We’re officially living in a Parks and Rec episode.
we're not kids anymore.

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@princessofthemorgue
We’re officially living in a Parks and Rec episode.
skfkslckcnelcncn okay I’m at work yesterday and my coworker is telling me about her husband and 2 kids and is bitching and I’m like go. off. because that’s what I do and she says to me “the litter box is HIS responsibility and most of the time he doesnt even do that!!” and I immediately say. “That’s all he does??” because girl just told me she took out the trash and did dishes and cared for her fucking children all before coming into work that morning and shes like “…. that’s not ALL he does……..” like. every time I talk to a girl in a bad relationship a part of me dies. you dont have to be his mom too. he’s not the three year old. he’s not a fucking tamagotchi that if you forget to feed him and wipe his ass he dies in a pile of his own shit. ladies if he dies he dies
ladies, if he dies, he dies!
When somebody says that “a man likes to feel like a man,” all I hear is “A man likes to feel superior to you and it’s your job to make him believe it.”
Someone said this to me once, that a man needs to feel like a man, I replied “well I’m not stopping him” and had to watch this fragile creature try to explain to me that my strong personality could demean men.
Like, if I have to pretend you are a strong man and cater to that then clearly you’re not that strong dude.
This post has the most weapons grade dick energy ive ever seen.
don’t lie to me, we all have at least one celebrity we would call daddy with out hesitation if they asked
Rihanna
worst part of adulthood so far is definitely the fact that people have the ability to contact me and i have to respond in a timely manner
“you have nice hands” means finger me like that’s it
“Tell me your favorite weird fact.”
The Earth is covered in corpses. We breathe the air the dead exude, eat the food they nourished with their decay, pour their remains into our cars, wear them and sleep on them. And then we call them scary without even noticing that they are present in every single thing of our lives. We live because of the dead.
do we panic now
S/O to myself fr because this year wasn’t easy at all.
i still can’t get over the fact that you don’t need parental permission to be in the triwizard tournament, but you do to go into the next town
Jessica Lange, ca. 1970.
no pimples 2019
no sadness 2019
no fake love 2019
no hate 2019
no depression 2019
hydrated 2019
full of love 2019
healthy lifestyle 2019
$$$ 2019
Gone in 60 Seconds Press Conference, 2000