fuck

I have no idea what to say

[nealashitposts]

I recently found out why my mom would never sleep around me when I was a kid. Like she’d never let herself take naps or sleep if I was awake, ever. Or if she did, she would lock her bedroom door. So when I was 6, I was asleep in my bed in the middle of the night when I hear a loud bang, like a pot being dropped and come out to the living room to see my mom standing by the window, with just a huge pile of spaghetti all over the sill, and a pot on the ground, and I ’m like “Are you gonna eat all that?” And ya’ll she get’s BIG MAD and yells at me and chases me to my room but then a little while later a bunch of cops show up and ask me a bunch of random ass questions about my art? Like this one cop lady keeps asking me to draw dragons for her?! And they seem mad as hell

I didn’t want to get arrested so I just never asked my mom for spaghettis after that. Lesson, learned. Don’t ask mom for spaghettis or she’ll call the damn police on you. 

So I have this memory in my head, and it goes unquestioned until I say it outload for the first time a few months back and as soon as I say the words “When I was six, my mom called the cops on me for asking for spaghettis” My adult logic slams into place and is like “Hang on. Your mother definatly did not call the police on a 6 year old for asking for spaghetti.” 

So obviously that’s not what really went down. I call up my mom to tell her how I remember it and on top of her figuring out why her kid has always been really cagey around spaghettis for the last 3 decades she tells me what really happened. 

So on that night, a man tried to break into our house through the front window. It was just my mom, and her kids so she did what she felt she had too and shot him in the head. He’d been wearing a helmet, which landed on the floor under the window.

Now I just want ya’ll to put yourselves in my moms shoes for a minute here. This woman has just taken a human life. The trauma of that- the instant agony, the panic, the guilt, the fear- all of it hitting her at once, her only solace the knowledge that her children are safe. She protected her daughters. No matter the cost to her soul- her children are safe.

Then she looks up and sees her six year old staring at the inside of this mans head before saying “Are you gonna eat all that?” 

[thedorkdionysia]

[balaclava-trismegistus]

Minneapolis Will Pay Influencers to ‘De-Escalate’ Tension During Derek Chauvin Trial

City officials voted to pay social media influencers $2,000 to spread the city's messaging during the trial of the officer who killed George Floyd.

Cointelpro but make it sound woke

[madelinetransqt]

you must only protest the government in the government allotted protest zones

bonus: they arent being subtle

[balaclava-trismegistus]

This illustrates a point that I desperately want to drive home about the situation in Minneapolis ever since the first protests went off:

Militarization is becoming the new normal in the Twin Cities.

Ever since the initial uprising, State Patrol and National Guard have been getting deployed with increased frequency. National Guard units were deployed twice, the second time taking only 2 hours for troops to be mobilized in Minneapolis. They rolled in riding IFVs - what are essentially light tanks designed for urban combat. They’ve been threatened to deploy more than once following those instances. We were having a hard time telling if National Guard was deployed or not during the first day or two of the uprising because State Patrol was deploying in full Multicam battle rattle and riding MRAPs. They wouldn’t identify themselves when people asked. Surrounding the inauguration, what was functionally a DMZ was established a couple blocks around the state capitol in St. Paul. Travel in the area was seriously restricted and similar barricades were manned by state patrol. Reaper drones and helicopters have been deployed at basically any protest that has more than a couple dozen people. It’s Going Down got their hands on some of the footage from that, if I remember correctly.

Things are getting really fucked up here and it’s actually kind of hard to get the word out. News sources aren’t talking about the finer details of it much, aside from activist publications like It’s Going Down. I just really want folks to know how bad things are looking and keep us in mind.

[paxamericana]

[noping-out-deactivated20241117]

READ. EVERY. WORD. OF. THIS. Account of a medical team out in St. Paul last night.

Link to original tweet thread.

[fradrenaline]

Finished my drawing of Balloons!

[badtunesboi-deactivated20180307]

“Sweet dreams are made of this. Who am I to disagree?“

[phoenix-phoenix-deactivated2019]

Holy shit this fucking super power. The avengers did Quicksilver WRONG.

[professor-maple-mod]

Holy shit

[ayalaatreides]

The brilliant thing about this isn’t just the CGI, it’s the clever little touches of humor– mussing the boy’s hair, saving the goldfish, drinking the soda can, the moonwalk, lining up the dart with the dartboard. I notice new details every time I see this clip. You can watch this scene with zero context and still fully enjoy it. You don’t need to know who he is or who he’s saving or why. There’s a guy who runs real fast and he’s saving people from an explosion, and he’s having a blast with it, and that’s all you need to know. It’s entertaining and fully comprehensible even if you know nothing about the movie. That’s damn good filmmaking.

[disaster-league]

Episode 1 is up!

Hey all! We officially have our first episode up! 

https://www.disasterleague.com/

Join Ryder, Rusty and Penelope as they start their Pokemon Journey with an assortment of new friends, and new enemies! They’ll encounter threats like poachers, team Galactic, and social interaction!

Disaster League is an actual play tabletop podcast using the Pokerole play system, and isn’t fit for youngsters!

GM: Rose MacLean

Ryder Dice: Ryley Heimer

Penelope Thorne: Lydia Dame

Rusty Hyker: Ollie Carr

Find us also at twitter.com/disaster_league

[rose-the-spellsword]

I am doing a podcast! Y'all should listen to it!

[sunlightinabelljar-deactivated2]

so apparently when my sister and i were little we took golfing classes and we got kicked out after a week. the reason being that the old white male instructor kept calling my 4 year old sister Maria “Mary” after she told him several times that her name is pronounced Maria. anyway, at one point, he tells her “well, that doesn’t matter anymore. you’re in America now.” and that distressed my sister so much that she hit him with her golf club.

that’s not what did the damage, though. what fucked that old dude up is that i saw my sister hit him from where i was standing and i ran over and started beating him with MY golf club. my mom says that i didn’t know what the hell was happening, but i squared up.

that’s why we got kicked out.

[willowdove]

I support your unconditional readiness to throw hands for your sister

[toastbutteregg]

now thats what you call sisterhood

[sandandglass]

[gabe-the-fallen-angel]

What actual friendship is like

[jebiwonkenobi]

Once upon a time I worked in this little burger/coffee/ice cream shop and a lady came in one winter and asked if we had a caramel apple drink and we were like ‘well we have cider’ and she was like ‘no I don’t remember what it’s called but this place made a drink that was chai tea, apple cider, and caramel’ and Breezy offered to try and make something for her but she changed her mind and left so Breezy and I were like ‘alright let’s try this’ because we had chai tea, instant cider mix, a shit ton of caramel, instant hot water from the espresso and too much free time. 

And let me tell you it was delightful. It tastes like watching the leaves changing color and dancing in the wind. It tastes like picking out pumpkins and gourds and fresh apples at the farm up north. It tastes like witches and freedom.

I make it every year now and this year I walked in the house on the morning of October first with all the ingredients and shouted ‘FALL DRINK’ and my roommates were like ‘????’ so I made them Fall Drink and now every time they get home from work they’re like ‘Fall Drink pls?????’

Anyway I remember literally nothing else about that woman but I’m very grateful to her. 

[lightrises]

for anyone wondering about proportions/etc here’s op’s answer from the repiles:

[susiephone]

do yourself a favor and read “Oh God, Not Again!” by Sarah1281

it is a harry potter fanfic from like 2009, 160k words, 50 chapters

basically, adult Harry accidentally goes back in time and wakes up on his 11th birthday again, but with all his memories of the future intact

(the way he travels back makes no sense whatsoever but it doesn’t really matter)

harry decides upon 3 goals:

fuck up as much shit as possible

make a shitload of money

save some lives or whatever

it is

H I L A R I O U S

his go-to explanation for how he knows what’s going to happen?

he has a psychic scar

(hermione is SO PISSED about this)

(neville’s like “either he’s psychic, or he’s the greatest conman alive”)

everyone just sort of assumes harry’s insane and he doesn’t do much to dispute this

harry also decides to make it his mission in life to LOSE the house cup every year

“snape is my sole ally”

he also goes out of his way to befriend neville, ginny, and luna earlier this time, so they’re part of the gang throughout and it’s great

even draco is a friend!

(kind of)

(when harry’s not spreading a rumor that draco’s the lovechild of narcissa and snape, anyway)

harry’s motivation for everything he does in this story is basically, “oh, this will be hilarious”

either that or, “it’s probably a tax deductible”

because the way lockhart is written in this story is also amazing and harry ends up teaming up with him to merchandise The Boy Who Lived so he can have cash to burn

(so he gets a LOT of shit done via bribes)

it gets to the point where harry is able to convince everyone that he’s not the heir of slytherin…. because if he was, he’d have found a way to make money off of it

and everyone’s like “yeah ok that checks out”

in this timeline, neville’s boggart isn’t snape…. it’s harry as the minister of magic

harry also decides to make sure cedric lives by quizzing him constantly on what to do if he ends up in a graveyard

harry: by the way, that reminds me – cedric. graveyard.

cedric, not even really listening: run like hell.

the sheer magnitude to which harry does not give a fuck in this timeline is truly awe-inspiring

he mouths off to everyone, and i mean everyone. lockhart, snape, the dursleys, malfoy, friggin’ voldemort

everyone is like “what… what the fuck, harry”

(though by the end of first year it’s more like “… *deep sigh* … fine.

snape is so angry

it’s fucking hysterical and just about everyone ends up better off

here’s the link

thank me later

[jammeke]

[pomrania]

Thank you so much for this post; I’ve read that fic before and loved it, but I’d forgotten the name and wasn’t able to find it.

[saiyanqueenreads]

Fanfic Rec Time.  ^^^^

[seanspedicey]

so.. you’re gonna need to jump up this wall… so you can just jump either side-

[notglacier]

a moodboard

[tellmethatstoryagain]

we all need a little bit of haida in our lives

[dime-store-superheroes]

Visit Original Link

Hey guys, this is the inaugural release for my new project, Dime Store Superheroes! It’s going to be a song included on my first album release which is coming soon, but I’m releasing it now as a single because I felt like it! :D

(If you’d like to purchase it, you can get it on bandcamp for whatever you want to pay!  (link))

[rose-the-spellsword]

This is me making music!

[fuckingbirdseeds-deactivated201]

Collin J Ham is creating Sketches | Patreon

Become a patron of Collin J Ham today: Read 2 posts by Collin J Ham and get access to exclusive content and experiences on the world’s largest membership platform for artists and creators.

for a dollar a month, you get to request sketches! once i get enough for a tablet then digital sketches will be a thing!

[sergle]

i still like how this old-ass song by the diamonds is just about this guy whose girlfriend wants to fuck monsters, and i’d never expect such a relatable song to come from a 1950s quartet

[sergle]

“monsters turn my girlfriend on” the song

I love to take my baby to a movie show So I can try to smooch her while the lights are way down low But she won’t curdle to a story of romance- There’s only one way I have a chance.

It takes the batman, wolfman, frankenstein or dracula To put her in the mood for love. It takes the catgirl, dogboy, creature from the black lagoon To make her feel like making love.

[anais-ninja-bitch]

i like how it implies that she’s a comic geek and bi too. so relatable.