i always wonder how in the hell people get through the day without crying at least once. did i do something wrong? what was the goddamn despicable event that i caused the brought upon this dreadful karma into my life. all i did was live my life. but then sometimes i also think, maybe THATS where i went wrong. maybe i wasnt supposed to be here, and the pain i feel is the universe just whispering ‘go! run! leave! hide! you werent even supposed to be here, you were a mistake. just get rid of yourself before you fuck up anymore.’ and then sometimes when i think that, i wonder, whats my purpose here?? i mean if everything happens for a reason, what the FUCK is my reason for happening?? and the worse part about feeling this way is that no one gets it. now when i say that, i sound like a dramatic teen who isnt ‘understood’. but no, thats not what this is. people think mental illness and depression and anxiety is cute. they romanticize it in media when its not pretty. its not a pretty girl softly crying in the corner. its heart wrenching sobbing coming from the bathroom floor as a girl gags on the thought of going to SCHOOL. or a guy slamming his head into his closet in a red blubbery mess because he cant talk to his family. when i try to talk about my issues, when i try to reach out to people i trust, they all of the sudden have bigger problems than me and they dont offer help. i often feel LITERALLY empty and emotionless like a bottomless pit, and people ask why im being so bitchy to them. and then they dont get why i dont talk about my problems. but when i DO talk, im told to 'look on the bright side’ or 'think about people who have bigger problems’ or 'realize that i have everything i need’. but you know what i REALLY need? comfort. because im sad, and lonely, and broken. and i need comfort.
prguitarman
turnnoffyourmind
kianamaiart
pixelskylines
