing out to its new US customer base feature a cowboy shopping at Aldi who is explaining to new Aldi customers how Aldi works. Like this cowboy is explaining you gotta put a quarter in the shopping cart and why there are very little name brands. A cowboy is how they want to reach their American customer base. They gave us a cowboy

[moghedien]

Here he is, the Aldi Cowboy

[transmechanicus]

‘You should only send hearts to ppl you’re romantically involved with’

WRONG! BOUNDLESS PLATONIC LOVE, WARMTH, AND ENTHUSIASM BE UPON YE!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[beardedmrbean]

Scientists invented a fake disease. AI told people it was real: Nature.com

I'm a bit frightened for the time when someone less ethical than the person that did this decides to repeat the experiment but leave out the part where they come in later and announce that it was fake and people wind up diagnosed with the fake condition and all kinds of wacky hi jinks ensues.

[beardedmrbean]