btw you absolutely do not need to entertain anything you don’t want

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@pursigido
btw you absolutely do not need to entertain anything you don’t want
When you settle for less, you never actually get what you settled for. You get even less. Every time you accept something beneath your standards whether it’s a relationship, a job, or how someone treats you, you’re not just compromising the situation… you’re compromising yourself. You’re telling your mind, “This is fine. This is all I get.” And little by little you start living down to that. It chips away at your confidence, your joy, your spark. It makes you question things you never questioned before
You shine when you choose what aligns with your worth. You rise when you acknowledge to yourself that you are not that person anymore. That you know you’re worthy of more. Better. The moment you raise your standards, life shifts to match you. Better people show up. Better opportunities show up. You show up differently. So please don’t shrink yourself just to keep something small. Don’t trade your peace for what feels familiar. Don’t accept the bare minimum when your whole soul is built for more. You deserve a life that fits you not a life you have to fold yourself into. The second you stop settling, everything gets brighter
Highly recommend when you’re alone and in a peaceful state to spend sometime envisioning a goal you have for yourself: I mean really envisioning it, to the point where you’re feeling the things you’re envisioning. I just finished doing that now with a 2 year plan (plan not goal cause it’s already done). And as I’m driving I realized I’ve been doing that for as long as I could remember and everything that I envisioned I have gotten. To take it a step further; the more you think about it the more you start making subconscious decisions that align you with that path. Even though the path might be not the greatest at times. Infact the more I thought about it. The more I made decisions. When I think about it, the more I thought about it and really envisioned it. The more I made decisions that were final alignment. The faster I got those things. So that definitely plays a huge factor
Since a lot of people have asked, I want to explain what I mean when I talk about alignment and flow
Being in alignment means your thoughts, emotions, actions and your values are moving in the same direction. What you say matches what you feel, and what you choose reflects who you want to become. Your habits align with your standards, and your nervous system feels steady instead of conflicted. Alignment doesn’t mean life is easy. It means you’re not betraying yourself to make something work. You’re not forcing energy, performing, or over explaining
When you’re aligned, decisions feel clear, even if they’re hard. It doesn’t mean your road map is going to only give you the things you want. But the things you need to reach your goal. I think there’s a lot of confusion in that. You don’t chase what isn’t reciprocated, and you’re not drained from pretending. When you’re misaligned, there’s tension. You overthink, ignore red flags, and feel exhausted. Alignment is inner coherence your identity, standards, and behavior are synced. And it matters because it creates sustainable momentum. When your actions match who you’re becoming the resistance weakens. A simple check would be if no one saw this choice, would you still make it? If yes, you’re likely aligned
Flow is what happens after alignment
It’s where you’re so immersed in what you’re doing that time fades, your self doubt goes away and your actions feel natural to you. You’re not forcing effort, but you’re not passive either. You’re fully engaged & challenged, but still capable. Focused, yet calm “I know what I am doing” “This is part of the plan”
Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi described it as the sweet spot where your skill meets challenge. Too easy and you’re bored. Too hard and you’re anxious. Flow lives in the middle where you’re stretched enough to grow without tipping into overwhelm
In flow, your nervous system is steady. People think to have a steady nervous system means doing nothing. But really it has a lot to do with living in alignment. You stop overthinking and start responding instinctively. That’s why your best ideas, workouts, or writing often happen when you’re “in the zone”
Alignment is about who you’re being. Flow is about what you’re doing. Alignment is identity. Flow is performance. Flow is easier to access when you’re aligned, because you’re not fighting yourself internally. And the more you enter it, the easier it becomes to return
When people do hurtful things do you think “God makes it right”. Or “ Karma will come.” What is your mindset when people treat you in a way that’s unfair
Well… before, I used to think a lot of not so nice things. And if I’m being honest sometimes I was the karma :)
I feel like I have much better discernment now. People don’t really get the opportunity to disrespect or deeply hurt me the way they once could. That doesn’t mean it never happens, but it would take a lot. I would have to be very emotionally invested
And even then, I let myself feel it. I don’t bypass my feelings. But once I’m done feeling them, I redirect my attention inward. I ask myself what this revealed, what I ignored, where I overextended, or where I tied too much of my identity to the situation. I work on that part so I don’t put myself in that position again
The truth is, sometimes people will disappoint us. But what makes it devastating is when we abandon ourselves in the process, when we attach our worth, identity, stability to them
Disappointment hurts. Self abandonment hurts more
I do believe people eventually experience the consequences of who they are. But I don’t need to monitor that. Life handles people in ways we don’t always see. It literally has nothing to do with me. I can only control myself, and my life. A life that revolves around me and taking care of me
For me, the real power is removing access and moving accordingly. Especially in a world where people expect you to react. Peace is a better outcome than payback
And once again January. And once again the familiar ache and hope. Will this year be on my side? And if not, will I do well, anyway? No resolutions, no goals. Your life is larger than one calendar year. Let there be emotional house rules, orientations, and guidelines. Let there be cake and books and not staying longer than your nervous system signs off for. Let there be new hobbies and old comforts. Let there be joys you cannot possibly fathom right now. Let there be wins. Let there be grace in losses. And let your stomach continue to allow for spicy food and cigarettes. Smile like you always do. Share your inner dialogue less. Write as much, more, perhaps. Read the books that pick you. Tune out off the noise. Let yourself be bored. And yes, more flowers, please. More dinners on rooftop restaurants on full moon nights. Don’t confuse emotional labour for intimacy. Reduce your exposure to extractive situations and connections. Refill your bottle of water more promptly and let your skin be moisturised. Journal by hand, journal digitally. Keep understanding your body and personality and work with it, never against it. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. More visits to the sea. More letting things be. You’re lovely. You’re doing good. Breathe.
Choosing a life partner is such a big decision — hindi talaga dapat minamadali. Yung tao na pipiliin mo will shape your peace, your growth, your happiness, even your relationship with God. Kasi totoo… your partner becomes part of the “environment” you live in every single day.
Kaya kung gusto mo ng buhay na may peace, purpose, at konting kilig na hindi toxic, piliin mo yung kaya mag-build nun with you. Hindi yung paulit-ulit kang hinihila pabalik sa pagod, stress, at overthinking.
Love is nice, chemistry is exciting… pero sa totoo lang, ang nagtatagal is character, consistency, respect, shared values, at shared faith.
Piliin mo yung may maturity, may direction, at may pusong marunong magmahal nang maayos.
And please — kapag may red flags, wag mo i-justify. Hindi sila challenge. Warning sila. Minsan mas mabilis nakaka-pick up yung spirit mo kaysa sa puso mo.
The best way to choose wisely is to build a life you already love.
Kasi pag buo ka, hindi ka pipili dahil sa loneliness — pipili ka dahil may clarity ka, may peace ka, at alam mong hindi mo deserve ang half-love.
Kapag tama yung pili mo… iba yung ripple effect.
Your mental health, your joy, your home, your future — lahat nagiging mas magaan, mas masaya, at mas aligned kay Lord. 🤍✨
Take your time. Pray. Listen. God will never let you settle for less than His best.
PS: Kung sino man yung para sa’kin… wag ka magmadali, pero sana papunta ka na. 😌✨
““Have you been well?,” he asks “Surprisingly, yes. Have you?,” she says “That’s good to hear. Me too,” he says “I’ve been wanting to tell you this but I didn’t have the chance. I.. I want you to know that, even if you didn’t regret leaving me behind back then, I still am thankful we happened. It was hard at first when you left. Gahd, it was close to hell. But as I inhaled all the pain and sadness, I learned to exhale them slowly. Then one day I woke up without any thoughts of you and it was the same as the next day. I learned to smile without faking it. I felt kinda free and though there were times when things reminded me of you, it didn’t hurt anymore,” she says and means it..”
— y.a // this is what i would tell you (via baristangmaganda)
“Don’t remember me… I don’t want to be that someone that crosses your mind when you’re lonely at night… I can’t be the person you lust for and wish to have by your side…. Don’t let me be the person that your tears fall for… Don’t allow yourself to want me when I’m around no more … Don’t sleep with my memory on your mind, don’t daydream about how it feels like to have me with you.. I don’t want to be the reason behind your pain when I’m gone… I don’t want to hurt you no more, so just forget about me. forget about how I made you feel, forget that what we once had was real. Don’t you dare remember how I made you smile, or how I looked back at you when you acted like a child…. please forget my love and care, forget that I was willing to show up at your door when you needed me there… Don’t remember me.. because you’re the reason I’m with you no more”
— (via wordsnquotes)
make decisions today as the person you want to be, not the one you used to be
I hope you find your way back to yourself. to the version of you that you miss, to a version of you that you recognize and identify with. I hope you meet happy again.
“Easier said than done”. Yeah but if you don’t even try to do it then it will never be done. Everything is easier said than done when we have to go against our natural habits and mindset. But when it’s something we really want to do or have outside of us, we tend to stubbornly go against all odds to get it. So why not do that with yourself? Easier said than done tells me that you’re operating in scarcity. That you don’t really love yourself, that you don’t trust yourself enough to believe you’re capable of change and that deep down you’ve accepted staying the same as your default. And that’s the real problem
Choosing a life partner is one of the most important decisions you will ever make. Do not let anyone rush you into this. Who you choose doesn’t just shape your love life, it shapes your health, your wealth, your happiness and even your sense of identity. This person becomes the backdrop of your everyday reality, influencing how you think, feel and show up in the world. That’s why you must approach this choice with the same care and discernment as you would any other high stakes decision
Your partner becomes your environment. Their habits, their emotional regulation & their mindset all leave an imprint on you. If you want a life of peace, growth, and purpose, you need to choose someone who will co create that environment with you not someone who drains you or keeps you in a cycle of chaos and recovery
Love by itself is not enough. Chemistry is exciting, but it’s compatibility, respect and shared vision that sustain a relationship in the long run. Look for alignment in values and goals, choose character over charm and prioritize someone who is committed to their growth. The right partner should inspire you to rise higher, not keep you stagnant
Pay attention to red flags. They are not challenges to overcome, they are stop signs. Your body often senses the truth before your mind catches up and ignoring those signals can cost you years of your life, along with your confidence and peace of mind
The best way to choose wisely is to build a life you love first. When you feel fulfilled and secure on your own, you choose a partner from a place of clarity rather than desperation. This is what helps you avoid settling and ensures that your relationship adds to your life rather than becoming the center of it
When you choose well, the ripple effects are profound. Your mental health improves, you build a home that feels safe, you create the possibility of generational wealth and you model healthy love for the next generation. In many ways, your life truly does depend on this choice so make it wisely
“Instead of saying ‘I’m damaged, I’m broken, I have trust issues’ say ‘I’m healing, I’m rediscovering myself, I’m starting over.’”
— Horatio Jones
This sounds beautiful.
No one is watching you as much as you think they are. No one cares if you're biking alone, playing basketball by yourself, or sitting by a river with a blanket and a book. What actually matters is how those things make you feel. Do they bring you peace? Do they make you happy? That’s what counts. Not some random stranger’s opinion that won’t even last ten seconds. think again
And even if they are watching you, you aren’t that important to them or their day and they will simply move on and go back to focusing on their own endeavors. Don’t let the momentary eyes of others prevent you from living your life.
💗 A Healthy Relationship Should:
Boost your confidence
Encourage you to achieve your goals
Elevate your happiness
Bring you peace
Provide stability & security
Cultivate experiences
Nurture emotional and physical intimacy
Inspire you to take care of yourself
Enhance your life
💗 A Healthy Relationship Should Not:
Undermine your self esteem
Hinder your independence
Limit your growth
Create stress
Promote jealousy
Neglect your needs
Isolate you
Manipulate or guilt you
Be overly dependent
Ignore boundaries
My every day retinol drink 🥤
🧑🔬 Beets – Packed with antioxidants and polyphenols, boosts collagen & keeps skin looking radiant
🥕 Carrots – Full of beta carotene to defend your skin from UV damage
🍯 Ginger – boosts circulation, oxygenating & supports collagen for natural glow. Detoxes your skin
🍎 Apple – Fight oxidative stress & promotes collagen
🍋 Lemon - Brightens skin, reduce dark spots, promotes collagen production & helps detox your body