kinda still am purecamp on artificialqueens and ao3. just trying to live another day on this hellscape. reminder that i’m a human being and i deserve respect like anyone else! rude asks can suck a necrotic dick. otherwise, i’m pretty nice usually 💗 she/her
i find these so hard to write, but i don’t like leaving things unsaid when i have a lot of thoughts. so much happened last year that was so severe and intense that i completely understand people who decided to just check out and not keep up. i did it myself for a while, when i was in too much pain to do anything else. but i feel like now maybe i should say something more.
i think most people will know by now that sharon has been performing again, that she’d been doing online shows for a while, that she’s involved in the SERV vodka campaign. and i know a lot of people were angry about some of it, asking why her career hasn’t been ruined, her title stripped, etc.
i’m somewhat closer to the situation than the average fan might be, which has given me a unique perspective and insight that the casual observer might not have, though for privacy reasons i won’t go into detail about how/why this is the case. i don’t expect this to change the minds of people who have decided their opinions on sharon, because she’s been hated for years regardless. and that’s fine, i respect that and always have. i don’t know what i want this to achieve but i want to say it anyway.
i want to re-emphasise what i wrote last time, first of all.
“the document has since been deleted. a few things i know are that sharon has been in contact with lawyers, understandably, and this is why she hasn’t made a statement as so many people are demanding of her. if you think having a lawyer makes you guilty... i don’t know what to say, other than that’s a weird view to have. i don’t know if the deletion is to do with the lawyers, or if it was their own decision. i also know that they have gone on to accuse lists and lists of people - some that i can remember including morgan mcmichaels, jinkx monsoon, alaska, alaska’s brother cory, detox, bendelacreme - of inappropriately touching them while they were a minor, as well as (proven falsely) claiming that aquaria was also abused by sharon, and sent underage nudes to her. again, this was not true, and at least for me, casts doubt on the credibility of the idea of sharon as an evil person and determined abuser.
i’m not saying that sharon didn’t act inappropriately, because she 100% did, and i find this very upsetting. i’m just saying that i don’t believe there was deliberate ill-intention or harm behind any of what happened, besides a fucked up situation between some fucked up people.”
i still believe this to be true. i personally find it very suspicious that someone claiming to want justice would make up false claims about others and expand their accusations in such a way for seemingly no reason - it smacks of just wanting controversy, or the desire to try and ruin what she has from the remains of a problematic and broken friendship.
i also want to admit that i have kept up with sharon’s life. partly out of curiosity, partly from nostalgia and how deep her impact on my life has been. i saw a few of her online shows during lockdown, pre-june, and also watched her halloween and valentine specials. her art remains incredibly close to my heart and whether u love her or hate her, she is a talented and engaging performer.
i know that she’s still working, and that in spite of everything she’s been through, she’s slowly getting better. i’m genuinely glad about this. i understand that this might upset some people.
it’s difficult to reconcile a lot of these feelings. it’s important to always believe the victim primarily, which is what i did until i had reason otherwise. and i know better than to gloss over sharon’s problematic past, though again i can say from being somewhat closer than average that i know of many ways she’s worked to undo these wrongs as much as possible. she’s not a public person, as much as she should be, and tends to go for actions over words that fly under the radar a little more. she supports a wide range of charities for marginalised members of the community and POC. i know i’m in no position to speak on it beyond that, nor to decide whether or not she should be forgiven, so i won’t. instead i will say that i find it particularly touching in my case how hard sharon fights for women’s rights, the inclusion/validation of AFAB performers, and her quiet activism.
i totally understand anyone who chooses to not forgive and not forget. i understand anyone who thinks she doesn’t deserve it. i just personally think that there are worse people out there than someone who is earnestly trying, and our energy should be diverted.
i honestly just wish everyone involved in this mess the best. i hope that ann*cy receives the help they need, i hope that sharon continues to work to fix her mistakes and i hope we can one day move past the idea of “cancelling” someone in the vicious, hateful way that the internet/particularly rpdr spaces do. i don’t hold any hate or pain in my heart like i did last summer.
i welcome any polite questions in my inbox but any harassment like i received last year will not be tolerated.
full of nostalgia rn remembering the time @artificialortega and i looked around at the crowd for the United Kingdolls show and acknowledged, mildly horrified, that there was a good chance some people in the room knew who we were (as writers), but didn’t know it was us
i forgave you when you kicked Willam off season 4 even tho she was destined to win.
i forgave you when you put MiMi Imfurst on All Stars.
Even tho there were people way more qualified…
hell, i even forgave you when you let Santino inaccurately state that Alyssa’s dress was the worst in 5 seasons, neglecting to recall Mystique’s country realness,
every time a young gay person quits smoking or makes the decision that they want to quit, the sun shines on us all with the promise of happiness and beauty.
i appreciate everybody that’s sharing the sentiment that it’s good for anyone to quit smoking (it is) but i very specifically wanted to highlight and encourage LGBTQ youth because lesbian, gay, and bisexual people are about 1.5 to 2.5 times more likely to smoke cigarettes than heterosexual people, and the statistics for transgender people are even higher than cisgender people. this is due to tobacco companies marketing heavily and aggressively to LGBTQ communities and exploiting the higher rates of mental health struggles prevalent in our communities.
i want and hope to see all my LGTBQ people live long, healthy, fulfilled lives despite how predatory and punishing this world can be. you should stay around as long as you can to make it a little better in your own way.
I wanna specifically shoutout trans men here because back in the day (I don’t know if it’s still prevalent) there was quite a common rumour going around that smoking could make your voice deeper, which meant a huge upstick in young trans men taking up smoking.
So, if any trans men are being told about this, it’s not true!! Smoking will not change your voice, at least not until you’re about forty years down the line and you’ve already irreparably destroyed your lungs and throat and mouth and pretty much every other organ in your body. When you hear heavy smokers with deeper, scratchier voices it is literally because their vocal cords have been ruined. This is not a passive effect of smoking, it is a very very damaging one!
It’s simply not worth it! There will be no meaningful changes except terrible ones. Voice training will do a lot more for you than cigarettes will, I promise that the people urging you to start smoking as a voice training method do not have your best interests at heart!
(And you know what, this also goes for not eating due to the idea that starving yourself will decrease your chest size. Like with smoking, there will be no meaningful changes except terrible ones. Your body is worth so much more than that and there will always be healthier alternatives!)
I wanna see trans people thrive, and one day when things get better and you’re able to start your transition, you’ll want a body that will last as long as possible so you can enjoy every little moment of your life. Please take care of yourself!!
As for trans women and other trans people taking estrogen HRT, smoking has been proven to reduce or even cancel out the effects of estrogen on the body. If you quit smoking, your transition will be faster, fuller, and smoother. I know that it's hard, but your boobs will thank you!
(Btw, afaik smoking only has this effect on estrogen from HRT. Estrogen that AFAB bodies produce naturally is not affected, so smoking is still bad for trans men)
In addition (and this applies to all trans people), smoking increases risks of complications during surgery, so doctors might refuse to let you get whatever surgeries you want if you smoke. They'll at least tell you to quit for a while beforehand, which will be easier to do if you'd already quit to begin with.
Ao3 version that lets you open the 'director's cut' where I, the author, explain every detail in excruciating detail to you and what it is in reference to.
I just wanna say when I was 12 I was obsessed with your acc and I read all your fanfics but one day I couldn’t find ur blog anywhere until 6 years later when I randomly remembered you existed lol
i suddenly feel incredibly old but omg thank u lmao, i hope they can still bring u some joy or at least fond memories of life being easier
