Puddle of Tales

Media business professional, writer and artist

[cai--xukun-deactivated20200408]

Reblog this if you would openly support an idol if they came out as gay, bisexual or trans 💕🌹

[puddleoftales]

종현아~ You have been dead for over a month now. Sometimes it seems like a lot of time has passed since then, sometimes it seems like none at all. To be honest I wasn’t too sad at first when you died because I pushed the thought of your passing far away. I didn’t want to deal with it and - most of all - I didn’t believe this had actually happened. Your death didn’t feel real to me.

But then, two weeks ago, I was watching a new episode of Hello Counselor and YouTube kept recommending an older episode to me when you had been a guest on the show. And I thought to myself ‘what harm can it do to watch it?’ But deep down I knew it would hurt. And it did. I cried a lot while watching it. You were so sweet and empathetic, you interacted well with the guests seeking solutions to their problems and actually gave great advice. I couldn’t stop watching old videos with you in it after that. Videos I’d mostly already watched during the past nine years.

I don’t really know if I am a shawol. To be honest I don’t think I have a ‘fan personality’. But SHINee has been the only K-pop band so far I ever bought a full-length album by. And SHINee’s music was my go-to happy music. And it will be again in the future. Just now, I can’t listen to it without crying. So I guess I am a shawol in one way or another.

I didn’t listen to SHINee at the beginning of my Hallyu journey. I listened to Super Junior and Girls’ Generation and Kim Hyun-joong of SS501 was my first ever K-pop crush. I tried to improve my Korean while listening to their music. But I was always open to new groups and when SHINee released the 'Hello’ video in 2010 I got hooked. Of course I’d heard about 'Noona Neomu Yeppeo’ before but 'Hello’ was exceptionally sweet. I didn’t notice you though - Minho was my bias, Onew was the leader, Taemin the cute one and Key the sassy one. You were always just the fifth one, the one who’s name and face I couldn’t remember.

This changed in 2013 because of the Kang Eun-ha incident. You stood up for somebody not a lot of people in South Korea (and numerous other countries) stand up for. I hope you didn’t face any consequences by your record company because of that. But I know some netizens gave you a hard enough time. Looking back you were so brave, you were braver than I’ve ever been in my life up to now. And it pains me that you paid such a high prize for that back then. As far as I know, you were such a decent person, a good person. And we had to let you go…

I started to like you because you showed your sympathy for Kang Eun-ha. As a bisexual it meant a lot to me to have an ally to our - the LGBTQ - cause in the entertainment world. After Hong Suk-chon suffered so much a few years ago your support was a huge deal. I took a greater interest in you after that. You turned from the one guy in SHINee I always forgot about to the one I admired most in an instant. I was so proud of you when I found out that you wrote songs for SHINee’s - and your own - albums. And I was also proud when you published your first book. In a sea of seemingly interchangeable idols you stood out because you spoke about social issues and had made the hard transformation from a K-pop trainee to a serious artist. Because of this liking you seemed more sincere… I didn’t like you for superficial reasons like other Hallyu stars but because I admired your personality and your talent. You were such a special, beautiful person - not just to me but to many others as well.

It’s so hard to concentrate these days. I’m busy at work but often my thoughts drift to you and I’m fighting back tears because you’re not here anymore. But why does your death hurt me so much, why do I keep crying whenever I think of you? I never even knew you. Is it because I have no other, bigger problems? I wonder about this… And my family and friends keep wondering, too, saying that I shouldn’t care so much about you, that I should only care about the people who are actually in my life. People I actually know. But the point is, I keep thinking that I knew you. The problem is that SM Entertainment put you in so many variety programs and talk shows - Star Golden Bell, Running Man, 1 Day 2 Nights, Happy Together, SNL Korea (technically not a variety program or talk show…) and many, MANY more - that I basically witnessed you and your band mates grow up. I mean, Taemin was 14 when you debuted. He was freaking tiny. You all were… And you felt like you were my dongsaengs. I watched you performing your first song, I watched you taking care of a toddler in Hello Baby, I watched you competing at the Idol Olympics, I watched Taemin getting married on We Got Married, I watched you going on a vacation on One Fine Day. And I remember very clearly that I worried about you when you told us about having insomnia on One fine Day. I hoped that it wouldn’t lead to health problems, physically and psychologically. But in the end it did. Or did your depression cause insomnia? We’ll never know…

Words you spoke on your radio show Blue Night helped me getting through tough times in my life. I’m heartbroken nobody helped (or was able to help) you getting through your tough times… What hurts the most is the fact that I feel like your death would have been avoidable - if only the world had been a little bit different, a little bit better. But this can be said about many deaths, right?

In your parting letter you asked why people live. I often ask myself the same question. Most of the time life just seems really futile. So I haven’t found a satisfactory answer to the question yet, I wouldn’t have been able to help you. 'Just because’ isn’t good enough, you were right. Still, I’m sad you ended your life because it didn’t mean anything but pain and suffering to you anymore. But I know how much depression drains you so I understand.

I couldn’t go to your memorial site yet so I just bought some flowers here, thinking of you. But I will return to Korea soon and visit the site then. I hope you are at peace now. I pray for your family, for your friends and bandmates. I pray for the shawol community - let’s heal together. I’m so glad I have you to share my pain with, you are the only ones who fully understand. And I pray for everybody working in the Korean entertainment industry - I know you lead a hard life so take care of yourself, just like IU said.

Goodbye now, Jonghyun. 수고했어. You worked hard. You really did.

[puddleoftales]

Awkward femme problems... 😂 #butch #femme #lgbt #lgbtq #problems #gyno #art #artistoninstagram #drawing #cartoon #cartoonart #cartoonist #cartoondrawing #comic #caricature #illustration #zeichnen #zeichnung #kunst #그림 #미술 #만화

[puddleoftales]

The Calling of the Siren #phone #addiction #apps #cartoon #cartoonart #cartoondrawing #cartoonist #cartoonartist #art #artistoninstagram #illustration #caricature

[puddleoftales]

My condolences to everybody whose world got turned upside down by Brexit, too - now and in the future. #brexit #2016 #uk #scotland #dreams #cartoon #cartoonart #cartoondrawing #caricature

[puddleoftales]

We're just hanging out. Being sore like crazy... #pms #boobs #girlproblems #cartoon #cartoonart #cartoondrawing #caricature

[puddleoftales]

Everyone is talking about the NSA. These people are doing something about it.

By now you've heard that the U.S. gov't is watching your every move. Now turn concern to action.

[puddleoftales]

What I learned from watching too many episodes of The Vampire Diaries in too little time - Part 2

All vampires are serious alcoholics (and a great deal of the (often underage) humans, too). The scenes in which dirty Damon doesn’t have a drink in his paw can probably be counted on the fingers of one hand (that includes all of his scenes from season one to four). As I’ve recently learned it helps with the craving (meaning it prevents vampires from chewing people’s heads of). I have a slight suspicion that it’s more like product placement number two: the liquor lobby is probably paying the CW to feature iced tea masquerading as the most extravagant alcoholic beverages on-screen. But I don’t believe any more that the scotch or bourbon or whatever it is they’re supposed to be drinking there is helping them with any craving – I think it has become their craving.

There’s a whole lot of partying going on in Mystic Falls. In almost every episode they’re throwing some sort of fancy bash. I don’t know about your town but where I come from festivities (especially official ones) are pretty scarce. But in the city of cryptic waterfalls there’s always something going on. Okay, yeah, the fete in the first episode was a bit of a downer though: that lame hillbilly keg in the woods wasn’t really classy. But it slowly got better: they have a whole lot of founder’s parties down at the mayor’s stately manor where they also celebrate the Miss Mystic Falls Pageant every year. Downtown there’s Comet Night and a parade to commemorate the city founding only a few centuries ago (if you look at that from other countries’ perspectives where settlements have often been established a few thousand years back celebrating the fact one’s town has been around for what isn’t much longer than the average lifespan of a Japanese citizen seems a bit bizarre). And let’s not forget about all the epic retro school dances including homecoming, junior prom and prom. Okay, maybe they have to entertain the townsfolk like that since Mystic Falls is probably an outpost in the middle of nowhere and all other potentially amusing places are in a land far far away. Besides – if they didn’t organize some diversion everybody would probably hang out at Mystic Grill all day getting hammered there instead of at the Lockwood residence.

Apparently American guys are all hunky muscular studs and American girls all dolled up foxy cookies. Seriously, I know it’s television and pretty much all American shows ignore the raging obesity problem in this society. But sometimes I just wish that audiovisual media was a little more realistic (though I’m probably the only one). Nowadays it’s totally normal to have hot, model-like twentysomethings masquerading as fetching pimple-free high school students (the only thing that takes away some of Stefan’s and Damon’s sexiness are the ugly disproportional signet rings – but that’s a question of taste, of course). I feel like the awkward age of adolescence is partially ignored – at least when it comes to portraying today’s kids more reasonably. These ‘Mystic Falls teenagers’ all look like their favorite hangout is the local muscle factory and as if all they munch all day – besides protein bars and blood – are celery sticks. It’s funny that they’re (almost) never shown working out or eating healthy low-fat stuff. I figure they’re just born gorgeous. Except for their teeth – I could swear those are getting brighter and shinier by the episode. Maybe they have a subscription for teeth bleaching at the local dentist. It must be since drinking blood for hundreds of years should stain your choppers a little (as does smoking on set). I don’t know about you but perfect people like these always put a damper on the viewing experience for me because while following the storyline I still can’t stop a part of my brain noticing their transcendent perfection and envy it. That’s why watching Girls would be much more relaxing (why didn’t I develop an unhealthy addiction to that show?)… But if you’re a four-eyes like me you still have to resort to iconic 80’s series like ALF to feel good about yourself: obviously you can never look as dorky as Willie Tanner (sorry Max Wright) – even if you try really hard.

Most vampires are affluent but nobody – but them perhaps – knows how they actually got rich (I don’t want to go as far as to seriously praise the Twilight Series but at least Stephenie Meyer made up some more or less convincing stories about how her vampires had come to fortune). They don’t work. So do they have some secret ancient Swiss bank account we don’t know about? Well, that sounds reasonable. They simply inherited! They’re the trust fund kids of Mystic Falls! Or they just compel people to transfer enormous amounts of money into their bank accounts every once in a while. It’s just that pretty much all of them seem to live a life full of luxury where money isn’t a problem but you never get to know how they actually earn their bread. You just watch them spend it. On liquor, of course…

And one question to finish this whole thing off: what happened to the fog and the raven Damon used in the first few episodes to creep out his victims? Did the producers decide that the character simply didn’t like to scare people anymore that way or did their budget for fog machines and animal trainers get cut? But maybe they just realized that stuff was overly dramatic and infantile. I don’t know. Just wanted to ask…

[puddleoftales]

What I learned from watching too many episodes of The Vampire Diaries in too little time - Part 1

The vampires here seriously waste a lot of blood. When feeding (not on normal human food like salad and such – which, by the way, they can digest, too – but on people) Stefan and Damon usually take only a moment to do so. Am I supposed to believe that they can completely drain a person in mere three seconds? Well, maybe they can. They’re fabulous fantasy creatures after all! But maybe they can’t and are just like the rest of us folks from the developed world: because there’s no shortage on fresh and affordable food 24/7 most of us waste an enormous amount of it (so perhaps this is a sociocritical side blow directed at modern society…? No, somehow I doubt that). Since for vampires, being according to the script on the top of the food chain, getting food is too easy so they don’t have to behave as reasonable as other predators like, let’s say, lions which bravely finish their gnus all the time. So if they’re not careful their only food source may become extinct soon. But it’s not just that they don’t properly scrape their plates – they don’t even actually swallow the blood they’ve drawn out of their victims: they just let mouths full of the sacred liquid pour all over their chins. Hey, I get it – bizarre behavior like this just looks nastier on television and all things kinky usually get great ratings but let’s be honest here: trying to let the vampires seem hardly in control of their instincts because their wild, ‘feral’ side is much stronger than in humans just isn’t okay. It does our beastly friends great injustice: animals don’t waste food irresponsibly like that. Not to mention that it just looks plain stupid. I would feel rather pudding-headed (and reckless) if I put some water in my mouth just to let it run down my neck a moment later. Not to mention that I would be forever thirsty like they actually claim to be. Every time Stefan mopes about the fact that he’s hungry all the time I thought ‘Yeah, well, maybe you should actually try to drink the blood you suck out of people and not let it get lost in the depths of your collar. And maybe you should finish your blood bags instead of leaving half of the content inside. That might help a little’.

I figure I haven’t watched one single episode where there hasn’t at least one person perished. Okay, I’m aware that it’s a show about vampires (and werewolves, and witches and hybrids and other creepy creatures) and that they’re predators. And carnivores kill. But they don’t have to. And I figure they probably haven’t all along during their existence throughout history since humans haven’t died out yet in The Vampire Diaries universe. But I am surprised not more people there believe in vampires since humans get lost and murdered all over the place all the time and most folks still don’t strike on the idea that something supernatural might be walking their earth. Well, I reckon it’s mostly cheap sensationalism to show one brutish murder after another because a lot of people just love to witness bestial on-screen killings (maybe that has something to do with American culture). I on the other hand could go without all the dead people. It would have saved me a tear or two because it’s not only nameless victims who bite the dust. I mean, seriously: how can so many of the main cast die in such a short time? No wonder poor Elena totally went bananas in season four…

The scriptwriters recycle lines from older episodes. Okay, it’s filmed pulp fiction and most of the things the characters utter have probably already been said a million times before in cheap Gothic dime novels. So I didn’t have enormously high expectations when I started watching the show. But still: using one and the same sentence in one and then again in the next ten plus episodes is a bit much. I know from experience that working in the movie business is pure stress but this possibly shouldn’t happen nevertheless. My personal ‘favorite’ is the one and only ‘Everything’s heightened’ (referring to how somebody feels when turned into a vampire: apparently all senses work on permanent overdrive then and so do the emotions). Believe it or not: I understood the meaning of that sentence as early as the first time I heard it. And I stored that interesting fact about vampires in my brain back then, too. This didn’t stop the obliging scriptwriters to tell it to me and everybody else again. And again. I haven’t counted but it sure feels like I’ve heard the sentence about ten thousand times by now. Maybe they wanted to explain it to all the viewers who decided to tune in on the 80th episode after not caring for the show all those years before. I’m sure at one point Paul Wesley didn’t even have to study the script anymore – he knew he’d either say the abovementioned sentence, ‘I love you, Elena’ or ‘I’ll protect you, Elena’. I was just relieved that they didn’t reuse corny lines like Stefan’s ‘You don’t know what I look like when I’m not in love you’ which he uses to hurt Elena after she’s broken up with him to hit the sheets with his badass brother Damon (I know – talk about family drama, right?). I reckon the writers probably patted themselves on the back for coming up with such a perfectly mushy line. I can almost imagine them exclaim in ecstasy ‘Good one! That’ll make Stelena shippers cry so hard!’ For me that was one of those embarrassingly cheesy lines which made me first roll my eyes and then snicker out loud. Unfortunately, technically it’s incorrect: Elena was already aware of how her on-and-off sweetheart behaves whenever he’s not totally enchanted with her since he spent most of season three being an entire schmuck while being compelled (which is basically The Vampire Diaries slang for being completely controlled) by some diabolical vampire-turned-hybrid (what the hell?!) called Niklaus or Klaus.

Talking about Klaus – what kind of character is he supposed to be actually? I know he’s a jerk but apart from that he’s also a weird mixture of all sorts of ethnic features which slightly contradict themselves: he spots a British accent (he uses the word ‚love‘ when referring to a girl, calls men ‚mates‘ and when he gets upset he rages about ‚bloody‘ things. Ah, stereotypes are great, right?) although he’s actually a Viking (who originated from today’s Denmark, Norway and Sweden and not Great Britain although they went there eventually). His name is the German version of a name which origins date back to ancient Greece. It’s questionable that the name was already used in Viking Land back when Klaus was born. His family members’ names are a similar mess – three of them are even Jewish ones (Mikael, Elijah and Rebekah) which I’m sure were names only used in the Middle East back then. But even if we look upon the inappropriate naming there’re still the hilariously inconsistent accents of those people. Okay, let’s just assume that the writers supposed the family spent a whole lot of time in Great Britain after becoming immortal in today’s United States and that they picked up the local manner of speaking. But that doesn’t explain why there are some Australians or Canadian born New Zealanders posing as fake Britons. I guess the producers just didn’t care and thought that the ignorant American viewers wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between the accents anyway. As long as it sounds different from the American one they would surely believe that the old vampires are from Europe which is basically only a little spot (and not a whole continent) somewhere far away where all the old fashioned stuff comes from – including ancient Near Eastern first names. Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating. Maybe I should stop over-analyzing books or TV series which were clearly only made to entertain and not to be one hundred percent (historically) correct. Reasonability is overrated anyway.

(Most of) the product placement is hideous. I swear. Not for a very long time have I witnessed such an awful and absurd way of unsubtly integrating products into a storyline. I’m aware of the fact that it is an important source of funding for the industry – but when you get the feeling at some point that you’re watching a commercial rather than a scene which is actually bringing forth the storyline something’s going terribly wrong. I already know cell phones are great and pretty valuable electronic devices. I don’t need any Salvatore or Gilbert or Lockwood to tell me how neat it is that they can now use them to do God-knows-what. The only thing which was truly unknown to me is that you either have to own an HTC, Samsung, Blackberry or iPhone (or all of them at once) to be one of the cool kids of Mystic Falls. And that it’s always good to have a tablet PC in the house in case you might want to order take-out (because that’s just not possible anymore with a normal phone). To own some weird tiny thingy I’ve never seen before (apparently a mobile Wi-Fi hotspot) also could come in handy – in case you might want to go online when you’re staying in an isolated house right out in the sticks. Unfortunately I can’t for the love of God remember the name of that silly widget. I guess the product placement wasn’t such a striking success after all.

[puddleoftales]

Sorry...

I've been back in Germany for almost one year now but Korea still haunts me and I hope I'll be back there soon in one way or another. Looking back I can definitely say that although there were many difficulties during my stay in this country it has been most definitely worth it. I don't think there has ever been a time in my life when I learned so much. Having to integrate in a totally different culture has been a challenge which taught me a lot about myself. So if you ever get the chance to go to another country for a longer period of time - by all means take it!

Anyway - the real reason I'm writing this is to say that I am back. Well, at least sporadically... Because my life is really stressful right now seeing that graduation is right around the corner and I'm in the middle of writing my thesis I don't have much time to post stuff. But sometimes I still feel the need to produce something else than scientific writing and that's where tumblr comes in: I'll be publishing some random thoughts, short stories and articles here now. So I hope you'll enjoy that!

[puddleoftales]

Tales about... the 19th and the 20th day

On Thursday and Friday I had my first Korean classes. On Thursday we just met our three teachers and finished early though. Our group consists of only seven students who are from Mexico, Ecuador, Ghana, Sri Lanca, Saint Vincent and the Grenadines and China. The other three beginners groups are much bigger and most of the students there are Chinese girls.On the second day we got a new homeroom teacher because the first one didn't speak any English and I guess they thought that this would be a bit difficult. For the next two weeks we're going to learn Hangeul. Because I already can read and write Hangeul it will be a little boring for me. But at least I can improve my pronunciation now that I have a real teacher instead of just audio tracks.

We have two additional classes to prepare us for the TOPIC test (which is something like a TOEFL test only in Korean) and had to chose another class to experience Korean culture (I chose Taekwondo). But this means that I can't take all of the other classes I chose in addition to my Korean classes before. So it will be just 'Korean contemporary culture and movies' and 'Korean history'; my total work load will therefor be 31 lessons per week. Last semester in Germany I didn't have any classes any more (just due papers and exams) so this is a little different to the life I've lived before.

On Friday something else happened which I didn't appreciate very much. Our group was ordered to come to the dorm's cafeteria for a photo shot in the afternoon. I thought that they probably wanted to take something like yearbook pictures but instead a film crew appeared who interviewed us. As I understood we will be on KBS on Monday and Tuesday. I can live with that - I just wish we'd have a say in the whole thing. In Germany it is illegal to take a picture of or to film someone who hasn't given his or her permission before. So I was a little angry since I felt like a stupid K-Pop idol who is told by her management to take part in a embarrassing variety show although she thinks it's humiliating. The hosts (or whatever these two guys may have been) tried to communicate with me in broken English, telling me that they intend to travel to Germany next month (it's quite a rainy season there in October - they'll have a lot of fun!) while I was trying to stop my body from sweating even more in this stressful situation with the mere power of my thoughts. It was awful!

Other than that I get increasingly annoyed with Asian girls telling me that I'm so pretty and that they want a face and hair like me. Where's your love for yourselves, women?

[puddleoftales]

This is the official Silla University PR fim. Enjoy^^

[puddleoftales]

Ah, when I said it's quite alright, it was in response to when you apologized about not putting up any posts for a few days. I'm surprised that fruits and vegetables are so expensive! Is milk expensive there as well? When I lived overseas near South Korea, milk was really expensive and went bad after having it refrigerated for a few days. This was in Okinawa, though, so maybe it's not the same.

Ah, I thought I'd mentioned somewhere that it's quite alright here in Korea and that you thought that funny^^ It just sounded so much like something I might have said.

Yeah, I was surprised, too, when I realized that fruits and vegetables are expensive here. I don't really know why it's like that. Other countries have to import most of the fresh fruit, too, but it's not that expensive there. The only cheap fruits here are bananas and those are imported as well - it's just weird.

Milk is expensive, too, that's right. It's about twice as much as in Germany (which is not good for me because I used to drink about one liter per day). Most of the milk here isn't pasteurized (I had to look really hard for it since I don't have a refrigerator in my room) and it's also not homogenized. But I don't care as long as I get milk which doesn't go bad quickly.

Why did you go to Japan? Also to study or for work?

[puddleoftales]

Here's something completely unrelated to South Korea: I've been using this search engine for almost a year now and some days ago the guys behind it put up a video to promote it. Maybe you can switch to Ecosia, too, and avoid Google from now on... It's just a little step into the right direction and towards a greener future but I believe that even that can have a great effect on our environment.

[puddleoftales]

It's quite alright ^^ I'm glad you're doing better, though! Have you gone shopping for clothing in Busan yet? If so, what are the sizes typically like for you? Also, have you bought/found things that would typically cost less in your home-country?

Did I say that it's quite alright here in one of my posts? I couldn't find that sentence... But it sounds just like me - my roommate back in Germany used to make fun of me and my negative diction. So 'quite alright' actually means 'good' when you translate it into 'normal (positive thinking) peoples' language'.

Yes, I have gone shopping for clothing, in fact I went today with my roommate. The annoying thing about shopping in South Korea is that the sales persons are a lot more intrusive than the ones in Germany. Therefor I was very happy that I had my roomie with me who could talk to them. So if I just wanted to look around or I needed a different size she was able to help me.

The sizes are a bit different here and up to now I just tried the clothes on to see if the fit or not. I'm usually a size S or M (which is a size 36 or 38 in Germany if that's any help to you) and I haven't had great difficulties in finding clothes which fit me. Against all the rumours I'd heard before I came here there are girls in Korea who aren't exactly bony thin (I mean they're healthy and normal - just like me) and therefor the clothing industry has to provide clothes for those, too. It could be difficult for someone bigger than a size L though... The sizes for skirts and pants are usually 80, 85, 90 and 95. Size 85 fits me. But I have seen tops with these sizes, too (and here it's size 80 which fits me although its a little to roomy, actually) - it is just all a bit confusing. I guess I just have to try everything on to find out if it fits or not (which I normally don't do because I hate shopping and trying things on).

Things which are definitely much more expensive here than in Germany are fruits! They're almost too pricey to buy (I once bought 1,2 kg of Clementines and paid about 8 euros for it). It's almost the same with the vegetables but I don't care about that because I don't buy them anyway (I'm not allowed to cook them my dorm room).

Stationary, for example, is cheaper than in Germany. That's good because I needed some stuff at the beginning of the new semester.

In case you meant clothes when you asked about things that are cheaper here than in Germany: I haven't bought any brand clothes yet, so I don't know if they are cheaper or costlier here. Also, I haven't seen any of the usual clothing stores we have in Germany - Korea has just a lot of own brands. The prize level is about the same as in Germany. The quality is good but unfortunately they like synthetic fibers here (which is something I loathe - I prefer natural fibers).

[puddleoftales]

At first I was like 'What's THAT?' but then I remembered that the pie maker in the series 'Pushing Dasies' also baked cheese into the crust of his delicacies. And after all the muffins didn't taste bad at all. Who would have thought that...

[mikasserman]

Reblog this if you AREN'T homophobic.

[puddleoftales]

shmegel:

Just want to see how many of my followers actually reblog this.