RecoveryPunkStyle

Trauma recovery blog but punk style.

[tordenvejr]

don't glorify neglect and lack of support. surviving alone isn't an indicator of strength, it just means you're alone. don't make your life about how much you can endure or for how long you can sustain yourself with bites of yourself. you are not less for recognizing you don't want to do this on your own

[punkstylerecovery]

I can't stop thinking of all the age restrictions going up on so many different websites and shit. Obviously a lot of it is to target sex workers and LGBTQ+ people but it's also done explicitly to target children too and I can't stop thinking of how I wouldn't be alive today if I couldn't access those websites.

Strangers online saved me. Information, education and yes, even porn, saved me. I would've killed myself before I even reached 16 without them and I keep crying thinking of all the other kids alive right now, just like me, who will die because of these age restrictions.

Yes, so many of you WILL make it. Trust me, you will and I have hope and am sending so much love to all of you. But I know some of you won't just like I wouldn't have. And I'm sending love and hope to you too. 🫂

[punkstylerecovery]

I can't stop thinking of all the age restrictions going up on so many different websites and shit. Obviously a lot of it is to target sex workers and LGBTQ+ people but it's also done explicitly to target children too and I can't stop thinking of how I wouldn't be alive today if I couldn't access those websites.

Strangers online saved me. Information, education and yes, even porn, saved me. I would've killed myself before I even reached 16 without them and I keep crying thinking of all the other kids alive right now, just like me, who will die because of these age restrictions.

Yes, so many of you WILL make it. Trust me, you will and I have hope and am sending so much love to all of you. But I know some of you won't just like I wouldn't have. And I'm sending love and hope to you too. 🫂

[polyfragmentdid]

Shout out to the systems still living in traumatizing situations or with their abusers. Wish us all luck.

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

here’s to all the things you survived quietly and privately this year

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

here’s to all the things you survived loudly, to the dead horses you beat to death, to the shit that makes you scream

[what-even-is-thiss]

Having some decorations you like in your bedroom will improve your general mental health btw. Won’t cure you but it’ll make a big difference.

[punkstylerecovery]

I was watching a video today and someone was talking about certain things they like to do and they kept prefacing it by saying how weird each thing they do was and I was watching it and realized...

I do that too sometimes. I preface things with what I'm scared of other people saying to me in response.

I say, "It's weird, I know, but I need to keep things in my mouth and chew them all the time" and its not because I think its weird or really care about whether its "weird" or not, its just because I'm scared of them saying "oh well that's weird AF".

I say, "I'm a little crazy, obviously, but sometimes I think [X vulnerable thing]" and it's because I'm scared they're going to call me crazy in response to hearing my feelings.

I say, "Maybe its nothing but someone hurt me like this." and it's because I'm scared of them saying "that sounds like nothing".

I shield myself by putting my fears in front of me. By revealing my insecurities before my vulnerabilities. What a strange realization, not to mention unconscious maneuver.

[punkstylerecovery]

Coming back to this because I reread this recently and realized how hard I've been working on this since this realization! I'm actually so proud of how much less I do this now.

Just realizing that I do it helps me notice when I'm doing it and noticing when I do it helps me prevent it. Who said you couldn't heal in shitty situations? 🥹

[livedinthecastle]

anyone else having a real fun time unlearning “explicitly stating your wants is selfish and people will like you less if you do more than suggest or hint at your true wishes”

[journal-from-the-heart]

i think, for trauma survivors, especially those who were emotionally abused, invalidated, or gaslit, it is really important not to underestimate the significance of speaking bluntly about what happened to you. Forcing yourself not to beat around the bush, not to downplay what you went through with your words. say what happened, without any caveats, without any “but it could’ve been worse”, “but i might just be being overdramatic”, “but it wasn’t really THAT bad,” and so forth. sit with the discomfort until you can begin to let yourself realize that it WAS that bad, you WERENT being overdramatic, and even if it could’ve been worse you still didn’t deserve it. It’s almost like a form of reclamation, taking back your memories, taking back your life, even the difficult or gross parts, and refusing to let anyone change the narrative or tell you how you should feel anymore, even yourself. and it hurts and it’s scary and it feels weird and awkward and sometimes you want to convince yourself you’re lying, but i think sitting in those weird feelings and letting yourself admit that you really did go through trauma puts the power back in your hands to process things and be compassionate to yourself while you heal

[traumasurvivors]

I used to think healing meant becoming unbothered.

Now I think it means noticing when I’m bothered and treating myself with less cruelty about it.

[sapphling]

like if you pay attention you'll find that a truly alarming amount of people genuinely believe that self harm, in and of itself, not used as leverage against another person, just the act of self harm at base is manipulative. i think about the way that people with no better coping mechanism available to them are treated as inherently abusive, very often by family members or people in other positions of power over them, constantly. it's such an effective way to force people to hide what they're doing and put them in much, much more dangerous situations than they're already in

[aurangg]

Something really not talked about with trauma disorders is the paranoia.

Being scared and jumping to conclusions when people stand a little too close to you, not believing people’s compliments and thinking they have hidden motives, not believing when people tell you they like/love you, thinking that strangers you see on the street want to hurt you, etc.

[lyraeon]

who taught you that suffering in silence was noble, and how would you shutting up have benefited them?

[lyraeon]

this also counts for all those times you kept your mouth shut and didn't complain because you were being polite, and people would gladly have changed things if you had just asked. your suffering was not noble. you do not get a cookie for it, you do not get a tally mark next to your soul's score for grinning and bearing it. your suffering serves no purpose. break free of it. you deserve comfort.

[gentleaffirmations]

Even if you were a difficult child, you didn't deserve to be hurt.

[gentleaffirmations]

I hope this message reaches all the neurodiverse and disabled people who were made to feel like their abuse was justified because they had "behaviors".

While this message is true for every child, you are who I had in mind when I wrote it.

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

it’s okay to not be okay and still experience happiness

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

it’s okay to be doing well and still experience bad days

[traumasurvivors]

If you have been abused by a sibling, that is valid.

Some people may brush off or downplay it, perhaps saying what you went through is “just normal behaviour between siblings.”

What you went through was abuse. It was “bad enough” to “really” be abuse. Don’t let people make you feel it wasn’t.

[stuckinapril]

Does anyone else mourn the fact that their child self never had a chance