Sun's out buns out

Sometimes dead is better - just read pet semetary.

[wordfather]

ok im writing. what the hell happens after The

[moldavite]

really wish some things had turned out differently

[shaydh]

Durgetash brainrot continues

[gaydiation-poisoning]

It would kill half the 19-25 year olds online to realize "I can't help it I have trauma" is one of THE quintessential abuser excuses

[gaydiation-poisoning]

Like there is a difference between "My trauma creates impulsive urges and has changed my instinctive reactions to be irrational, I need to relearn shit." vs "I'm traumatized so I Can't Help It and you're not allowed to expect better of me"

[anthraxofeffervescence]

The core conceit of Lord of the Rings is pretty funny. You are a twenty three year old in a suburb of Maine. The little bracelet in your grandpa’s attic has an inscription on it that is the password to the world’s entire nuclear arsenal. It is up to you to walk to the only hydraulic press in the world, located in Arizona, before the FBI finds the bracelet, kills you, and enslaves the suburb of Maine you currently live in

[anthraxofeffervescence]

Also the 90-year old hobo that your grandpa beat in a rap battle for possession of the bracelet while hiding from the Romanian secret police really loved the bracelet because it was coated in small amounts of LSD and tried to hunt and kill your grandpa to get it back. He was then apprehended by the FBI and instantly gave them your grandpa’s address. Seal Team Six is about to break down your door and shoot you, says your local congressman who can also do cool magic tricks

[bloodyraven1001]

There's a guy in NY who MIGHT be capable of destroying the codes but won't coz he simply wants to spend time with his wife. So it's up to your grandpa's old friend in rural Ohio to get you the friends capable of finishing the task.

[ariaste]

And we must not, at any point, remember the existence of aircraft and ask aloud why we can't just fly to Arizona

[horizon-penblade]

We can't use aircraft because the fbi has access to all the flight data how many times do we need to go over this

[profoundsheepsandwich]

The Evil that Men Do - Chapter 4

Read on Ao3! Male drow Dark Urge x Astarion VERY slow burn.

The elf licked his dry lips. A sip wouldn’t hurt. It was the ultimate test to make sure Cazador was truly out of his head. He checked his companions. Their focus was still on the bounty. The bandit weakened by the second. Surely, they wouldn't notice if he drained this poor, jumpy fool dry.  “Shouldn’t we put him out of his misery?” The question fled Astarion's mouth before he could stop it. Disgust festered at the back of his tongue. Mercy was something never afforded to him.  The group looked over their shoulders with varying degrees of surprise. It was beyond answer how they had ignored the bandit's increasingly loud and desperate wheezing.  A tinge of color flushed Gale’s cheeks, as though he were embarrassed by his earlier indifference. “Perhaps we should assuage any unnecessary suffering,” he said. “Oh, sure. Go ahead, Astarion,” Kieran said, returning to his and Shadowheart’s inspection of the various herbs and strange alchemical ingredients among the supplies. Once the others refocused on their plunder, Astarion fixated on the man’s bloody fingers. If he wanted to sneak a drink, now was the time. His companions definitely wouldn't turn their heads and catch him.  One swift stab to the chest was what silenced the bandit's heartbeat. A corpse's blood was no reward to blow his cover over, but Astarion's fragile self-restraint still strained under the temptation to fall to his knees and lap it up while it was still fresh. A ruby droplet fell from the edge of his blade and plopped onto the floor. Thirst punished his tongue and throat. He stared at the dagger clenched in his fist. Perhaps there was a more dignified and discreet option at his disposal. 

Thank you again to @drow-drow-drow for the tag! Gentle tag for anyone else.

[golyadkin]

you'll get the urge as an artist or a writer to say out loud the things you're worried about "the proportions are off" "kind of out of character" "i'm not good at summaries" "didn't get as much detail as i wanted" "i made a mistake and here's how" and that's the self-conscious part of your brain telling you "it's bad and if you don't tell them you know it's bad then they'll think you're stupid" but you've got to ignore that little voice and pretend you think it's good or else that little voice is going to ruin your life

[incognito-insomniac]

Some of the best advice I have ever gotten was from a creative writing professor. She said never apologize for your work. Never critic it before someone else does.

Her reasoning was you are the creator. You made your work from nothing and can see all the flaws and seems and holes. But your audience may not see any of it. Maybe they will; maybe they won't. But if you TELL them about the holes and the mistakes and the problems....they will 100% see them. So don't tell them. Don't sabotage yourself just because you think you're not good enough.

[7dmom]

Sorry we don't talk any more. You said something 24 months And 17 days ago around noon when cancer was in the sky that implied the evil in your heart. I could have fixed you but I didn't because low key I don't need that megative energy in my life anymore. The evil is still in you btw.

[angelicguy]

me and the boys have a couple of chains wrapped around the sword in the stone hooked up to mikes toyota tundra gonna pull that fucker out like a tooth.

[seaweed-station]

Me and the boys misunderstood the arcane nature of the stone and now the Toyota is king of England

[drow-drow-drow]

The Underdark Confection

Chapter 10 is live 💖❤️‍🔥

While waiting to be summoned as the final flourish to a lucrative deal, a chance encounter proves there is worth beyond coin. For a brief moment, tarry turns theatre, and performance becomes play.

Read it on AO3

Feather-light boops @profoundsheepsandwich, @cep-stories

Want me to tag you for updates to Serpentine? Comment and I’ll add you to the next one 💜

[subaru-copilot]

im so sorry that you're doomed by the narrative but i really need you to answer my message on Microsoft Teams

[profoundsheepsandwich]

Last lines written

Upcoming chapter for The Evil That Men Do

Read on AO3! Drow Dark Urge/Astarion enemies to lovers

Thank you @drow-drow-drow for the tag!

The barbarian rose to his feet, his breath coming out in deep huffs reminiscent of a bull, still fixated on Gale. He charged again with his club raised high. 

“Flagra!” Shadowheart cast another bolt of radiant light. It flew past the barbarian’s head, scorching but a few hairs.

Astarion watched the display in abject horror.  

“Gale, run!” Kieran shouted. The barbarian barreled into the drow and knocked him aside in his pursuit of wizard flesh. Kieran's rapier skittered from his hand and across the floor.

Gale staggered to his feet and clutched his staff as he ran towards the doorway the barbarian had come through.

“Not that way!” Kieran yelled from the floor.

Astarion cursed under his breath. They had no idea how many bandits waited on the other side, but Gale was panicking. The barbarian closed in on him. There was no way a wizard who had spent gods knew how long cloistered in a tower could outrun him.

Gentle tag for @crooked-wasteland if you want to share anything ♥️

[ampervadasz]

[bemusedlybespectacled]

I realize this is a cast iron gate but I’m choosing to believe it’s a magic protection ritual

[princecharmingtobe]

It IS a magic protection ritual, and it summons an iron gate to protect you from intruders. 

[rando-posts]

“I cast Iron Gate!”

[dogpuppy]

[mandywondering]

I mean, in some very interesting Technically Correct ways, they didn't actually die? Now, they're very much no longer alive. But the forces involved are such that they didn't get any of the usual cellular processes of death, they simply went from biology to physics in less time than it takes a signal to travel down your optic nerve.

[dietspam16]

if you go from biology to physics without dying first you don’t go to heaven the uber driver went over this already

[bohemienne6]

i just love gortash so much like. how can you hate this man. he puts orphan bombs in teddy bears for fucks sake. his villain origin story was getting sold to andrew lloyd weber. he dresses exactly like a 50-year old visual kei has-been let loose in hot topic would dress and crushes it every day. he's the ultimate wifeguy and the worst person alive. im kissing him and shoving him down the stairs

[redtuple]

so maybe i like his outfit...

[mwagneto]

taking a break from my mental health to focus on watching a tv show

[mwagneto]

nobody UNDERSTANDS this post!! this is NOT about feeling BAD and watching your COMFORT show!!! this is about feeling FINE but then CHOOSING to watch a show that makes you want to KILL YOUR SELF