✨✨✨✨✨ @pussymasterdooku - Tumblr Blog

My mayor told me ghosts keep eating his tourists so I asked how many tourists he has and he said he just calls a New York Times travel journalist and gets new tourists afterwards so I said it sounds like he’s just feeding tourists to ghosts and then his assistant started crying.

#tv: widow’s bay

alexielmovienights

I was already enjoying Widow’s Bay, but episode 4 really stepped it up. Weird, creepy, funny, and somehow even better than before.

Honestly, I’d absolutely recommend it.

Who else is watching?

#tv: widow’s bay

official-lucifers-child

Wiggle

c4pyb4ra

it did not work, but i can help

big wiggle

sunderwight

We need to put out periodic reminders in fandom that trying to argue in favor of the divine right of kings or defending wartime atrocities or rich people's entitlement to the deference of indentured servants or whatever is, in fact, way less compelling and far stupider than just going well, that character is hot and this is fiction so I've decided it's all good.

Wanting to fuck the evil demon king because he's gorgeous and tormented is far more respectable than trying to defend his actual policies. If someone accuses you of only liking him because you want to fuck him, you can just say yeah that's true, and then what? Either they kinkshame you or they leave. Checkmate.

pooblet

SOURCE

I SAW THIS & IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF @shrimp-bird

gallusrostromegalus

@montereybayaquarium

identitty-dickruption

the thing is. knowing someone experiences hallucinations or trouble reading facial expressions or communication difficulties or any other symptom CAN help you to understand their behaviour and respond to it appropriately. but knowing someones diagnosis is never as helpful as it is to listen to them when they talk about how they can best be accommodated. and if “can you please speak slower” (for example) sounds like a ridiculous request from someone without a diagnosis and a reasonable one from someone with a diagnosis. well you’re the dick in that situation

fulda-gap-express

who is the Toronto baseball warlock

amongst-the-pines

Actually, Who's on first. The Toronto Warlock is somebody else

autie-j

Remember when Xbox was going to basically ban used games for the xbox one, and Playstation made fun of them with that video titled "how to share games on Playstation" and it was just one guy handing another a game disk? And now Playstation is getting rid of physical disks entirely

larken-the-skies

It’s like they expect us to just forget their original marketing schemes in favor of more and more money grabs.

i-suggest-piracy

i have a suggestion

nyctosaurid

barnyard the original party animals is the uncontested lord of bad implications in childrens movies

nyctosaurid

ok so like “the secret life of x” movies tend to not strongly explore the actual reasons why, exactly, their life has to be secret… they don’t really focus on it within the narrative. They do usually have some small justification for why animals or video games or toys or whatever have never just revealed themselves:

There’s no stated reason. They just pretend to not be alive. We usually can suspend our suspension of disbelief here because when it’s something like a video game or an emoji because any odd occurrences is perceived as a glitch or something similar but the actual reason why they aren’t too hung up on this kinda shitty lot in life isn’t said

They get something out of their current relationship with humans (like in toy story)

They have some specific reason to hide that they’re alive, like they die if they’re seen (like in the christmas toy)

They perceive themselves as sentient, talking creatures, but humans can’t understand them. They just see a squeaking mouse or an inanimate hot dog or whatever.

and the last one is what most animal movies do, and it’s like, not devoid of weird implications but you can see where it mostly works.

but barnyard is the outlier here: it goes with tier one: the animals can talk and walk on two legs but just pretend that they can’t for unstated reasons.

in the history of the barnyard world non human animals, at some point, decided to just pretend to be unable to speak. a “cow” or a “coyote” or a “hen” do not exist as we know it in the barnyard universe. the baa of the sheep is false; the ewe doesn’t understand it either. they only made up that noise to hide the fact that they speak human languages. a dog barking and running on all fours is a facade. animals naturally walk on their hind legs and made up whole postures just to appear non sentient.

and for what? what do they gain from this? they have no rights and no voice by their own choice. at one point a donkey claims the farmer is a good person because he’s vegan and a pig mentions bacon - this is not a fantasy universe devoid of death and misery and meat. do animals, in hushed whispers, remind their children not to sob in their real voice as they’re taken away? do the dogs not beg for kindness when they’re tied up and hit? do cows and chickens not cry for their life in the slaughterhouses? does a rat not scream a human scream when the trap misses their neck and only breaks their spine? Why? what is the point? They loose so much and have everything to gain.

anyways does everyone remember this really awful cat. it only appears in one scene but i can just sense the porn of it that would pop up if i googled it’s name

inkthecryptid

This post is like being tied to a chair as a a joker-style villain monologues and presses a gun closer and closer to my head as he reaches the climax of his rehearsed piece on the flaws of society and when he finally pulls the trigger it’s a little flag that says “bang!”

dogpuppy

doubleca5t

Uhhhh let me be queer

#oh gabe amo and the various ways voicemail transcripts fuck up your name #which is to say RHODE ISLAND MENTIONNNNN

wyrmicelli

me tongue-deep in a sandalwood candle: 🤤

the tjmaxx employee loading a fourth tranquilizer dart into their blowgun: i need backup

snowown

vampire-lady-of-lesbos

Saw a comment calling The Pitt "the hospital yaoi show" when the only canon queer relationship is between two women

#tv: the pitt

just-french-me-up

the urge to write is like a cat meowing for dear life for someone to open the goddamn door, who then shows utter disinterest in said open door

flanneldragon

halo lore is so fucking funny to me. all it really needed to be was 'youre john halo and youre a badass space marine that doesnt afraid of anything' but instead youre a war orphan created by the space CIA to be a robo-pinkerton to put down galactic worker revolts, but luckily whole hordes of you were created right in time for the most evil alien empire to ever exist to make first contact with us by nuking a planet to glass

flanneldragon

also, the evil alien empire isnt doing this because theyre evil, their trio of space popes asked an ancient sacred AI what the fuck humans were and the ai was like 'oh those are ants that god loves more than you' and the popes immediately decided the only way to keep their cushy jobs and big dumb hats was to annihilate the human race. it almost worked, too! luckily, one of the robo-pinkertons is so freakishly lucky an AI noticed the statistical anomalies surrounding him and took him in as her favorite little meow meow and now they have a toxic co-dependent relationship and are going to nuke alien new york

radgepaquet

obsessed with this interaction where someone has apparently been living with the sincere belief that misha collins threw the shoe at bush

danceundersparklinglights

i’m going to be really honest with you guys i think the tendency to read the absolute worst possible intentions into every action you don’t agree with is getting too automatic and it’s eating you from the inside out

angelicguy

hotdog burst in microwave

angelicguy

ephemeralpool

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