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DEAR READER
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Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
blake kathryn
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cherry valley forever
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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art blog(derogatory)
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Game of Thrones Daily
trying on a metaphor
AnasAbdin
dirt enthusiast
Sweet Seals For You, Always
i don't do bad sauce passes
titsay
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@princessofthehellmouth
Personally I always felt like Hobbits age at roughly the same rate as exceptionally healthy humans and that the reason they don’t come of legal age until 33 is because have you met people in their 20s because Tolkien did
Funny: Pippin is an idiot because he’s not an adult yet.
Funnier: Pippin is an idiot because he’s 28.
jolkien rolkien rolkien tolkien, an actual college professor: none of you are fucking valid
me, a 29-and-a-half year old: i mean, but is he wrong
me @ my cat: baby enjoy toy. mommy buy for you. enjoy entertainment baby
cat: fuck you. give me more crumpled starbucks receipts
i arrive at the gay bar in full butch getup and i look like super hot like trust me and i start buying chocolate milk for the femmes at the bar…..between my striking good looks and my generosity concerning tasteful dairy products i have impressed them greatly and after an hour of chatting I make my move. i reach into my pocket and remove a large, gorgeous lichen affixed to a piece of bark from its protective herbarium packet that I have concealed in my pants pocket. “it’s a symbiotic relationship between a fungus and an algae,” i begin,
You say shitpost but I swear to god I would pick up the U-haul on our way home from the bar don’t try me
Worldbuilding is fun.
cats don’t know what words mean and i love that about them. i can say “you are a beautiful little angel child and i love you more than anything else in the entire world” but also “you wretched little clown bastard. you’ve created such a big mess and now i have to clean it because i have hands and you don’t. this is god’s cruelest joke.” and they don’t care they just say :3 and put their little paws on me
I could have a cuter room if I wasn’t a goblin who threw all her shit on the floor
the cake says 3 but there are at least 6 rats pictured
they are all brothers and they are all turning 3
Anne Carson, Men in the Off Hours
should have realized im a huge lesbian when i was like 14 and thought girls only wanted boyfriends for the title of having a boyfriend and being a guy’s girlfriend because the concept of actually liking a man and wanting to spend quality time with him in any intimate context was so unbelievable to me
SAME and I always thought girls were exaggerating if they looked at a guy and were like “oh he’s so hot!” because the concept of actually finding a man attractive was so alien to me so I just assumed everyone was pretending
lesbian culture is thinking that girls were only into guys ironically
if my tumblr gets deleted you can also follow me on my other forms of social media:
- digging a grave and whispering my name to the worms
- finding a bear in the forest and challenging it to a game of chess
- launching yourself into the stratosphere and vividly hallucinating my content
- the helpless feeling in your chest when you think of death
if I see anyone posting anything that isnt catholic stained glass photos after the 17th I’m reporting you to the staff on sight
college is just the worst opinions you’ve ever heard being counted as participation points
if you’ve ever taken an ethics class with 19 year old rich white business majors, you should automatically get your degree because enduring four months of Ryan Henry Harrington III’s hot takes will be the hardest thing you ever have to do
When pet owners talk about their pets it’s guaranteed to fall under one of two categories:
Rover is the sweetest kindest force in my life, my closest ally, my best friend, the family member who molded me as a person who I would absolutely lay down my life for. Please let me show you photos of this perfection incarnate.
Socks is on double secret baby probation now and she’s gated in the living room because she wont stop sneaking out and trying to eat all the towels in the house, like the bastard idiot child she is.
I would like to clarify this is not a “which type of pet owner are you” post. There is no choosing. Pet owners are both of these, all the time, forever. It’s a matter of which one is the conversation topic of the day, and the outcome depends entirely upon how recently their pet tried to eat plastic
i basically assume that people don’t like me unless they explicitly tell me they like me and then periodically remind me
this cracked me up more than i think it should have
Look, sometimes murders of crows will blacken the sky at your coming and ravening wolves are gonna follow in your wake, and you’re just gonna have to deal with that, and everybody else in the Costco is just gonna have to deal too
