Characters: Gojo, Geto, Nanami
Warnings: hurt/comfort, self doubt, insecurity
A/n: I write this last month but didn’t finish the other three so hopefully pushing this out and gaining some form of audience can motivate me bcs I’m feeling like shit rn haha..
By the time you awoke Gojo was sitting on the floor next to the bed, poking your cheeks softly with a pout. He looked like he had just woken up from his own slumber and you squinted at the clock,
“Baby you left me all alone on the bed!”
He whined, climbing next to you on the bed and wrapping both his arms around your torso as he buried his face in your hair. You merely hummed in response, last nights’ wounds still fresh in your mind as you awkwardly pushed yourself off his body, voice carefully low as not to annoy him,
“Uh yeah I felt sick, didn’t want you to get it too,”
Satoru had a confused expression on his face, sitting up on the bed as his shoulder brushed against yours, looking into your eyes as he cupped your face with his larger hands.
“Are you sure you look pretty down baby,”
You awkwardly hummed, turning your face away from his as you stared at the decoration on the wall, making up some excuse to leave the bed. He trailed after you like a lost puppy, shoulders slouched as he followed you into the washroom.
He let out a squeak when you shut the door in his face, locking it to ensure he wouldn’t follow you in. You’d decided that you’d try to adhere to his tastes, well atleast as much as you possible could. Step 1 on the agenda was to establish some boundaries, the less opportunities you were alone with him the less likely you would be to talk your head off.
So you spent the morning avoiding his touches and dodging all his questions with practiced ease. At one point Gojo draped his figure over yours as you cooked breakfast, whining into your ear about how mean you were being and you bit your tongue in order not to snap at him.
He had the day off so he spent the entire day by your side always trying to get you to open up though you only hummed in response, barely acknowledging him. Lunch was spent with him asking you about a million different question and you gave short, cut to the throat answers as you saw him visibly deflate with each answer.
Satoru could see you typing away on your phone, going into other rooms of the huge mansion as he stood at the doors and heard you record voice notes with a heart that slowly started to wither in his body. He could hear the excited, sweet candance of your voice and almost imagine the smile you had on your face. You were talking about a show, the same one you were talking about when he was scrolling through his gallery for a new wallpaper, his hands clenched into fits, shoulders tensing up as he begrudgingly made his way to the couch, giving you the space you needed from him, though he doubted he could do it again.
By the time it was time to watch your favorite show, he had made it his personal mission to talk about every character on screen, yet still you refused to talk, to give him any sort of reason to think about how annoying you were. He called out your name, voice unnaturally stiff and hurt as he held your hand in his,
“Please talk to me, I miss you. I miss your voice and I miss talking to you and I miss hearing your voice, please baby look at me,”
Tears had gathered in the corners of your eyes and you harshly wiped them away, scoffing as a wet garbled noise made it out of your throat,
“Why does it matter to you! I know you think I’m annoying and you’re probably just lying to me to make feel better!”
Satoru immediately wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a hug as you sobbed into his shirt and clutched the material in your hands,
“You’re so mean! Saying one thing and wanting the other! You know how hard it was for me to be quiet!? To hold myself in when I thought-”
Gojo pulled away, wiping your tear stricken face with his palms as his face was contorted in pain and confusion,
“Baby what did I say? I would never want you to hold yourself back I’m your boyfriend, you let me talk 24/7 Ofcourse I want you to do the same!”
You sniffed, eyesight clearing up a bit as you looked up at him through teary lashes, staring at his bright blue eyes which had started to also tear up,
“Y-yesterday you said that I was too loud..”
His entire figure drooped in figure as he squished your cheeks in his hands, smiling at you like he had just won the lottery and like this wasn’t hurting every part of your wellbeing,
“Oh baby I’m so fucking stupid aren’t I? My sweetheart, my baby, my doll it’s crazy because I’ve never met someone who matched me before and I was thinking about it yesterday and I was supposed to also say it’s crazy how the universe made us find each other,”
It felt like boulder had been lifted off of your heart and you started sobbing more frantically, rubbing at your red rimmed eyes with the back of your hand as you playfully pushed Satoru away,
“Next time I say anything to make you sad please just stab me with the sharpest knife in the kitchen, make me kneel on the floor and beg for your forgiveness. Don’t ever let me get away with saying shit like that okay?”
You shakily smiled, leaning into his side as he comforted you, lazy hand on your back tracing figure eight shapes as you slowly calmed down. He must’ve whispered a hundred ‘I love you’s in your ear before you shakily said it back, bringing a wide grin to his face as he pinched at your cheeks.
You both fell into easy chatter again, the old tendrils of insecurity would always be there. But being with Satoru was good enough to make you forget it ever existed.
Unfortunately for you, you couldn’t sit on the couch and try to eat away your tears as much as you wanted. You had responsibilities as an adult and right now the twins had to be picked up from preschool. That means not only did you have drive thirty minutes to pick up Sugurus adopted children, you’d also have to hold yourself from being too affectionate with them lest Suguru thought you were too much again and ranted behind your back.
You rubbed your cheeks, warming the skin there with your palms as you wiped away any remnants of your crying session and washed your face with cold water, steeling yourself to pick up the kids. Nanako and Mimiko didn’t have to see you like this, a mess who fell apart at the slightest hint of hesitance.
The drive to the kindergarten gave you time, time to think about how you should act around the twins, what boundaries you should draw between them and how to make sure Suguru wouldn’t get a chance to think like that, you’d be perfect, just a girlfriend and nothing more. Your plan was starting to prove to be difficult as Nanako and Mimiko immediately enveloped you in a hug as you stood at the kindergarten’s gates, running up into your arms as you almost got knocked off your feet.
You gently pushed them off of you, smiling softly as you patted their head for a brief second. The twin girls had matching confused expressions on their face, Nanako, the more sensitive one of the two had already scrunched her face up in sadness,
“Nanako, Mimiko you shouldn’t-,”
You cut yourself off, biting your tongue as you looked at the cement ground for a second. This probably was one of the ways that Suguru thought you were doing too much, you shouldn’t scold them- no that was a job reserved for Geto. You quickly smiled as you held their hands in yours,
“How about we go to the car, hmm girls?”
Usually by this time you’d carry the twins in your arms as they held onto your neck, giggling as you swayed them back and forth on the short walk to the car. Mimiko looked at her sister for a brief second, telepathically communicating as they nodded with a small pout on their faces.
It physically hurt you to see them so sad, to know that you could wipe it away but you couldn’t. Not when doing that would not only put you at risk of not seeing them again, but they would be far more upset if they weren’t allowed to see you again. So, even though it twisted your heart to be in the absence of their familiar laughter and giggles, you held it all in for their sakes.
The situation at home was even worse if anything. The twins, sensing your reluctance to scold or take care of them had started to lash out more, both at each other and you. But you stood your ground, your smile tight as you cleaned after them, not stepping over the imaginary line that Suguru had drawn for you in your head.
You didn’t let them sit in your lap anymore as they had their evening snacks, not even when Nanako burst into sobs and accused you of not loving them anymore to which you could only console the child with a few soft pats on her back which made her resolve even stronger.
Even when helping them with their homework, you sat across the table, merely pointing out their mistakes as they pouted at you. Playtime was more hellish, every time you denied them something the sinking feeling in your stomach only got worse but you stayed strong, a few moments of pain was okay if you could stay with the girls for the rest of your lives, even if it was not as their mother.
Dodging the physical affection was the toughest, they had a loving habit of jumping into your arms or hanging off of your sides as you did chores around the house. Mimiko would fall asleep only in your arms and Nanako would demand a flurry of kisses be placed on her face whenever she wished to.
By the time Suguru came home both you and the girls had exhausted yourself. The twins with their incessant crying that started when you wouldn’t read them a bedtime story or even do their nightly routine with them and so they refused to fall asleep. You physically and emotionally were drained out, barely keeping yourself afloat as you told yourself to look at the bigger picture.
Geto immediately noticed the tension in the house as he sat on the sofa, the twins came to their father with red eyes and splotchy cheeks, hiccuping and crying even harder as he wrapped his arms around the little girls and looked at you confused. You bit your lip and looked away, slightly ashamed and embarrassed.
By the time the girls where put to bed, Suguru had spent a whopping 2 hours in bed with them, listening to them spill out their hearts and carrying their worries in his heart, shoulders heavy with fear as he stepped into the master bedroom, you sat on the corner, fiddling with your fingernails as you tried to focus on the book in front of you. He called out your name and your head snapped to meet his gaze, worry evident in the crease of your eyebrows.
Geto took two long strides and kneeled by your side of the bed, even when you gasped and tried pulling him off the floor, he grasped your hands in his, enveloping them in familiar warmth as he looked at you,
“Do you- do you not want the- I don’t know what to say.. the twins.. they said you-,”
Suguru sounded hesitant, voice shaky as he stared at where your hands where intertwined, rubbing the skin on the back of your palm with his thumb. You cut him off, guilt heavy in your chest as you pried his hands off of you,
“You- you said I was acting too much like their mother so-”
Geto’s hands were on your cheeks in a second, wiping away the tears that fell from your eyes as you cried in his arms, cheeks squished in his hands as you tried to pull away again, only this time Geto didn’t let you, his arms wrapped around your body and pulled you into his lap.
“Sweetheart when did I say this?”
You slowly explained your version of events and you could see Suguru wanting to interject in between, holding himself back only to let you continue with a grim expression on his face.
“Love, my beautiful, smart, sweet, caring, thoughtful girlfriend, I didn’t mean it like that.”
He cursed, looking away for a moment before forcing himself to meet your swollen eyes, soothing you while caressing your face with a gentle smile,
“I felt guilty, like you were forced to take care of kids because I took them into this relationship one day without your permission,”
You immediately stood up, Getos head following your range of motion as you looked bewildered at him,
“Ofcourse not! I love Nana and Mimi they literally mean the world to me!”
Suguru smiled, standing up as a few tears escaped from his eyes and he wrapped his arms around you again, resting his head on your shoulder,
“I’m so lucky to have you and I’m so sorry, I should’ve told you about these… insecurities earlier.. I felt like if you did agree and you left me I wouldn’t know what to do with myself,”
Both of you were crying into each others embrace, smiling as salty tears ran its course and you giggled through the stupidity of it all,
“Next time something bothers you, promise to tell me okay Sugu?”
You held up a pinky finger as he locked it with his own, dwarfing yours in size as you looked at each other, love bleeding through every single vein you had and into him.
The next day you explained to the twins that you felt under the weather and kissed their cheeks even more fervently. Suguru whispered something into their ears and they shyly called you ‘Mama’, you burst into sobs and hugged them tightly as Suguru watched you with a fond expression on his face, hoisting you on his arms as you held the twins and twirling you around the living room.
Yeah, this was your family.
The next few days were awkward, Kento apologized for lashing out on you but you still felt- odd. Like something in you truly couldn’t be fixed. You were so used to being dependent on him that for a moment you forgot what it was like to take the reign yourself. So, in an effort to patch up the dirty feeling reeling inside your bones, you unconsciously started to pull away, not letting him take care of you like he used to.
The first Saturday date night was weird, you insisted on paying for yours and Kento’s part of the dinner no matter how much he tried to argue and pry away your fingers from your card. He let you win with a frustrated smile, eyebrows furrowed as he made a mental note to bring this up to you later.
Even more unusual was when he came home to see you in the kitchen again, this time with an apron and gloves as you brought out a casserole from the oven, steaming hot food that infiltrated his nostrils in the best possible way,
“Love? What’s all this, you didn’t have to-”
You immediately cut him off, picture perfect smile on you face as you pushed him to sit down,
“Omg you remember my friend right! So he told me he’d teach me how to cook along with his younger cousin for free! This is my third attempt at this dish , you better like it~”
You teased as you swung side to side, shifting your weight on either foot as you waited for Kento to take a bite. His expression contorted into a confused one before taking a hold of your hand in his, looking over for any bruises or cuts,
“Really love, I don’t understand what’s happening, you don’t need someone to teach you cooking I told you before,”
You shook your head, pulling your arm away with a tired smile,
“Kento I really wanted to do this for you, please sit down and take a bite hmm?”
Your husbands face flickered for a second, steeling it back to a gentle smile as he sat down and complimented your cooking.
Usually you both would bath together once a week, a sort of non sexual intimate part that you like to indulge in with bath bombs and sprays. He’d massage conditioner into your hair with skilled fingers, listening intently as you chattered on about your boss or new gossip from the workplace.
Nanami took his baths with you very seriously, he loved taking care of you, loved making you feel special and like the only girl who existed in the entire world to him. So ofcourse his sanctuary would be in the bathroom with you sitting between his feet, droplets of water resting on your face when you twisted backwards to look at him.
So this carefully curated routine feels much, much out of place when he’s the one kneeling between your feet, pout strong on his handsome face as you shampooed his hair. How badly he wanted to take care of you, to watch the pleased expression wash over your face with a content smile. He felt cheated, like something integral in him was screaming at him to get up and do his job as your lover.
You, nonetheless wiser, were starting to enjoy the new role in the house, though sometimes you felt famished and wanted nothing more than your Kento to take care of you again, you’d never allow yourself to feel that incompetent and stupid again.
The more days that passed by, the less time you got to spend with your husband, and the more it was chipping away at his own mental strength. Every time you got up from the sofa, abrupting the few hours of time Kento had with you, he’d sigh internally and watch you run around the house while trying his absolute best to respect your wishes. You’d shut down any and all offers of him trying to help you and he wanted to bring it up with you soon.
On the other hand, you had slowly started to spiral inwards, you’d watch every emotion on Kento’s face, making sure you’d catch every flicker of emotion, every twitch, the subtle signs of disapproval and the furrow in his brow. You’d started to slowly develop some obsessive tendencies.
Waking up in the morning before Kento did, cooking him breakfast and making sure everything looked picturesque for his liking. You’d even try to make yourself look more appealing for him, and even though he’d smile and tell you everything was more than perfect you could tell that something was holding him back.
So you got more perfectionist, the house was devoid of any dirt, and if anyone looked really closely they could tell that it was slowly becoming less warm. You woke up too early and fell asleep far too late, Kento doesn’t remember the last time he had you peacefully in his arms, giggling and smiling at him in the familiar way that made his heart warm with affection.
It came to a breaking point when he caught you breaking down on the toilet seat, head crouched as old anxious habits started to take over and you could barely breathe past the loud sobs that overtook your body. The stress and bottling up of emotions combined with the constant need to make sure everything was in place had finally got to you, one minute you were tucking in the comforter and the next hot years were running past your cheeks.
It’s been hours, your brain registers for a second when you see your husband kneel infront of you, taking your hands in his as he looked up at you.
“Oh darling, what’s wrong?”
You could only sob harder as a response and immediately Kento had an arm under your knees and the other securely behind your back, carrying you into the bedroom with ease. He gently laid you down and enveloped your cheeks with his hands, so gentle, like he was handling fragile glass.
You looked at him through your shaky vision and sniffled when he started to offer you comforting words, pulling you into his chest and keeping you close to his beating heart.
“I-I don’t know what’s wrong w-with me Kento I-”
He tucked you closer into his embrace as a response, tracing patterns through the fabric of the shirt covering your back,
“I noticed you’ve been changing..”
He started talking, voice careful as not to startle or scare you as he pulled your chin upwards to look up at him,
“Though I don’t understand the reason, you know I will forever appreciate you just as you are right? I didn’t want to comment on it because I thought that maybe this was bringing you joy but I missed you- My love I missed you so much, come back to your husband hmm?”
The tears that had run its course began once again and you carefully explained your side to Kento, his grip on your hand grew stronger as a grim expression took over his face. Apologies flew from his mouth every time you stopped, sweet nothings whispered into your ear as he hugged you tight.
“Sweetheart I like cooking for you, I want you to relax and be happy while I do chores, it brings me joy when we do stuff together. I know I’m not home a lot and you take care of a lot more than you think you do, please let me do all the things you’ve burdened yourself with. I love taking care of you more than anything. I never want you to feel like you’re incompetent or incampable but you’re the most incredible person I’ve ever met. Youre the most brightest, smartest person I know, you light up every room you’ve walked into, you manage to surprise me after all the years we’ve been together and I feel so so lucky to just be blessed by your presence every day, my sweet sweet dove,”
Nobody’s perfect, but in Kento’s eyes you were the most perfect thing that’s ever happened to him. Sure, sometimes you’ll still get hit with the occasional wave of self doubt and anxiety, but your husband will be there right next to you, with your breakfast in his hand and a warm kiss pressed to your cheek.
