“we’ll talk when I get back” is the fictional equivalent of saying “I’m about to die with all information relevant to your plotline”
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@procrastinality
“we’ll talk when I get back” is the fictional equivalent of saying “I’m about to die with all information relevant to your plotline”
The Demon Rose is waking up. You can just about see the first hint of electric pink starting to come through in the bud.
You can also see where she’s pushing so hard up against the house she’s dislodged the window screen. What a clingy baby :D
Oh, I showed one of your posts about the Demon Rose Bush to an organic gardening friend. She’s recommending massive pruning until it gets under control, but considering how high that bitch is I don’t think that’s feasible.
Hahahahaha, we tried to kill this thing when we first moved in back in 2015 by cutting it all the way down to ground level and etd tried to kill the roots with literal poison cause we didnt want to try and deal with pruning something where the largest thorn was the length of my pinky finger. She grew back taller within 4 months, absorbed her trellis into her vines and continued to bloom right up until December. In Minnesota.
Last year she retained her blooms until January of this year. Everything else besides the neighborhood evergreens was dead, and we had hot pink blooms in -20'c weather, in several feet of snow.
Ain’t shit gonna kill this thing, and since Tumblr adopted her as my plant familiar to go with the rest of my weird ass house (the tags new folk are looking for are #the house that cthulu built and #demon rose) I’ve started talking to her and she’s the god damn healthiest most terrifying thing in our yard. I love her.
I’m going to attempt to do some delicate pruning this year and nudge her back onto a trellis (several trellises…trelli?), cause the way her thorns tap against the living room window when the wind blows is a tiny bit unnerving, but yea, nah. 6ft Demon Rose is here to stay. I’ve made my peace with this.
Especially after last year when I made the comment in passing about needing to kill the lily cluster by the side of our house that had spring up in their hundreds (I am very very not good allergic to all lilies), and she expanded outward and quite literally throttled them with her roots. That was…considerate of her…
Holy shit I have a rose in my back garden IDENTICAL to that.
I call it the Felony Rose, since I kindasortamaybe technically stole it.
They were gonna bulldoze an old farmhouse that had this huge (15x20) rosebush growing alongside it. So, I rolled up with the truck and a shovel and a pair of hedge clippers around midnight.
Dug that whole monster out (which involved much sweat, blood, and swearing) whacked it back to a manageable size, and took it home.
It is now in my back garden, eating my coral bells and lilies and cackling to itself as it spreads.
It is also electric pink. It barely even wilted, despite it’s rough treatment.
Also, in the lot they bulldozed to build that new house, suckers of the fucker are coming back.
SHE HAS FAMILY, I CAN’T WAIT TO TELL HER
I MADE A POST ABOUT THIS ROSE JUST THE OTHER DAY
FAMILY PHOTOS
http://systlin.tumblr.com/post/160821072130/the-felony-rose-shown-here-eating-the-lilies-and
Yep! That’s Demon Rose foliage, except 6ft tall and more wild cause all attempts to tame her thus far has resulted in “when was my last tetanus shot and do I need stitches?”
I’m hoping to explain to her this year that we’re not trying to kill her, we just want her to calm down and hug a trellis or two so she can grow in a more controlled and healthy way for her. But we’ll see. She might absorb those trellises into her vines too.
Okay I might need y'all to take DNA samples of both demon roses … Cause that’s some hellish levels of resistance, yield, and growth And like… I might be interested In comparing their genome and Gene expression to the ones of regular roses, cause isolating those factors might help understand adaptability (if no one else did a study on this of course)
PM me your contact info and I’d be happy to send you some bits I pruned off of her for testing.
I’m also going to need a clipping or two of this bush, it could use more family.
I can try to root some cuttings for anyone who wants their very own Demon Rose
I feel like we’re giving in to their plan for world domination but I am okay with this.
What you’re describing sounds an awful lot like a rootstock that’s taken over after the grafted plant died. Modern roses tend to have really crappy roots, so they’re almost always grafted onto the hardiest, most resilient (but not necessarily the prettiest) plant they can find. It’s not uncommon for the grafted part of the rose to die off, the rootstock shrugs, says ‘okay’, and puts up shoots of its own. Here’s a list of commonly used rootstocks, some searching might reveal which type you and @systlin are living with.
That may have happened before you moved in, or it could have happened when you tried to kill it. In which case one of your first actions on moving in was to unchain the demon. I’ll let you figure out what that means and how it’s working out for you. :-D
The closest one it sounds like would be 069 (which of course it fucking is) except for the part about thorns, cause the thorns on this thing rip monstrous gouges out of anything that gets caught on them. That might just be unique to my own personal little bloom of murderous joy though.
I'ma take some cuttings this year and try and transpose them around my yard, see how well she does. If I’m lucky then I’ll eventually have a sleeping beauty castle style defence mechanism for my house. If it happens to let me sleep for 100 years without ageing, more the better.
omg i just realized why mario and luigi are red and green
how i didn’t see that i’m so stupid
and why their clothes turn white when you get the power up
me on the way to get fruit snacks from cvs
A Genie offers you one wish, and you modestly wish to have a very productive 2017. The genie misunderstands, and for the rest of your life, every 20:17 you become impossibly productive for just 60 seconds.
“Well, it was a nice day.” You kiss your sweetheart gently on the forehead and sigh as the last remaining seconds of 20:16 tick away. “See you at 8:18,” you say.
Then it happens. Every ounce of fatigue or hunger leaves your body. The face of your beloved is perfectly still, their expression exactly the same. The ticking of the clock on the wall has stopped. Once again, it’s 20:17.
You stretch your arms and walk to the table with the homework for the three doctorates you’re working on. The work is mentally stimulating and enjoyable, but it’s finished far too quickly. You check your pocket watch and see that not even one hundredth of a second has passed.
You knew it was too soon to be able to see any movement on the watch, but you can never quite help yourself from looking early on every 20:17. Time to move on.
You clean your home, do your budget, then go outside and fix a noise that your car was making earlier that afternoon. (Oh how you already miss afternoons.) Then you go back inside, boot up your computer (which magically speeds up to keep pace with you as long as you’re in contact with it) and check for any new orders.
You’ve set up a website for the small business you started called “Magic Elf Services.” People in your area can pay a modest fee on your site to have different tasks and odd jobs done by “The Magic Elf” at 8:17pm every day. It was a little slow to get started, but word has spread and these days you have a steady stream of clients.
The money that comes in from the business is nice, but you’re mostly grateful that it gives you a clear list of things to do. You print off your updated list of clients, step outside, and start making your way through the neighborhood with your to-do list.
There’s the apartments down your street where several neighbors have hired you to tidy up, do the dishes, and mop the floors. You do the windows too, just to see if they notice. There’s the large house across town that paid the “Magic Elf” to clean out the gutters. After the first dozen jobs are done, you manage to stop looking at your pocket watch.
As near as you’ve been able to determine in the past, 20:17 seems to last for approximately one normal year. But it’s not exact. For one thing, it’s hard to keep track of “time” when everything but you has crawled to an almost total standstill. For another thing, time seems to move differently depending on how “productive” your behavior is. One time you tried to spend all of 20:17 sitting at home in your pajamas, but that was getting you nowhere, so you eventually gave up and got busy. (Though you defiantly stayed in your pajamas the whole time.)
During 20:17 your body doesn’t get tired, hungry, sick, or injured. You’re essentially tireless and immortal for the duration of the “minute.” So sleeping or eating away your boredom has never really worked for you.
One of the houses on your list forgot to follow the instructions and leave a key for you to get in. At first you figure you’ll just send them an email telling them to pay more attention and that you’ll do the job tomorrow. Then you decide to go home, get your locksmith tools, and come back.
After finishing up all the jobs on your list, you go into several other homes and small businesses in the area, performing tasks you hope they’ll find helpful, and leaving a hand-painted business card at each one. (The business cards don’t contain your real name just in case somebody thinks “The Magic Elf” should be subject to breaking and entering laws.)
Speaking of laws, you head down to the local police station to pick up your case file. You’ve been in contact with a detective who’s been investigating corruption within their department, and your ability to investigate unseen and get in almost anywhere between the ticks of the clock has proven invaluable. You see that they’ve also added five missing person cases to your file this evening, which certainly raises your interest in the job.
You make your way through town gathering evidence, and start making your way to the outskirts of town. Since you happen to be out that way (and you’ve already solved three of the five missing person cases) you decide to swing by the stone castle you’re building and do some more work there.
The castle walls stand about 20 feet right now, but you know they’ll be much higher when you’re done. You’re far from any roads and pretty safely tucked away, so for now it’s your little secret. You’ve been excavating and moving all the rock yourself, which has been much easier than you first expected since your body doesn’t get tired or sore. You’ve also got a nice system of tunnels going underneath the castle, and you dig and build more of that network for a while.
All that time spent underground has left you feeling rather lonely, so you walk back home to see the face of your sweetheart. Their facial expression has moved ever so slightly since you last saw them, which is a comfort to you. Looking at them gets your imagination going and makes you dream up a story you’d like to tell, so you sit on your couch, plug in your laptop, and write a book.
After you finish editing the last chapter for the third time, you finally allow yourself to look at your pocket watch again. Three seconds have officially passed so far.
It’s gonna be a long 20:17.
Wow, Dave. You managed to take a concept that seems nice on the exterior and make it into a real nightmare. This is some good stuff.
Which is EXACTLY why you should never trust a wish-granting djinn.
Reenactor throws a spear at a drone
What a time to be alive.
“The medieval warrior, realizing the consequences of his impulsive act, immediately approached the owner of the drone and offered to pay for the damage.
The owner of the drone was so impressed by the brilliant attack that he suggested organizing a competition for bringing down “dragons” with short spears next year.
Drone owners have another year to develop a unique “dragon-like” design for their flying machines.” (x)
I am 100% cooler with this knowing that the spear-thrower realized “oops maybe I shouldn’t have done that” and tried to make it right, and that the guy who the drone belonged to was cool with it
just so everyone knows, this has already been memorialized in a runestone
me, a dumbass, two weeks ago: why is it so cold its literally the month of May like
me now that the heat is Here:
i asked the million dollar man the million dollar question
The Hirsch Man made me draw it
i asked the million dollar man the million dollar question
Death offers a game for your life. You decide on D&D.
“I assume you’ve never played?” I asked. The cloaked figure across from me shook their head slowly. “Great,” I said. “I’ll be the DM. I’ll walk you through everything. First, character creation.” Six hours later Death sat leaned over the table with a mountain dew in one hand and a D20 in the other. Their hood was thrown back to reveal a bleached grinning skull. We were in the company of four infernals from the depths of the Abyss. I don’t remember which of us invited each of them. Turned out we had quite a few friends in common. They rolled a one. “Oohh, tough luck,” I said with a smile. “Fuck. This is the best time I’ve had in centuries, but I really should get back to work,” they said reluctantly. “Yeah…” One of the demons agreed. “I actually have a meeting with some senators in like an hour.” “Same time next week?” Death asked. “I’ll be here,” I agreed. I suspected they knew before we started that this was a game that didn’t have to have an end and didn’t have a winner.
Just a little random inspiration.
https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/ultimate_game.png
Part of me is very fascinated with the idea of mmo rping that’s this complex/multi-layered and the other part of me is concerned that this person dedicated the time to do something this Fucked Up
But I want to know how the others reacted. And if this person had a good in-character motive for this.
ok i’m just going to ask
I got a response.
Oh my god it gets worse
DIY Stop-motion animation I did for fun last week using 2 Modibot figures, green masking tape, and 2 vegetable cutting boards.
(Hi-res version here)
I’ve been wanting to try this for a long time now. Aside from filming toy action figures, this was the first time trying to do actual stop-motion animation. It was super hard animating straight ahead without being able to go back to redo poses, but the challenge very addicting!
Even though the Modibot figure I animated isn’t a pro kinetic stop-motion armature, I was surprised how well the plastic figure could hold a pose.
The stock Modibot was only $10 on Amazon! At that price I definitely recommend it as a super inexpensive way to try out stop-motion. I did however buy some additional 3D printed parts from Shapeways to modify it to have clavicles and an extra spine joint for better posing.
Below is the first test I did earlier last week. I used the masking tape as a sticky surface for the feet to tie-down to, and a green Modibot for the rig arm.
I animated the run next. Here’s the green screen version:
Shot using a 1080p Logitech webcam with TV Paint, and composited in After Effects:
I’ll go into more detail on the figure setup, animation, and compositing process in a future post if anyone is interested. :)
god damn this is neat~
God bless the maker of this theme.
This is amazing. The image of the game turning around and round matched with the music was oddly hilarious…
Please tell me when you switch the thing off, it yells WHY! WHY! WHYYY!
I’m actually the creator of this theme, and it took me 7 months to realize someone made a video about it! If I recall correctly, when you open a game it says “I’ll have to give myself a promotion”. And when you open the console (if turned on), it says “Snooping as usual I see”.
https://3dsthem.es/?q=robotnik
this post has fucked me up more than any other on this site
Okay but no, do you understand what happens to a caterpillar once it’s in its cocoon? It completely turns into goo. That’s right, GOO. The damn thing dissolves and the reforms into the butterfly. Even crazier, the wings of the butterfly are already inside the caterpillar, ready to go, just waiting to float around in some goo and then be a beautiful butterfly. The craziest part?!? A study was done where some caterpillars were exposed to a certain smell and then given an electric shock so eventually the caterpillar associated the smell with the shock. Well after those little hairy noodles came out of the their cocoons as butterflies, they exposed them to the smell again and the butterflies reacted super negatively, as if they were being shocked. A.K.A. not only is there wings floating around in that goo cocoon, there is also a brain, the same, unaltered brain as the caterpillar. The butterfly can recall its days as a caterpillar even after basically being turned into soup. And then it all somehow gets its shit together to be a stupid majestic little beast, and I can’t even remember where I put my damn phone.
THIS IS FUCKING CRAZY
also of note! caterpillar (and other insects with indirect development) lifespans are dictated by hormones! the first is juvenile hormone, which is present through their pupa stage. juvenile hormone basically keeps them AS caterpillars and, due to environmental factors such as size or season, will decrease in concentration in the system over time.
if you expose a caterpillar to juvenile hormone, it will not become a butterfly and stay a caterpillar! sadly, this doesn’t make them immortal and the caterpillar will live no longer than it would have if it’d pupated.
the second hormone, which i totally forget the name of, is what makes the caterpillar do the whole metamorphosis thing! this hormone is always in the system, but the juvenile hormone keeps it from having an effect.
How Long is this Fic Really?: A Guide
Word count in the HP Series:
Sorcerer’s Stones: 76,944 Chamber of Secrets: 85,141 Prisoner of Azkaban: 107,253 Goblet of Fire: 190,637 Order of the Phoenix: 257,045 Half-Blood Prince: 168,923 Deathly Hallows: 198,227
Word count in the LOTR Series:
The Hobbit: 95,022 Fellowship of the Ring: 177,227 Two Towers: 143,436 Return of the King: 134,462
This changed me
I’ve read/ am reading fic that are upwards to 150,000 - 200,000. You’re telling me that authors that write for fun are writing a full-length book for the fun of it? They have earned my respect 10 fold.
A friendly reminder.
Adding on to this by reminding everyone to leave feedback on fics. Seriously, y’all, fic writers put their heart, soul, blood, sweat, tears, and time into their writing. The least that you could do is let them know you enjoyed their works.