Listening to a podcast about Phillipe I, Duke of Orleans (bc ✨pride month✨) and I still think I could have written a better Barbie Musketeer adaptation, one where Barbie's character (Corinne D'Artagnan) lived during the reign of Louis XIV instead of Louis XV (who I suspect was the ML bc of his science-oriented character arc even though the hot air baloon is slightly anachronic). Not only is this about the timeline gap (Corinne is supposed to be D'Artagnan's daughter, the Musketeers is set during Louis XIII's reign… almost a hundred years apart from Louis XV's reign), but:
The "historical" D'Artagnan lived during Louis XIV's reign
Louis XIV (aggressively heterosexual and slightly homophobic king) brought ballet to France, so him bringing an art form that we consider "girly" with him remaining a masculine figure could be a counter to Corinne wanting to be a musketeer and a girl
the female musketeer squad could have been a secret squad selected by Anne of Austria, Louis XIV's mother, after her husband's distrust because of Carrinal Rochelieu's machinations because of her connections to Spanish and Austrian royalty
the main villain of the movie was Prince Phillipe, Louis' cousin, but if we had Louis XIV it would have been historically accurate to have Phillipe I Duke of Orleans as the antagonist (not to mention LGBTQ+ diverse but the writers were cowards)
tbh i just want Lully to be present in the film
Ideally my Barbie Musketeer adaptation would have been thus:
set during the last years of Anne of Austria as regent for Louis XIV
Focused on Louis XIV's transition from dolphin to king
Had the court believe him unfit for reigning bc of his love for ballet and getting the court to trust him through the building of Versailles (with him soundboarding the idea of a modern Panem et Circenses type of place to Corinne)
Had Phillipe and Mazarin's relative conspiring for Louis' throne (but defo having Phillipe showing care for his brother)
with Lully please i am begging on my knees please let me have my problematic gay composer
sharing with @importanttragedyunknown bc I promised before i'm too drunk and/or asleep to properly type