serj i love you. come to my wedding

| 18+ ONLY 🔞| 29 | it/that | tme | gif maker, nu metal enjoyer, old guy poster, deathmatch fetishist | three meals a day, two snacks, and a dessert if youre nasty. if youre kinky.

[i-support-the-death-penalty-dea]

my next gimmick will be i am numetal. and also gay. then i will go BALD

[sidras-tak]

Tattoo artist and I were debating over where to place my thigh tattoo. I, pants pulled down and half a buttcheek out in a large airy room in front of the windows said nervously “haha, I know I have a lot of thigh to work with” and they go “OMG yes I feel so bad for skinny clients because their art gets all crowded. You could get some nice big pieces on your arms and legs though”. Hell yeah my friend. Yet another W for the fat crowd tonight.

[trashboat]

when try your best but you don’t secede

[francieum-blog]

I’m pretty sure the song goes “When you try your best but you don’t succeed.” Please don’t mess with an avid Coldplay fan, I’m sure I’m not the only one. Also, that picture of Texas doesn’t have to do with anything. God bless you.

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

hmmm

[caecilius-est-pater]

[your-dewey-decimal-number-is]

612.46 and 582.13

urination and flowers

[fatfemmalewife]

you can very often tell who actually believes healthcare is a human right by whether they think fat people have to earn it first.

[moxleyrollins]

shoutout to this specific camera work and framing AEW: SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER | 06.13.26

[redstonedust]

some people like to get mad at disability benefits because they think its unfair people who dont work get a payout from the government while they have to work 50 hours at the human suffering factory every week. but if you tell them "yeah that sucks i think you should also get a universal allowance and not have to work 50 hours at the human suffering factory every week" thats apparently the wrong answer.

[c3rvida3]

I put a collar on him since you can wag his tail. :)

(made with an antique celluloid fawn toy and an articulated fishing lure)

[captain-price-returns]

Arrest everyone involved.

[captain-price-returns]

Money saved: maybe a couple million dollars.

People killed: around three quarters of a million.

[peoplegettingkindamadatfood]

[gunsandfireandshit]

[dogpuppy]

[blanketfortarchitect]

This would work on me

[knucklecurve]

filthy, filthy read

[the-falling-eagle]

[wagitfag]

DocMillion

[sacred-portal]

[aflo]

At the sex shop asking if I can buy a regular sized dildo I can put in my unremarkable asshole but they recognize me as the hero of legend regardless

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

a lil tomato soup made from roast tomato, onion, garlic and bell pepper with a lil grill ches. regular marble cheddar, some farmers market truffle cheddar, and a lil pickle for the filling. bread is a sourdough pullman's loaf recipe of my own design

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

man it is SO funny that everyone's still cycling this post considering that the meal poisoned the shit out of me

turns out the bread i baked there had started to mold, the cheddar cheese had started to mold, and the chicken stock I used for the soup's best before date was over a year ago. I found all of this out a day or so later and I'm now still dealing with the gastroenteritis symptoms

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

everyone in here would have gotten poisoned if I'd brought this to the potluck, good to know

[identifying-mushrooms-in-posts]

Rhizopus sp./Mucor sp. (mold)

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

dude

[sapphling]

the more time you spend in active recovery from any given self destructive behavior or addiction the more you understand the common conception of the "relapse" as defined by a broken "streak" to be, like, so bad for one's own well-being that it would be funny if it weren't resulting in just a lot of misery and death

[the-peoples-puppy]

I told my girlfriend to think of quitting vaping as training her endurance by seeing how long she can run before she gets tired, then doing it again and hoping to go further next time. She said it really helped her.