Frank sat there, all confused about this thing with Karen, but he had it. He had everything. He should have held onto it. He should have used two hands and never let go.
Kastle + a gentle first kiss that morphs into intense want.
Vaguely NSFW and also on ao3.
She’d always thought it would happen differently than it actually does.
After almost dying, maybe – they’re both prone to that too often, it’s not like that hypothetical narrows down the possibilities. Or maybe right before one of them actually dies, if the universe ever lets that happen. Or, at the softest, one of those nights where he bleeds all over her bathroom and she doesn't say how she feels because that’s not who he needs her to be and-
She doesn't expect it to happen one of the weird nights nothing is in crisis, but she should've seen it coming. Of course he can’t do anything when there are other priorities. Too single-minded for that. She should've known.
Well. Nothing physical is in crisis. She suspects something is going on in his mind that he isn’t saying – he doesn't turn up when everything is functional, she knows that – but whatever demons he’s herding aren’t actively her problem right now. They’re on her couch, he came bearing takeout, she can almost convince herself this is… more than it is, that they’re normal, that they’re-
She always thought she’d have to move first. Turns out she's wrong about that too.
It’s not that late. They’re both sober. As far as she knows, there is nothing in the world that this could be a distraction from. Everything she thinks she knows about the inevitable is, as it turns out, bullshit.
He leans in and kisses her like it’s the most casual thing he’s ever done, and her first reaction is anger. He’s always so dramatic, and she’d figured anything that might happen between them would be the same, and now he does this?! How dare he.
But on the other hand, it’s a good kiss. Softer than she expects, an uncertainty to it that doesn't mesh with her understanding of him but she likes it, she wants to melt into it, she wants-
“Frank?”
“Yeah?”
“Are we doing this?”
He takes another kiss, and this one is… not soft. This is what she expects, this is what everyone else out there would expect him to do. His hands get up in her hair and she knows he’d never try to hurt her but if this goes further she’s going to end up with awkward bruises, if this goes further-
Does she want it to go further?
The thing about daydreams, Karen decides, is that they’re fun as long as they feel impossible. She’s been in this weird platonic situationship for years and Of course she’s thought about escalation, he’s a pretty man with a weird and stubborn loyalty towards her and even with all his damage he’d probably be the best idea she’s ever slept with and wow does that say a few things about her past life choices and-
Screw it. He’d listen if she said no, but she also suspects she won't see him for six months if she calls it thataway. Might as well do the thing and see if that fixes them.
And it’s not like she doesn't want this. She’s never taken her time in the past, and this isn’t an unknown, this is someone who's been recurrently in her life for long enough that she knows exactly what she’s getting into, it’s not like-
“Stop me, if-”
“I’m not going to stop you.”
They’re doing this. As quickly as possible. Get it over with.
It helps that they don't have to go through the awkward seeing each other's bodies for the first time bits. They have done that, often enough that her daydreams have had accurate details, and sure it’s different without her questioning what he’s forgetting to tell her but it’s also easier. She knows where she’s putting her hands, and he’s a little less sure but not clueless either, and-
“Not sure about this couch."
“Floor?”
They’re getting too old for that to be the best idea ever, but it gets her laid out and him on top of her and this part they know just as well, they’ve done everything lovers do but with clothes on, she knows the weight of his body hovering over hers but usually that happens because they’ve both made shitty choices and now someone is shooting at them for very good reasons, and this is a little different, and-
He tilts his head, she nods, and he drops.
They won't talk about this after, she thinks as her body processes the closeness of it. She’d be surprised if she sees him for a week after – she’d bet longer, but her current projects are what they are and he’s more reliable when she’s chasing a story and isn’t sure how much she might've gotten into, he’s overprotective but she gets the reasons, it’s kinda cute that he can’t say he cares about her but he’s determined to keep her alive and maybe that’s what this looks like, maybe-
“I don't care if I-”
She’s never gotten off her first time with someone new, she wants to say but that’s too much detail for current circumstances. She knows she’s got low standards, what woman doesn't, but-
What matters is she gets close. What matters is she’s warm by the time his breath catches, what matters is he breathes her name not someone else’s, wow her standards are lower than they ought to be there, and-
He lingers, in the aftermath. Shifts his weight a bit but doesn't immediately pull out. Wants to make this last.
“Stay,” she breathes. “Just… tonight. If you don't have anywhere else you need to be.”
“Nothing I can’t change my mind about."
In the morning, she’ll process what happened, she’ll go out and get an emergency pill to cover her tail because this could end very bad very fast and she doesn't want that set of problems, and maybe it happens again and maybe it doesn't, and-
He pets her hair as he shifts off of her, and she’s pretty sure she’s never wanted anything more, and-
I like how that shock kinda got me frozen. Like i can physically move and I want to move and do things but all those things feels impossible all at the same time.
Can someone send some small Frank Castle/Reader or Kastle headcanons to me I just found out my POS emotionally abusive ex got married to someone he most likely cheated on me with and I am not OK I need Frankie to make it all better. Thanks love u. <3
K so from what I'm reading from an article on CBR, Jon WONT be back in DDBA at all. Because he and the creators had creative differences and didn't like the direction Punisher was going in BA.
Idk man that kinda kills it for me unless he gets his own spin-off again. And hopefully Karen comes in and they do shenanigans (ie kiss).
my favorite genre of fictional character is like "i am terrifying to almost everyone, i'm very good at killing, i can endure anything, i've become exceptionally good at playing into my reputation, and if you try to give me positive social interaction i will react with confusion and cower in a corner like an abused animal. and i may try to shoot you. but there is also a chance i may imprint on you like a feral dog receiving its first loving touch! good luck."
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