Quinn Middleton Photography

Concerts // Portraits // Misadventures

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Apartments - Vancouver, BC

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2015.02.19

The Sheepdogs @ The Commodore Ballroom, Vancouver BC

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2016.02.15

The Next Step - Wild Rhythm Tour @ The Queen Elizabeth Theatre, Vancouver BC

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#29 - Drubbing

Today I got a call from Nikon, one I was painfully awaiting. Late last week I was given an estimate on the repair of my camera, one that I could in the distant future afford. Today, however, I was given bad news: my camera will not be able to be fixed and I've been advised to buy a new camera. This is not something I am able to do, so I am very disheartened to announce the end of my project. It's not the end, though, as I am not ending this project by result of not being able to finish it as a person, but being forced to withdraw due to unexpected events. This means that, when I get another camera, I will be starting over at day one. Stay tuned, as I will now be catching up and posting old concerts from my archives that I have not yet shown you. Thank you to those of you who gave support before I started this project and continued to help me until today.

As this is for now the end, I thought it would be fitting to post the single photograph I took before my camera took it's fall. This was taken in the early evening during one of the final sunsets of Autumn right after a heavy storm. 

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#28 - Pacification I've been coming to peace, or at least trying to find such a place, with both things I have done and have had done to me. It's not something I talk about very often as there's a lot to it, but mostly it's quite private, along with those feelings that go in hand with them. Coming to peace with these things - knowing if I have found it or not - is something I seem to question myself about almost daily. If one questions if they've come to terms with something, does that mean that they haven't or that they're scared they have?

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#27 Innominate

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#26 - Repression

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#25 - Betoken

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#24 - Disparity Despite being a concert photographer, I've never worked with light; it's never been my strong suite. I believe in working with what you're given, so in terms of lighting I've only used natural light. However, even with natural light I'm still out of my element. It's good to be uncomfortable, though, as it forces you to push your own boundaries and relearn what you know. Such was the case for me with this shot. I'm trying not to over analyze this shot which is proving to be difficult.

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#23 - Prevail

Last night I broke my camera and along with it my spirits. I didn't know what to do, so I panicked and called people upon realizing they couldn't help me. I was wrong, and I realized that today. My good friend didn't give me pity, and I'm glad. He gave me a kick in the ass, while another friend caringly encouraged me to keep going. At the time, I didn't care for what they were trying to tell me. I was being ignorant in my stubbornness of which was brought on by anger and disappointment.

This project is about overcoming obstacles, showing you're more than just equipment, and most importantly, not giving up. I almost gave up last night, and I am so glad I didn't. I can't express my gratitude to these two friends and the push their words gave me.

This series has now taken a turn on me, but one I'm whiling to face. I may not be using my camera for a while, but I have got ways to continue on. Whether I'm borrowing outdated cameras or setting up my phone and timer on tripod, I do not want to stop. So remember this as I will: No matter what steep hills you may come across, know there is always a way to make it. Stop, breathe, and clear your mind. You can find a way if you truly want to.

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#22 - Capitulate

This evening I broke my camera. I had it set up on my tripod at the end of a slough on some rocks above water. It was secure; stable. I was going through my bag to get my remote, and when I turned around I hit my tripod with my elbow and witnessed the fall. It hit the rocks and water with a five foot drop. My spirits broke with the fall. I was shocked, and at first I thought it was okay. I ran down to my camera, shaking and talking to it as though my best friend had just died (imagine any movie scene when a parent's child dies). I didn't know what to do. I just sat there in complete defeat, crying and yelling for half an hour. My camera didn't turn on, and it now has cracks and chips on both sides of the body. I don't know if I was more worried about my photo or my camera, and I still don't. Luckily I work in a camera store, so I was able to borrow a used one for this photo. A good friend of mine offered to lend me one of his cameras, too. These are both two things I know I cannot do, not for this long of time, because it will take me a long time to save to get my camera repaired. All I know is I feel like I'm done.

I've thought through every scenario in my head and each one, despite the length of time, ends with me not finishing this project and possibly in more debt. I want to keep going to desperately, but I want to call it quits with all of my body. I don't know what to do, no matter what my friends are telling me. I appreciate their encouragement, don't get me wrong, but I feel defeated. I feel lost. I don't feel strong enough to keep going right now. I need to sleep and come to terms with what has happened and figure out with a clear mind what to do.

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#21 - Morass

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#20 - Writhe

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#19 - Sapling

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#17 - Home

There's always been something comforting about the streets for me. I'm not too sure if it's the cold concrete against my hands, the warmth of the street lights on my head, or the sounds that come from the mouths of the shadows, but being on the streets - especially during the dark - has always come with a feeling of safety. You wouldn't suspect it, but I was raised in poverty. This is something I strangely hold dear to my heart and one thing in my life I would not change. I've now come to process that there were many times I could have ended up on the street. Maybe that's why I feel so at home there.

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#16 - Evacuation

I need to get out. I need to get out of my house, out of my town, out of my province. I want to explore and discover. I've had a longing for discovery for quite some time, yet I some how always seem to convince myself I have neither the time nor the money. I both know where I want to go but also have no idea where to go. It's frustrating, to say the least, feeling stuck in your own backyard when you're wanting to find new things but can't leave. Dropping everything and leaving has been a dream of mine. I think of this quite often talk myself right to the point, but then I rest my head and wake up the next morning with what I can only call logical thoughts. But are they?

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#15 - Comatose

I've been sick now since I started this project, but it only really hit me when I had a chance to lay and rest. Ironic, really. I haven't been feeling my usual self, but my normal personality, along with my health, is slowly coming back. I spent most of my weekend outdoors which seems to have not only inspired my mind, but also my health. It's a good feeling.