woo to the young to the woo @princessoftentacles - Tumblr Blog

me: do you think this train touches the overhead wires normally or do you think she gets freaky with it

train conductor who i've been distracting from my lack of ticket for 35 minutes now: y'know i think she gets freaky with it

plasmalink

The axe forgets. The tree forgets. The squirrels in the forest forget. Nobody remembers

plasmalink

post cancelled

whatmoredoyouwangfromme

I WAS GONNA SAY “this is funnier cause its not loading” BUT THEN MY SCREENSHOT CAME OUT CROOKED?!?!

IDK WHAT HAPPENED

plasmalink

a mere dutch angle is nowhere near enough to capture the depths of my insanity

dogpuppy

callizinc

God everything fucking sucks. If one more thing in my life goes wrong im gonna [Remembers suicide jokes are bad] I'm going to. To. Tooooo Neeeaaaoooowww [Making airplane noises] [Moves my hand around mimicking an airplane] Weeeeeaaaaaaoooooowwwww [Crashes airplane directly into wall and punches my hand through it and breaks all bones in my hand] PSHHHHHH BOOOOOMMMMMM BHAAAAAHHH [Explosion] WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO [Sirens] [Emergency alert] ERR ERR ERR ERR ERR ERR ERR ERR

chryza

also shoutout to my really tired old white guy gynecologist who when i said "i want a hysterectomy" did not push back at all and instead sighed, and without looking up at me from his tablet went "We'll have to do a bunch of stuff for insurance because it's a scam and otherwise they won't approve it" and then after laying out the plan walked me out and i dont know if we made eye contact once after shaking hands, which is exactly the kind of medical care i want in this day and age.

jame7t

Dude, where’s my kissy. Where is my fuckin snuggles bro

luxiomahariel

a coffin-bed thats just a massive refrigerator would surely fix me

gay-systemdeez

Turn based sex. Take as long as you need to think of a strategy.

gay-systemdeez

HINT: his pussy is weak to fire magic.

nosayingyes

Pepper spray his pussy

gay-systemdeez

Do not.

kargaroc

henstomper

*cums* ok finally got that out of the way *wields a cruel blade violently*

hungwy

hey do you think ronald mcdonald is a dom or sub. i sent this before but im not sure if you got it or not

yeah i got it last time

bestbandname

Round 3:

Which band name do you like best?

Pet Shop Boys

Massive Attack

Voting ended onMar 7

Note that this is about band names not their music or members.

bestbandname

Tie break poll:

Which band name do you like best?

Pet Shop Boys

Massive Attack

Voting ended onMar 27

bestbandname

Take 3

Pet Shop Boys

Massive Attack

Voting ended onApr 8

bestbandname

I'm going to start getting annoyed soon...

iavenjqasdf-deactivated20240911

coughloop

Under communism the wait staff will not ask if Pepsi is okay. You will not even find out that's its Pepsi instead of coke until you take your first sip. Unless you train like me, to know the difference from the sound of the Fizz alone, that is the only way we can beat communism and I can teach you. Take my hand. Not like that you grabbed it gay. Stop. Giggles. I SAID STOP

coughloop

Under communism the wait staff will not ask if Pepsi is okay. You will not even find out that's its Pepsi instead of coke until you take your first sip. Unless you train like me, to know the difference from the sound of the Fizz alone, that is the only way we can beat communism and I can teach you. Take my hand. Not like that you grabbed it gay. Stop. Giggles. I SAID STOP

inbabylontheywept

i am banned from eating my herring inside. they make me eat it on the smoking area by the loading dock, under the theory that it already smells bad there. but it was raining today which was preventing my breakfast, so i was feeling sad and hungry and then i realized that there was a large cardboard box in the dumpster from a previous delivery. like a fridge sized box. so i fished it out of the dumpster, then tipped it on its side and had a nice little cardboard cave to watch the rain and eat my fish in. which was a great experience. very soothing. very zen. at least until the security guard from the day before stepped outside to smoke. then i tried hiding from him by crawling deeper in the box, which unfortunately did not work. instead he saw a sort of damp sniveling pale hairless creature eating fish in a box, and delivered the verbal killshot of "good morning, mr. smeagol." which is how my day was ruined before 8 am.