Professionally Distracted

I'm a mess, but somehow I've convinced my boss I'm not.

[ithelpstodream]

[teambuckaroo]

I have never related to anything more in my life

[glumshoe]

A friend of mine recently unshelved her adhesive silicone breast forms for my examination. They were a very satisfying texture, kind of like stress balls, and after a few minutes I zoned back in and realized that I’d just been… kneading on them like a cat while we talked.

[lover-fighter-writer-nerd]

“I’m sorry I stimmed on your boobs” is maybe the best tag I’ve ever read on this hellsite.

[glumshoe]

They were in a box at the time and she wasn’t wearing them, if that’s any less weird.

[tssbnchn]

Tássia Bianchini, 2017

Website | Tumblr | Store

[batmannotes]

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

CRY FOR JUST ICE

[theunvanquishedzims]

Werewolves are stereotyped as ravenous monsters because the transformations burn so many calories that they’re essentially starving afterwords. The more “controlled” werewolves are just the ones who figured this out and loaded up on calories beforehand, whereas the “wild” ones assume it’s part of their wolfish nature to hunt and eat whatever’s nearby.

The transformation back burns calories too, but by that point they’re exhausted from running around in the woods all night, not to mention the physical strain of two transformations. And filthy people showing up at Denny’s in the early morning are assumed to be hungover, so the ravenous beast idea is applied only to the wolf half.

[clownin-uwu]

are you suggesting people who eat at denny’s are essentially werewolves

[aridotdash]

not just essentially 

[mihri-the-sasscatte]

Size comparison of Y’gathok, the Ceaseless Hunger and Bjorn, our level 20 Goliath Barbarian.

[professorsparklepants]

Hey quick question: why the FUCK do you have that

[kittyopteryx]

Imagine, from out of nowhere, your dm casually slapping this thing down on the table like any other encounter.

[mooretimetoplay]

“Yeah, the fight will start in a sec, uh…I’ll give inspiration to whomever helps me get this fucking box out of my car.”

[necrowemancer]

https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/7asxci/oc_ygathok_the_ceaseless_hunger_final_boss_of_our/ This is the reveal of this ridiculousness during their game

[ruffboi-mags]

HOLY FUCKING SHIT YALL.

This is some A fuckin plus DMing right there it’s so deliciously over the top and unnecessary and PERFECT.

Seriously tho LOVE that bit at the end. That tiny “I don’t think our plan is gonna work…”

[velvet-apricots]

this is an amazing end to a campaign. What an Amazing first game for the DM.

[mihri-the-sasscatte]

Thanks for capping this! This is the end of our campaign, for those that were curious!

[bootyunit]

when i saw this i couldn’t believe it didn’t have music

[danthesantana]

I hope to one day exude as much raw energy as this man does.

[wearepeasant]

the god of chaos

[kuroshikat]

What color is his shirt

[supacutiepie]

I LOOKED HIM UP AND YA’LL DONT UNDERSTAND

He is a  fucking bull riding stripper….

[mythicalpiranha-moved-deactivat]

well THIS is certainly an unexpected turn of events

[nekoamamori]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

You are a healer working with the Avengers when Loki comes to join the team

Chapter 13 is up :)  Happy reading!

[goldcrescent]

We all thought Loki was the odd one out but it turns out Thor is actually the friendly jock middle child in a family of bitchy drama club goths

[moved-to-ofswordsandpens]

[madamelesfressange]

                                    Sleepyhead Fantasy (Series 1)

1.Pavlovsk Palace, Pavlovsk Russia

2. Gatchina Palace, Saint Petersburg Russia

3. Versailles, Versailles France

4. Herrenchiemsee Palace, Herrenchiemsee Germany

5. Harewood House, Yorkshire England

6. Sagredo Palace, Venice Italy

7. Osterely Park, London, England

8. Stupinigi Palace, Turin Italy

[professionalydistracted]

it constantly baffles me when coworkers make off handed comments about how focused and organized I am.

its like - are thinking of someone else? Is there an actually organized person behind me? Do you not see how much time I accidently waste on social media while doing 'research'? Have you SEEN my notes?

No?

Well then you're still crazy.

[conways]

something that people really dont understand about ADHD is that we dont “jump from one idea to the next”

we have very fast, very associative minds that connect ideas. we have a train of thought, it just goes WAY faster than yours!

example: im thinking about dogs. that makes me think of pitbulls, which makes me think of an animal planet show i enjoy. the show connects to tv in general, which makes me think of my favorite cartoon. i associate my favorite cartoon with art and animation, and i wind up thinking about shading techniques.

TL;DR: having ADHD is kinda like playing a lifelong game of 7 Degrees of Kevin Bacon

[gazztron]

…WHAT THE FUCK

[professionalydistracted]

So, I was warned before a phone conference that this particular client is severely ADHD - he's a great client, but incredibly hard to follow and keep on track.

Jump to halfway through the call.. And my team is baffled that I'm following them and bouncing off of them without and problems. My CEO is confused. My director is lost.

And the two of us are just going down our check lists. Once we get off on a tangent, one of us would jump to the next bullet point.

It made sense to us.

[professionalydistracted]

having one of those days where I WANT to get up and do shit, but I'm head achy and have brain fog, so I'm dicking around on Tumblr instead of playing games, painting, or doing chores.

TBH this is why I will probably never make it as a freelancer, despite desperately wanting to be my own boss

[professionalydistracted]

ADHD Adulting is going to the store for JUST an onion to make soup, and leaving with beer, chicken, and avacados.

No onion.

[eclecticwitchings]

a reminder to autistic people

we’re not less autistic if we know how to act allistic in public, with friends, with family members and ect.

a lot of times we have to do this as a defense mechanism to keep ourselves safe from ableists and there is nothing wrong with that.

you are still autistic no matter what it is you have to do to keep yourself safe, and your still autistic no matter what anyone says.

[prokopetz]

Concept: a tabletop roleplaying campaign where all of the party members are drawn a tribe of Lawful Good kobolds serving a gold dragon. A very, very patient gold dragon.

[prokopetz]

Potential PC concepts include:

A paladin of Bahamut with an incredible Olde English accent (affected, of course - they think that’s how paladins talk, and no-one has been able to persuade them otherwise)

A dragonsoul sorcerer with enthusiastically terrible aim, who mostly uses their high Charisma to apologise

A rogue ostensibly seeking redemption for their extremely complicated Dark Past, the particulars of which never seem to be the same twice

A bard who serves as the tribe’s lorekeeper, and plays the role with a great deal more confidence than their actual grasp of the historical record warrants

A long-suffering fighter whose uncommon command of common sense is mitigated by their poor observational skills

[prokopetz]

More:

Lawful Good or not, humans mistrust kobolds on principle, so certain measures have to be taken when your quests take you to human lands. Past efforts include three kobolds standing on each other’s shoulders with a hat of disguise (it generally ends poorly), and “I’m actually a very short dragonborn” (it works more often than you’d think).

On the flip side, trying to “act natural” when confronted with other monstrous humanoids in order to take advantage of their automatic assumption that you’re on Team Evil. Unfortunately, Lawful Good kobolds have very little notion of how a Chaotic Evil person behaves; fortunately, most larger baddies don’t really pay attention to kobolds anyway.

Pissing off other dragons by converting their kobold servants to Lawful Goodness.

[prokopetz]

(Late in the campaign, there’s a scenario where the party has to go undercover as ordinary minions, and the whole thing is basically them Clark Kenting their way through a series of potentially lethal misadventures, where the challenge is less surviving and more getting through it all without giving away the fact that you’ve got like 20 Strength and fifteen hit dice, or whatever.)