Pumpkin Spice Unicorn

32 | they/them | Reblog heavy; ocs, fandoms, D&D, unicorns, snakes, aesthetic stuff, etc.

[sforzzz]

it's totally ok to dislike things. right?

[sforzzz]

i have to go delete some posts

[smeared1992]

you used to be able to get a job just by circling a listing in a newspaper in red pen

[wontonsoupinthemorning-deactiva]

message to all bitches

please survive

[nosleepforaiba-deactivated20251]

OP being deactivated is like a dying war general sending out her one final message to her loyal battalion before succumbing to her numerous wounds

[whyenn-reader]

''what if you regret it'' then you will expirience regret - a normal and unavoidable part of the human expirience.

[whyenn-reader]

the more you twist yourself into a pretzel to avoid regret the harder it will hit when it eventually catches up to you.

[grimeclown]

I got a job at a gas station across from a casino and a guy keeps coming in to buy whole cartons of cigarettes and talks in the third person calling himself "snake eyes pete" and every time I tell him his total hes like "tell ya what if old Pete rolls a snake eyes why dont you give it to him for free?" and he rolls the same set of loaded dice on the counter and it does not matter how many times he rolls snake eyes I will not give him the cartons for free he gets so mad

[grimeclown]

Snakeyes Pete is from Toronto he gave me a button once that said "Canadians have the best luck" and i said i thought that was the Irish and he said "I fucking hate the irish" and i said okay

[dogpuppy]

[mandywondering]

I mean, in some very interesting Technically Correct ways, they didn't actually die? Now, they're very much no longer alive. But the forces involved are such that they didn't get any of the usual cellular processes of death, they simply went from biology to physics in less time than it takes a signal to travel down your optic nerve.

[dietspam16]

if you go from biology to physics without dying first you don’t go to heaven the uber driver went over this

[throo]

ask not for whom the doctor peppers

[that-house]

[pillowspace]

Nearly blocked someone for a vaguely annoying reply they made in 2017 then remembered 2017 was 9 years ago. They will live. We can change *opens their blog* nevermind they got worse. Guards

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

dump his ass. move to a walkable city. start hormones. get into fiber crafts. dye your hair weird. grow an herb garden. foster a distrustful cat. take a welding class. invite your friends over for tea and cake. get way too into obscure media. explore a new cuisine. lie to the police. protest in the streets. life has so many possibilities don't it?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

make out with a frenemy. buy noise cancelling headphones. wear office inappropriate attire. quit a toxic workplace. improve your apartment. start a dog walking sidegig. get on first name basis with your local librarians. bully politicians at town hall meetings. get an unexpected piercing. cultivate farmer's market connections. trade recipes with a gossipy old neighbor. unionize your apartment complex. move to the countryside. let a friend take you larping. keep a sword on your mantleplace

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

get a tattoo on your 40th birthday. be tempted to buy a loom. do a charity drag show. sue your landlord. buy a really nice kitchen appliance. volunteer at an anarchist soup kitchen. rediscover a tv show you watched when you were 8. spam your state senators. shop at asian grocery stores. do cosplay. buy trans flags in bulk and mount them along the highway. go viral for unexpected reasons. move in with your best friend. make lemoncello with leftover lemon rinds. run for school board membership. explore pegging.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

update: i'm delighted to report this post has been responsible for at least one person dumping his ass

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

update: three four people

[hug-your-face]

via @swatercolor [insta]

[hug-your-face]

This is the best tag I've ever received on a post, I think

[skoople]

fan edit i made of squidward meal prepping

[kirbyfuckingbadass]

youre pissing me off

[fallout-lou-begas]

now i'm not saying that none of it wound up existing anyway but i am saying that if teen titans had aired ten years later than it did then i think that mad mod would have been an even bigger tumblr sexyman than the onceler

[fallout-lou-begas]

british (it's kind of his whole thing)

skinny white guy in a suit

villainous

hypnotic and illusory powers

has a secret "true form"

we honestly ought to be grateful. could you fucking imagine

[lutalical]

[hiveswap]

Not now, kitten, m- da- m- your parental figure is in the middle of a gender crisis

[nora-yoko]

[boycritter]

like 2 years ago there was the trend of "rawdogging flights" and during dinner my dad (very online) (non-native english speaker) was like "oscar have you heard of rawdogging" and i said "um. what?" and he went "they're doing it on planes"