qprstories

[qprstories]

Introduction

Hello, and welcome to qprstories! This blog was created by me, mod Ari (they/he), to document the experiences people have had being in QPRs! While searching around online to figure out my own thoughts and feelings about QPRs, I noticed that a lot of content online only explains what QPRs are on a surface level. This can be helpful to those who have never heard of them, but not much else. Relationships, in my mind, are best not understood by their dictionary definition but by the experiences of the people in them. For friendships, romantic relationships, and other common types of relationships in our society, this really isn’t a problem, but QPRs are so niche that barely anything exists about real people’s real life experiences with them. A resource for people’s experiences in QPRs, then, would foster a deeper understanding of them for everyone, including those seeking a QPR, those in QPRs, and those looking to understand them. Hence, this blog.

What even is a QPR, anyways?

QPRs, short for queerplatonic relationships, are difficult to define because the exact meaning and terms of a QPR are determined by those involved. They are meant to a respite for those who do not wish to conform to society’s expectations surrounding romantic and platonic relationships. Generally, QPRs occupy an “in-between” between friendship and romance, offering more commitment and intimacy than what is typical of friendship without the feelings and expectations of romantic relationships. Many a-spec (aromantic and asexual) people are drawn to QPRs because it allows them to have a committed relationship without the possibly unfavorable expectations of feelings and intimacy romantic relationships offer. However, anyone can be in a QPR, it is not restricted to only aspec people. QPRs can involve anything those involved desire, including sex and raising children together, but they may not. They can be polyamorous and monogamous, and you can be in a QPR and a romantic relationship at the same time. It depends on the relationship.

What’s gonna be on this blog?

This blog is not an askblog, but it does rely greatly on asks. If you have had any experiences with QPRs and being in one, please share them! It can be as simple as a time you really enjoyed “hanging out” with your QPP or as complex as the entire story of your past/present QPP. Additionally, if you have memes or your own thoughts about QPRs you would like to share, please, send them! That’s literally what this blog exists for. The only rules are as follows

It must be related to QPRs, or more broadly, queerplatonic attraction/the concept in general. You are welcome to talk about other topics as long as they relate to QPRs in some way.

No sexually explicit content. That doesn’t mean you can’t talk about having sex in a QPR... feel free to do so! Just nothing explicit, please.

No discourse or bigotry.

And that’s all!

Along with asks, this blog will also contain reblogs of other content relating to QPRs, like memes, text posts, and others. As I am also currently in a QPR of my own, I might also post stories of my own.

To make this blog easy to navigate, I’m going to use a tagging system to allow you to see the type of posts you want to see. They are:

#qprstories: Stories from people in QPRs, whether they be others or my own.

#myqprstories: Stories belonging to me, Mod Ari. My posts will be tagged with #qprstories as well as this tag.

#qpradvice: Advice about QPRs, may include reblogs.

#qprmemes: Memes about QPRs, may include reblogs.

#qprpostivity: Positivity about QPRs, may include reblogs

#qprthoughts: Thoughts about QPRs (think like, textposts), may include reblogs.

#qprupdates: Updates about this blog. 

#qprmisc: Anything that does not fit into the above categories.

One last note

If you know anyone who would appreciate this blog or are active on other social media platforms, please, share this! I want this resource to help as many people as possible.

Tagging some popular blogs with QPR-related content to spread the word: @queerplatonicpositivity @qpr-culture-is @ace-aro-queerplatonic-positivity

[foreststarflaime]

Sure sure romantic pairings are fine and all. But more people should perhaps consider two characters loving each other to the point of incomprehensibility. To the point that there is no simpler way in english to define or describe it than just to say those characters’ names together, joined eternally by the vague conjunction ‘and’. There’s so many types of love and dependencies and emotions in general thrown in there that you can’t tell what colors they are anymore, they’ve just joined into a giant blobby mess that’s almost black, but when you look closer glistens with more colors than there are names for. Just a thought

[convolutedblasphemy]

QPRs are basically homebrewing your relationship. I know what I want but it's far from all guidelines and prerequisites that society has given us. I could email you a PDF though.

[qprstories]

Me and my QPP story is so funny to us, genuinely

One night, I found out about QPR's, sent it to my QPP-to-be, and was like "Look! It's kinda like us! I think we accidentally got into a QPR lol"

And it went like this:

"How about we make it official 😼"

"Okay, I don't mind :D"

"What, really?"

It's so funny to us

🌻

[qprstories]

Hi, I really need to know cus I've been beating myself up with this for a week now. Is it ok to feel push to the sidelines if your qp has a romantic partner that they'll vent to you about or just talk to you about them? Ik that we never saw each other irl but idk I've been feeling weird HSBDBDHDHD

Hey, it's totally okay to feel that way! Amatonormativity is a bitch and many people act in accordance with it without realizing it. I'd recommend talking to your qpp to see if you can sort things out. Best of luck!

[queerplatonicpositivity]

is it normal to call a qpp a girlfriend/boyfriend platonically

Hiya @lunaxio ,

Thank you for sending this ask. I haven't really been active on Tumblr in awhile (lots of IRL stuff kicking my ass), but I saw this and wanted to reply.

One of the really cool things about queerplatonic partners is that being in a queerplatonic relationship can mean actively queering relationship expectations. And, in a sense, that means trying to deconstruct what "normal" is, or "should be."

Which is kind of a long way of saying that the very nature of having a qpp means it doesn't have to be "normal" and there really isn't a "normal" to begin with.

You or anyone else can absolutely use the terms "girlfriend" or "boyfriend" platonically -- you (and the people in relationships with you) get to decide the words you use for your relationships and what those words mean to you.

I hope this helps, and I hope you're having an amazing day. :D

[qprstories]

My QPP broke up with me recently it happened over text and their reason was that there the type of aromantic that once someone shares the same feelings about them they lose interest

I am not sure what to think we were together for 11 months

I know this is supposed to be light,sweet stories but I just wanted to share mine because QPRs aren't always a happily ever after

🌻

(Mod note: hey, it's okay to share not so-positive stories here! This blog is for all qpr related experiences lol)

[qprstories]

actually being an alloromantic/demiromantic in a queerplatonic relationship is special and beautiful to me

🌻

[qprstories]

Hi! I just discovered this page and i thought it would be funny to share this.

There was one time when me and my qpp were having a sleepover and we were cuddling and just talking about things we liked, suddenly, we started to talk about our friendship and how we were happy and lucky to be each other's best friend, they started to speak about the kind of affection they give and I said "yeah, we almost act like a qpr"... I stopped, looked at them and said again "wait, are we in a qpr?".

Like that meme "Is this play about us?".

It was just that, have a good day! Hahahaha.

🌻

[qprstories]

I'm disabled and my qpp also is on different degrees, I'm so grateful how they always look out for me since I'm usually the one in the worst condition

I'm just so grateful they do that to me even when we're long distance, their willingness to look over me no matter how messy I get, and how strongly they wish we could be close so we could cuddle just have my heart

🌻

[aroacepagans]

More on this later, but how we define qpps is messy and so all the fuck over the place that usually any two given definitions of a qpp will contradict each other. This is mostly true because qpps as a concept are not so much a different type of relationship as they are a reaction to amatonormativity and so when we try to talk to alloromantic people about qpps and define them based on feelings and level of intimacy instead of explaining them in the social context of why we need these relationships in the first place, of course, people are going to ask “How is that different from friendship?” because they haven’t had the same experiences with amatonormativity and therefore don’t have the information necessary to understand why aro people would need a whole new type of platonic relationship.   

[tremendously-crazy]

"Do you want a boyfriend/girlfriend?" no i want a best friend/roommate/soulmate that I can go on silly adventures with and hang out with and have deep intellectual discussions with and we can be life partners without any of the romance stuff

[jellyfishmakeoutparty]

I love you relationship anarchy I love you polyamory I love you queerplatonic relationships I love you unlabeled relationships I love you deep platonic relationships that define themselves I love you deep romantic relationships that define themselves I love you any relationship that defines itself I love you people who love completely and comfortably I love you people learning how to love however comfortable for them I love people I love love

[qprstories]

Im the worst at being subtle, cuz while i was talking about "something stressing me out" (wanting to ask my now-qpp to be in a qpr) SAID now-qpp legit just. ALREADY KNEW LOL?? thinking back on that is a little embarrassing but its also really heartwarming to me :)

🌻

[qprstories]

Hello! Wanted to share that my anniversary with my QPP was two days ago (we got “married” under fireworks with a bunch of friends last year)

🌻

[alfredomalocaris]

Hi I don’t talk here much so I’m gonna just blurb this out :3 I made a flag for queerplatonic affection/attraction and queerplatonic relationships. This isn’t an attempt to put a label on it or make anything official bc I just made this in ibis paint for fun so I can use it with my QPP and with friends and wanted to offer it as a concept for others. I’m ok with alterations, inspiration being taken, and the like so you may use it as long as it isn’t for hateful use. Also don’t claim as your own but that totally would never happen on the internet

Explanation of thoughts and process :3

YELLOW- represents happiness, friendship, and platonic love.

LIGHT ORANGE/GOLD- stands for sanctuary and trust, as well as deep emotional bonds

RED- stands for love within queerplatonic relationships, particularly stemming from aromantic communities and platonic affections for friends

PURPLE- represents the aroace community and how it differs from the societal norms of platonic love and affection, including aplatonic members of the community

WHITE HEART- represents those with allo identities who are connected through queerplatonic relationships as well, and additionally represents the nonconformity of queer love in every sense, as it cannot always be labeled or contained in a boxed description

If you’d like to use this in anything, please tag me if you’d be comfy! You can make your own versions as well, I’d love to see everyone’s interpretations and own experiences with queerplatonic affection and love. You are not broken. You are valid. You choose how you would like to receive love.

And as an additional note, queerplatonic love and relationships should not and will not ever be the standard for aromantic Or alloromantic people! You are just as valid if you are aplatonic or affection repulsed, just as every other aromantic and asexual person is and always will be. Happy Pride month to everyone :3 I love you aromantic and aromantic allies I love you aromantics who are okay with romance as an option I love you aromantics who could never love someone in a romantic way I love you cupioromantics I love you demiromantics I love you greyromantics I love you arofluxs I love you acefluxs I love you asexuals and demisexuals and greysexuals and queerplatonic partners and everyone with squishes they don’t wish to pursue and every transfem and transmasc aroace person and every black aroace person every indigenous aroace every Palestinian aroace every questioning aroace I love you alloaros I love you alloaces I love you every allo ally who is in QPP relationships and polyamorous aromantics and asexuals I love you I love you I love you and you are so loved and deserving of love that You wish to receive on your terms and nothing less

Also surprise jokey flag below the cut

[qprstories]

Me and my QPR partner had a “wedding” at school. We refer to each other as wife and wusband. :)

WIFE AND WUSBAND I LOVE IT

🌻