As sweet as peach

Mostly void, partially stars

[soppingwetratboy]

Being told what to do is great because then you know what to do

[infectiouspiss]

you're mommy's good little printer aren't you? you'll print whatever mommy tells you to because otherwise mommy gets sad and leaves you for one of those free use library printer sluts

[memewhore]

[decellie03]

nothing will ever be funnier to me than the 30-50 feral hogs joke phase, I think about it at least once a week

[dripped-in-my-pearls]

Happy 30-50 feral hogs day

[cringeunworthy]

I'm gonna get so much mileage out of this one

[galileosballs]

Job Interview Tip: if you come to the end of an interview and your interviewer asks if you have any questions and you don't, yes you do, your question is 'what does the timeline look like going forward'.

This demonstrates a) your interest, b) your attention to relevant detail, and c) that you're treating this like a professional whose time is valuable. It's also useful information for you, since it means you will have at least a loose sense of when to expect news about your success or failure. And unless the interviewer has already explicitly discussed it, it's always relevant.

[wyrmicelli]

me tongue-deep in a sandalwood candle: 🤤

the tjmaxx employee loading a fourth tranquilizer dart into their blowgun: i need backup

[snowown]

[steampowerednarwhal]

The (Un)official Tumblr Census 2026

This census was not written by and is not endorsed or sponsored by or affiliated with @staff in any way whatsoever. Your personal data will not be gathered by this census beyond your responses to the polls. Participating in the census is voluntary, but strongly encouraged.

[steampowerednarwhal]

1. Please select your age

< 18

19-30

31-40

41-50

51-60

60>

Voting ended onAug 5

[steampowerednarwhal]

2. Where do you live?

North/Central America (Outside the United States)

The United States

South America

Western Europe

Eastern Europe

Middle East/North Africa

Sub-Saharan Africa

North/Central Asia

Indian Subcontinent

East/Southeast Asia

Oceania/Polynesia

Voting ended onAug 3

[steampowerednarwhal]

3. Describe your living situation

Live with parent(s)/guardian(s)

Live with other relative(s)

Live with partner(s)

Live with friend(s)/roommate(s)

Live alone

Homeless/unhoused

Other

Voting ended onAug 5

[steampowerednarwhal]

4. Describe your employment status

Unemployed

In part/full time education

Working part/full time

Both working and in education

Self-employed/Freelance

Other

Voting ended onAug 5

[steampowerednarwhal]

5. Which religion do you follow?

Agnostic

Atheist/irreligious

Buddhism

Christianity

Hinduism

Islam

Judaism

No specific religious beliefs

Other religion(s)

Prefer not to answer/Results

Voting ended onAug 5

[steampowerednarwhal]

6. Describe your gender identity

Cis man

Cis woman

Trans man

Trans woman

Nonbinary

Other gender (s)

Prefer not to answer/Results

Voting ended onAug 5

[steampowerednarwhal]

7. Describe your sexual identity

Straight

Gay man

Lesbian

Asexual

Bisexual

Pansexual

Queer

Attracted to multiple/all genders

Other

Prefer not to answer/Results

Voting ended onAug 5

[steampowerednarwhal]

8. Where would you place yourself on the traditional left-right political spectrum?

Far Left

Left Wing

Centrist

Right Wing

Far Right

Voting ended onAug 5

[steampowerednarwhal]

9. When did you join Tumblr?

Pre 2010

2011-2015

2016-2020

2021-2025

2026

Voting ended onAug 5

[steampowerednarwhal]

10. How would you rate the (Un)official Tumblr Census?

5 stars

4 stars

3 stars

2 stars

1 star

0 stars

Voting ended onAug 5

[aviovaimoke]

"Aikuinen mies käyttäytyy kuin pikkuvauva"

- Aviomies, leikatessaan kissan kynsiä

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

coming up with sexual roleplay scenarios about growing up Upper-Middle Class

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

Hey, it looks like your parents aren't home because they're still at their Well-Paid White Collar Jobs...why not stop playing with that New Videogame Console and come have some real fun with me in your Bedroom You Don't Share With Any Siblings ;)

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

tumblr users can't appreciate the subtle eroticism of the drink fridge

[sexboobomb]

I want to learn more exclamations that aren’t strictly just religious stuff. “Jesus Christ” this, “oh my god” that, nah I want something fresh.

What are some of y’all’s favorite exclamations that aren’t about god?

[sexboobomb]

first submission and we're already off to a fantastic start. absolutely love this one thank you

[sexboobomb]

ok its time for the challenge round now we want nominations that arent about sex either actually

[mbrainspaz]

had a friend who used to make new ones up on the spot. The only one that stuck with me was 'good golly jelly beans'. If something catastrophic happens I go for 'that's not ideal.'

[foldingfittedsheets]

@chekhovs-tantrum

Absolutely not letting you leave these in the tags.

[adamsmasher]

WE WERE ON JEOPARDY!!!!!!!!!!

[rouge-the-bat]

thank you for coming to my this #mythis

[importantcatpics]

[ned-magma]

I drew Jimothy~

[importantcatpics]

[datsderbunnyblog]

This comment was left on a post about making the most of the Libby app. "Excessive use of generous lending policies" is the most absurd phrase I've ever seen anyone use to discuss libraries.

[catboycommunist]

evergreen

[byjove]

if you adopt two dogs who are littermates, they will team up on you to undermine your authority. if you adopt two cats that are littermates, they will constantly try to narc on each other to you

[spiderace]

I have two cats that are littermates. This is true

[byjove]

top 10 jobs for serial killers:

cop

member of any branch of the military (often combined with some of these other jobs)

‘polite family man’

truck driver

nurse (gerontology and neonatal specialties especially)

construction/contracting

doctor (gerontology and surgical specialties especially)

anything in the animal agriculture field (particularly pig farming)

preacher (Protestant evangelical especially)

account

[byjove]

serial killer career path gaining momentum: YouTuber

serial killer career path loosing popularity: butcher

[byjove]

I don’t know why butchers aren’t chasing people around with their butcher knives in bloody aprons anymore but that isn’t a major concern in 2026. Maybe modern hairnets have a soothing effect.

[everythingismadeofchaos]

Hey, wow, is this just like a funny fictional observation or is it real data?

Honestly I wouldn't be surprised either way

[please-call-stella]

You don't see a ton of demon barbers either 😞 the economy is is shambles