it’s free real-apostate

20, he/him, butch lesbian | pimo ex-jw | trauma & healing side blog | main @furbyislands

[prismfever]

growing up in this stupid cult turns you into a socially awkward and withdrawn adult and it really sucks. i turned 20 last month and i feel so far behind in comparison with my (worldly) peers. i still live with my parents because i have no other choice. i had a job but it wasn't a stable one. i have some savings but no license (yet) and even then i'm just so fucking scared to leave. it's overwhelming wanting to finally break free of this BS as an adult but having limited resources and a lack of a support system.

[prismfever]

hii guys haven’t touched this blog in a year. unfortunately still living in this stupid cult and feeling as miserable as ever. Yay

[prismfever]

to any person who has escaped a religious cult, do you have any general advice/tips about leaving? I recently turned 18 and I do have a friend to stay with when I do eventually leave everything behind. everything is just so overwhelming. I don’t know where to even start with leaving. My parents are still under the impression I’m staying under their control & on my way to getting baptized. It’s a bit of a slippery slope & I don’t know how to handle it.

[prismfever]

hey gang sorry i abandoned this blog for a bit im still here

[prismfever]

transification beam

[prismfever]

I made it better!

[prismfever]

transification beam

[paganbug-deactivated20230928]

Unlearning any harmful things taught by your previous religion is not easy.

Try to be patient with yourself, and please, know that you are not alone ❤️

[prismfever]

possibly just gonna make this blog exjw stuff + the occasional random reblog. like kinda how I post on my main but just a sideblog for extra stuff

[prismfever]

jws are genuinely the most hypocritical people i’ve ever met. i remember my grandma YELLED at me one time for watching pokémon in her living room. but it was completely fine for her to watch shows/movies promoting things that the bible is against?? if you’re going to preach, why aren’t YOU staying true to your words or what your faith is about??? why do the rules only apply to other people??

[interdimensionalrealitymachine]

exjw culture is listening to your family talk about someone you know who stopped going to meetings and having to hide that you're happy about it by looking shocked instead

[watchhowiwalk]

when you’re a kid in a cult, you grow up fast and slow at the same time.

i grew up fast. i was knocking on doors since i could speak, giving presentations in front of 600 people from age 10, engaging with literature well above my age level, having discussions with adults about what happens when we die since age 6.

but i grew up slow. i didn’t have a friend who showed me unconditional love until i went to high school, i didn’t know what my own body parts were called until i was well into puberty, i didnt know how to talk or connect to people my own age at all.

you grow up fast and slow under a cult, and it feels impossible to accept that both can be true at the same time.

[prismfever]

shoutout to trans folks with religious trauma who have chosen to reclaim biblical names or names associated with their previous religion <3 the POWER we hold !!! 🤍

[prismfever]

so many adults in my life have done the worst possible shit. breached my privacy, betrayed my trust, endangered me. you name it !!!! and now i’m scared to even ask adults around me for help. ABSOLUTELY TERRIFIED OF IT. why? no fucking clue. like obviously i know they aren’t shitty like the people in my life i’ve had to deal with. but now i just have so much anxiety reaching out to people to ask for help. i hate it

[prismfever]

beyond fucking pissed. the one adult figure i trusted betrayed me. she promised to protect me but instead she directly endangers me. thsi grown fucking woman decided to out me to my mother. i just don’t even know what to do atvthis point anymore. im so fucking done. i hope she knows she is one of the reasons i have trust issues with adults. she was the one fucking person i trusted and she lied to me, breached my privacy, and made me completely lose the trust i once had with her.

[prismfever]

can’t have shit in this house! my phone might be getting confiscated every night from now on. might spend the day deleting everything!!

[prismfever]

Hey I saw your last post, I'm really worried are you okay?

as of right now, I am okay. my parents are just more invasive and suspicious of me now more than ever. I think it’s becoming more and more obvious, I mean I did accidentally out myself. at this point, I think my parents are choosing to ignore it

[prismfever]

i accidentally outed myself today when my mom decided to be a little too nosy. i’m upset but the situation was completely out of my control. i tried passing it off as a joke but i don’t think my parents believe me. im just fucking terrified- im barely sixteen next month. my support group isn’t that reliable as far as places to stay. and in general im just not prepared for the worst to happen :/