I Am Alex(andra)

[vecherion]

[mastergir]

the fucking slapping noise is incredible

[drkarayua]

This is unsettling.

[tooiconic]

1-800-R-U-SLAPPIN

[ripe]

花布爱上鸟_ on weibo

[memehumor]

Swipe RIGHT

[thecybersmith]

Be honest though, the temptation to remove her other arm would always be there in the back of your mind. Symmetry has an undeniable appeal.

[thejediguy]

[its-all-down-hill]

[ayellowbirds]

the face of a bird who fully understands what he did and will do it again.

[monicalknighton-deactivated2018]

WHAT DID HE ORDER???

[bbybnnydddyrbbt]

OMFG HE ORDERED A WHOLE BUNCH OF STRAWBERRIES

https://youtu.be/IvnW89osj0g

[samwiselastname]

berries.

berries.

berries.

[moonlightandmarble]

@zaiqukaj Harpies tho

[zorkat]

Lady: “Alexa, read my shopping list.”

Alexa: “You have 19 items on your shopping list. Here are the five most recent.  Poetry, strawberries, strawberries, strawberries, strawberries.”

*Lady laughs*   

Alexa: “Would you like to hear the next five items?”

Lady: *laughing* “Who ordered this strawberries? (yes please?)” Alexa: “You have 19 items on your shopping list, Here are the five most recent. *cuts*  - the next five items? Lady: “Yes please”

Alexa: “Strawberry yogurt, easy water, jeans, Harry, big tofu. Would you like to hear the next five items?”

Lady: *laughing high pitched* yes!

Alexa: “Big, big, red retreat, milk, berry. Do you want to hear the last four items?”

Lady: “Please yes” *wheezy laughter*

Alexa: “Apple, berry, berry, berries”

*Lady burst into laughter* “Ohh hoo”

[alexi-bear]

Big Tofu

[chuuzus]

Donatella Versace answering questions is everything I needed today

[guayabaprince]

“How do you react to criticism?”

I hate it

[princessasparagus]

[princessasparagus]

Happy Valentine’s day!!!

[hayleysayshay]

[chaarmandeeer-deactivated201904]

i love this video

[etherslide-deactivated20181207]

“Why I Wasn’t Contracted to Write Beauty and the Beast” by I have no idea who, and desperately want to know.  If anyone does, please tell me! Edit:  Through knmajorblogs I have discovered the genius behind this piece of art.  The genius in question is LordJazor !  Thank you!

[weicheidarling-deactivated20240]

“she warned him not to be such an apocalyptic fuck hat to strangers” “for who could ever learn to love such a cock waffle” BLESS THIS IS THE GREATEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN

Reblogged recently, but worth reblogging again.

[didyouknowmagic]

Nothing can top this lol

[bemusedlybespectacled]

“if he could learn not to be a pile of indigestible fuck”

[llwandehll]

I can’t breathe

[no-chill-at-all]

[weloveshortvideos]

[harcules]

this is what it’s like having siblings

[smolfreedomsupporter]

Accurate

[poorlytimed-deactivated20190607]

the screech lmfaooo

[officialfist]

THIS BITCH ANNOYING

YEET

[babyanimalgifs]

What kind of pokemon is this?

[thanx4nothin]

[gotitforcheap-deactivated201611]

if you’re american and coming to australia, I’m gonna go ahead and say that you should be 100 percent way more worried about being king hit by a dude named “dane” in a bintang singlet than any fucking spiders that exist here

[marimopet]

what does this say in english

[iahfy]

commish of another asami pinup based on this. It was about time I drew her on a motorcycle tbh….decided to make an ad variation b/c it seemed like a cool idea to me :U

high res downloads/variations on patreon // society6 print

[dua-daily]

[just-shower-thoughts]

Spiders are the only web developers that enjoy finding bugs.

[disgustinganimals]

jfc