Digital Pets

30/He/Him/Bi My avatar was commissioned from "iamuniverse" on Chickensmoothie. My blog uhhh background of the two dragons, Cirrocumulus and Cilantro was a gift from my husband Overlordmaine<3

[bbeelzemon]

delta the kobold druid and garion the pteranodon figurine for @ptero-cards !!

[ptero-cards]

My very first OCs I ever made came out so well thanks to V-pet!!! Thank you so much!!

[yorhaw]

[maidthings]

every time i say velociraptor is very important to imagine a turkey-sized predatory bird and not the weird lizard thing from jurassic park

[maidthings]

you have to love her. you have to

[cheaphalloweencostume]

its actually kinda crazy that Grima Wormtongue eats a hobbit in the books

[cheaphalloweencostume]

like okay

[tolkienmatters]

"'Wormtongue!’ called Frodo. ‘You need not follow him. I know of no evil you have done to me. You can have rest and food here for a while, until you are stronger and can go your own ways.’

Wormtongue halted and looked back at him, half prepared to stay. Saruman turned. ‘No evil?’ he cackled. ‘Oh no! Even when he sneaks out at night it is only to look at the stars. But did I hear someone ask where poor Lotho is hiding? You know, don’t you, Worm? Will you tell them?’

Wormtongue cowered down and whimpered: ‘No, no!’

‘Then I will,’ said Saruman. ‘Worm killed your Chief, poor little fellow, your nice little Boss. Didn’t you, Worm stabbed him in his sleep, I believe. Buried him, I hope; though Worm has been very hungry lately. No, Worm is not really nice. You had better leave him to me.’

A look of wild hatred came into Wormtongue’s red eyes. ‘You told me to; you made me do it,’ he hissed.

Saruman laughed. ‘You do what Sharkey says, always, don’t you, Worm? Well, now he says: follow!’ He kicked Wormtongue in the face as he grovelled, and turned and made off. But at that something snapped: suddenly Wormtongue rose up, drawing a hidden knife, and then with a snarl like a dog he sprang on Saruman’s back, jerked his head back, cut his throat, and with a yell ran off down the lane. Before Frodo could recover or speak a word, three hobbit-bows twanged and Wormtongue fell dead."

Kinda crazy that Grima Wormtongue eats a hobbit, Return of the King, The Scouring of the Shire.

[tapacamino]

''You told me to, you made me do it'' is crazy. Like I can understand being told to murder someone, but then Saruman was like: ''Hey maybe you should eat him too. I order you to.''

[sandandglass]

The Muppets s01e01

[le-sad-demiurge]

Fozzy getting hit on by lots of twinks

[cheshireinthemiddle]

Happy Pride Month

[comicgeekscomicgeek]

Ten years later, this bit still slaps. They made a great pun and realized they could be nice/inclusive with it too.

[charlesoberonn]

Female Dwarves - With or without beards?

With beards

Without beard

Remaining time: 5 days 2 hours

[charlesoberonn]

Child Dwarves - With or without beards?

With beards

Without beards

Remaining time: 5 days 2 hours

[charlesoberonn]

Baby Dwarves - With or without beards?

With beards

Without beards

Remaining time: 5 days 2 hours

[charlesoberonn]

They shed their baby beards to make room for their adult beards. Like with baby teeth.

[vicholas]

Why are people now saying "LARP" when they mean "poser". It's confusing.

[vicholas]

Everyone is always parroting The Buzzword Of The Month without actually knowing what it means or where it comes from, make it stop

[gunsandfireandshit]

Kinda like how "POV" went from "(implied first person) Point Of View" to "there is a video"

[shamebats]

[contemptible-scoundrel]

my cursed sword doesn't even tell me to kill people anymore it keeps begging me to put on a skirt and tights

[contemptible-scoundrel]

I already know I'm a girl dickhead I just like wearing pants

[wizardelf]

[eoh666]

playground insults in 2030: dude your dad looks like ai generated gay porn

[datadegroove-deactivated2026042]

penis isn't real. pussy isn't even real. the only thing that is real, is the pleasure of combat

[damazcuz]

friend: please drink tonight you're so weird when you're sober

me: i promise i'll be regular

friend: okay as long as you promise

me: (zero beers in) (unprompted) the humble mole can dig up to 100x its body weight in soils each day. The humble mole can survive on a single worm for 80 nights. The humble mole can meditate for 1001 moons uninterrupted. The humble mole can forgive.

[asteroidtroglodyte]

I love a good HFY / Humans Are Space Orks post, and I think one element of Humans we’re sleeping on is an instinctual understanding of ballistics.

I mean, I get why it’s not as popular here on Tumblr dot com, given it’s kinda a jock/military adjacent thing, but like. Our ability to just. Pick up a small, firm object, judge its internal inertia and mass by holding it for a bit, and then flinging it with the kind of accuracy and speed Humans are capable of is.

Like there’s another post about how Humans in an alien zoo would probably be breaking out constantly, since we consider escape rooms to be a fun courtship ritual, but

imagine the aliens who are designing the enclosures just so happen to pick up, say, a devoted amateur baseball pitcher. Not even a legend by any means, just somebody who’s practiced with intention. And one day they’re watching her pass some time and blow off some steam by doing some pitching practice and they realize to their mounting horror that this gal can turn literally anything she can wrap her digits around into a ballistic weapon.

[nolaplantdaddy]

I love when people ask "how did you learn this skill?" I just started, there's no secret. that's it. a vast majority of the time the only thing holding you back is your trepidation to start.

[noegrets]

[half-gobbled-piece-of-toast]

“I ain’t reading all that” your brain is rotting and shrinking

[marisatomay]

Happy Pride